a thought just occured to me...
interesting.
I just noticed that whenever I'm gearing up for "off time" (a weekend trip or even just a couple of days off to hang with friends. Actually even just a night when I'm going to get to be casual and do something fun) I automatically what to take steps to make my appearance male. That is to say that when I subconciously look forward to it, I automatically picture my self bound and presenting as male.
I assume it's because I really can't bind at work, even though my dress is very business male (save the tie). So I can only do it in my down time...which I see as "me time"...so it's veeeery interesting that I automatically want to do what ever fun activity is planned at my most comfortable....which quite evidently now is not just in jeans and a sweatshirt but in jeans, a sweatshirt, a binder and a baseball cap. The point is, when my mind is allowed to wander on it's own to what I see as comfotable, comforting and enjoyable i'm always bound and baseball capped.
This is a mini revelation but I can't seem to convey it clearly. It came clear to me because I'm looking forward to heading up to NY tonight for the weekend but I immediately was deflated a notch when i realized I'll be seeing my mom and my aunt so binding is not a good idea.
Hmm.
I just noticed that whenever I'm gearing up for "off time" (a weekend trip or even just a couple of days off to hang with friends. Actually even just a night when I'm going to get to be casual and do something fun) I automatically what to take steps to make my appearance male. That is to say that when I subconciously look forward to it, I automatically picture my self bound and presenting as male.
I assume it's because I really can't bind at work, even though my dress is very business male (save the tie). So I can only do it in my down time...which I see as "me time"...so it's veeeery interesting that I automatically want to do what ever fun activity is planned at my most comfortable....which quite evidently now is not just in jeans and a sweatshirt but in jeans, a sweatshirt, a binder and a baseball cap. The point is, when my mind is allowed to wander on it's own to what I see as comfotable, comforting and enjoyable i'm always bound and baseball capped.
This is a mini revelation but I can't seem to convey it clearly. It came clear to me because I'm looking forward to heading up to NY tonight for the weekend but I immediately was deflated a notch when i realized I'll be seeing my mom and my aunt so binding is not a good idea.
Hmm.