(no subject)
hey folks, how u all doing? me? well good things and bad things, so i guess that means average?
ill say good things first cause no one really wants to hear me bitch so u can read the nice stuff and just skip the bad shit if u want, but i just need to get my thoughts out so im writing it in here.
ive lost a bit of weight and feeling a bit better about myself. started going on a low carb and sweets diet and not eating late at night again and it seems to be taking care of my winter fat. by mid summer, ill be really happy about myself i think.
i got a button maker!! cost about 30 bucks, and it comes with all the materials. yey! im going to make a bunch of funny shit, and then make some badges for the band to sell/hand out at lives.
we took photos for the web page yesterday and i look fucking hot!! when i get them posted up, ill let u know. should be by next week sometime before the 27th.
takao gave the manager of the live hosue we play at a copy of the CD and said that it was good and alot better than the last CD....this means ALOT to me cause Minstrelix has a bunch of underground legends...the last CD was named number 2 best indies metal single in japan in 2003...plus the song "thirst for" was like a magical mysic melody past around on the internet, but never has there been made a lyrics list or any information about it, just that it was played at lives. a cool thing happeneing right now!! ^^^ minstrelix once made a demo CD of "thirst for" and past it out for free at a live show. yui was looking for music on yahoo auction japan and found it for sale on the auction starting price 5000yen!! (50$about) wtf??? who the hell is going to buy that for that price?? is it really that good?? and if it is, and people say that our music now is much better than before, what does that make us now? does taht make us KICK ASS????!!! ....i hope so!! ill do my best!!
shinji is going to his parents house tomorrow night until saturday evening...this is a VERY GOOD THING!!! ill finally get some fucking time on my own. he said he would be coming home late tonight, like 9ish cause he was going to study in a cafe or something afterwork. i was fucking thrilled, cause i really wanted to just relax and watch a movie and make some yummies and sew, but as soon as i got home, started dinner, had almost finished cooking, he walks in the door and asks if im cooking enough for him, and if not, to make him some when im finished. i said "hell no im almost done and im tired and i want to eat." then he says, "ok when ur done, wash the pan so i can cook something for myself" then again i said, "after i fucking eat cause im tired, if u had told me you were coming i would have made something for u" : ( saddness... i just wanted to be alone for a couple hours. for some reason, his prsence just annoys me. he touches me too much. i hate being touched, most poeple know this. i dont like being cutsy and lovey dovey or touchy feely. i dont really like giving kisses and hugs all the time and saying i love u. i hate it. it makes me feel uncomfortable. i have to cuddle children all day like that. why would i want to do it at home too with someone who is supposed to be a MAN and be strong and chill, not panicy and needy like a child.
but in his annoyance, he said some funny things. he as always, HAS to take a shower with me, even though he knows i just want to relax in the tub. but he says he'll be short, but he aint, and just stays at the door and wont shut the hell up. today he looked down into the tub, and says "your bush is so red....you have a BURNING BUSH!" i laughed at that.."BOW TO MY BURNING BUSH AND OBEY MY HOLY COMMANDMENTS!" i replied..haha he didnt understand tho..
i started voice lessons again. the teacher pointed out some things that i do when i sing that really have helped my voice. ahh its nice to have training. she says i dont relax enough when i sing and the muscles in my neck and shoulders get so tense that i cant open my airways enough to get a good voice out. ahhh! thats why! and things like that...
guess its on to some bad things...i just feel trapped. no space to breathe. shinji is always here and if i go out alone, he gets upset and thinks i dont want to be with him. (not always, but if just suddenly go somewhere) the cat HATES him with a passion. he is terrified of him and wont come out of hidding until he leaves the house. he doesnt even like to eat while he is here. i get no time to cuddle with him cause he is scared to move. he hisses and growles whenever shinji is around. i feel so horrible for him. it must suck (and i understand perfectly) to live withsomeone u dont much like. as i said before, he just smothers me in attention that i dont want, and cant say "just fucking go away and stop touching me!" cause that would really hurt his feelings. i decided i just got to get out so im taking a week off in july to travel. guess ill go alone cause i dont have any friends who have money or time to travel. maybe to korea..maybe somewhere warmer like thailand or nepal or something where i can get some exotic fruits. havent decided yet, but i have some frequent flier miles that i want to use up so now is the best time i guess. anyone got money to travel?? id love to have ur company if u got some time off this july.
