To the tune of "My Bonnie lies over the ocean"

[tomcullen]

My grandpa sells condoms to sailors
he punches the tips with a pin
my grandma does back-street abortions
my god how the money rolls in

Rolls in, rolls in
my god how the money rolls in

My brothers a mission'ry worker
he saves fallen women from sin
for five bucks he'll save you a red-head
my god how the money rolls in

Rolls in, rolls in
my god how the money rolls in