(no subject)
So I AM going to get new medication. I'm not sure exactly when it is going to happen, but it will be soon. they'll take the old one away from me all at once and give me the new one within eight days thereafter. The old meds will stop working right away and the new one ¨will not start working until after 2 or 3 months, which means I'll be off antipsychotics for that long.
I'm actually really scared. Can't even sleep right now, I mean, they are messing with my mind here. I might get to a point where I don't know the difference between reality and the things that simply goes on in my mind. The nurse asked me, if I wanted to be in hospital for those months, but I said no. I want to stay at home if that's possible, But it's been more than a year since I've been paranoid. I guess I've forgotten most of what a nightmare it is, I feel so sane right now. Why do they have to mess with it now? And what if the new medication doesn't work? If they won't give me the old one again, I could be in hospital for a year or two while they're trying to figure everything out.
So I'm really scared. And I don't know how to calm myself.