anyway thats it for now
ill say good things first cause no one really wants to hear me bitch so u can read the nice stuff and just skip the bad shit if u want, but i just need to get my thoughts out so im writing it in here.
ive lost a bit of weight and feeling a bit better about myself. started going on a low carb and sweets diet and not eating late at night again and it seems to be taking care of my winter fat. by mid summer, ill be really happy about myself i think.
i got a button maker!! cost about 30 bucks, and it comes with all the materials. yey! im going to make a bunch of funny shit, and then make some badges for the band to sell/hand out at lives.
we took photos for the web page yesterday and i look fucking hot!! when i get them posted up, ill let u know. should be by next week sometime before the 27th.
takao gave the manager of the live hosue we play at a copy of the CD and said that it was good and alot better than the last CD....this means ALOT to me cause Minstrelix has a bunch of underground legends...the last CD was named number 2 best indies metal single in japan in 2003...plus the song "thirst for" was like a magical mysic melody past around on the internet, but never has there been made a lyrics list or any information about it, just that it was played at lives. a cool thing happeneing right now!! ^^^ minstrelix once made a demo CD of "thirst for" and past it out for free at a live show. yui was looking for music on yahoo auction japan and found it for sale on the auction starting price 5000yen!! (50$about) wtf??? who the hell is going to buy that for that price?? is it really that good?? and if it is, and people say that our music now is much better than before, what does that make us now? does taht make us KICK ASS????!!! ....i hope so!! ill do my best!!
shinji is going to his parents house tomorrow night until saturday evening...this is a VERY GOOD THING!!! ill finally get some fucking time on my own. he said he would be coming home late tonight, like 9ish cause he was going to study in a cafe or something afterwork. i was fucking thrilled, cause i really wanted to just relax and watch a movie and make some yummies and sew, but as soon as i got home, started dinner, had almost finished cooking, he walks in the door and asks if im cooking enough for him, and if not, to make him some when im finished. i said "hell no im almost done and im tired and i want to eat." then he says, "ok when ur done, wash the pan so i can cook something for myself" then again i said, "after i fucking eat cause im tired, if u had told me you were coming i would have made something for u" : ( saddness... i just wanted to be alone for a couple hours. for some reason, his prsence just annoys me. he touches me too much. i hate being touched, most poeple know this. i dont like being cutsy and lovey dovey or touchy feely. i dont really like giving kisses and hugs all the time and saying i love u. i hate it. it makes me feel uncomfortable. i have to cuddle children all day like that. why would i want to do it at home too with someone who is supposed to be a MAN and be strong and chill, not panicy and needy like a child.
but in his annoyance, he said some funny things. he as always, HAS to take a shower with me, even though he knows i just want to relax in the tub. but he says he'll be short, but he aint, and just stays at the door and wont shut the hell up. today he looked down into the tub, and says "your bush is so red....you have a BURNING BUSH!" i laughed at that.."BOW TO MY BURNING BUSH AND OBEY MY HOLY COMMANDMENTS!" i replied..haha he didnt understand tho..
i started voice lessons again. the teacher pointed out some things that i do when i sing that really have helped my voice. ahh its nice to have training. she says i dont relax enough when i sing and the muscles in my neck and shoulders get so tense that i cant open my airways enough to get a good voice out. ahhh! thats why! and things like that...
guess its on to some bad things...i just feel trapped. no space to breathe. shinji is always here and if i go out alone, he gets upset and thinks i dont want to be with him. (not always, but if just suddenly go somewhere) the cat HATES him with a passion. he is terrified of him and wont come out of hidding until he leaves the house. he doesnt even like to eat while he is here. i get no time to cuddle with him cause he is scared to move. he hisses and growles whenever shinji is around. i feel so horrible for him. it must suck (and i understand perfectly) to live withsomeone u dont much like. as i said before, he just smothers me in attention that i dont want, and cant say "just fucking go away and stop touching me!" cause that would really hurt his feelings. i decided i just got to get out so im taking a week off in july to travel. guess ill go alone cause i dont have any friends who have money or time to travel. maybe to korea..maybe somewhere warmer like thailand or nepal or something where i can get some exotic fruits. havent decided yet, but i have some frequent flier miles that i want to use up so now is the best time i guess. anyone got money to travel?? id love to have ur company if u got some time off this july.
anyway thats it for now