(no subject)
and you call this life???
omg i wrote in my journal for like 2 whole periods today. all i was gonna do was just write about sunday's craziness and i went off on so many tangents and then i just started reflecting on the past year cuz thats basically what my whole journal is. i have like a page left in it, so imma start a new one at the beginning of the summer. i havta think of someother way to cover it tho. im gettin off topic again tho. so by the end of what i wrote today, it was just saying how much i've changed since the beginning of high school, and i stopped and read through it, and im like, wow, im a completely differnt person than i used to be. and when i thought about it more, i realized that now im the kind of person i never wanted to be like, but im so much happier now than i ever was before. i feel like im incredibly hypocritical of myself. and as happy as i feel sometimes, i have this underlying guilt becuase i've done things that were completely wrong. but i cant keep dwelling on them becuase i just always makes everything so much worse. but its so hard not to. there's so much craziness in my life right now, and once i feel like i've gotten one thing sorted out, something else goes wrong. and when i do something i think will fix it, it fixes it, but i feel worse about it, so i feel like im doing the wrong thing when i try to fix it. and im affecting other people when i do this too. eric--im sorry. im just not what you think i am. andrea--i dont know what it is, what i did, why i did it, why you feel the way you do, becuase its so confusing. i feel absolutely horrible though. it obviously made your life fucking peachy keen getting me out of it, but you didn't realize how much you meant to me and that i miss you and i cant do anything about cuz apparently trying to be my friend is too fucking hard for you. i really fucking hope your happy. you make me miserable. have a nice life without me. anybode else i owe some fucked up apology too? let me know...you deserve it
omg i wrote in my journal for like 2 whole periods today. all i was gonna do was just write about sunday's craziness and i went off on so many tangents and then i just started reflecting on the past year cuz thats basically what my whole journal is. i have like a page left in it, so imma start a new one at the beginning of the summer. i havta think of someother way to cover it tho. im gettin off topic again tho. so by the end of what i wrote today, it was just saying how much i've changed since the beginning of high school, and i stopped and read through it, and im like, wow, im a completely differnt person than i used to be. and when i thought about it more, i realized that now im the kind of person i never wanted to be like, but im so much happier now than i ever was before. i feel like im incredibly hypocritical of myself. and as happy as i feel sometimes, i have this underlying guilt becuase i've done things that were completely wrong. but i cant keep dwelling on them becuase i just always makes everything so much worse. but its so hard not to. there's so much craziness in my life right now, and once i feel like i've gotten one thing sorted out, something else goes wrong. and when i do something i think will fix it, it fixes it, but i feel worse about it, so i feel like im doing the wrong thing when i try to fix it. and im affecting other people when i do this too. eric--im sorry. im just not what you think i am. andrea--i dont know what it is, what i did, why i did it, why you feel the way you do, becuase its so confusing. i feel absolutely horrible though. it obviously made your life fucking peachy keen getting me out of it, but you didn't realize how much you meant to me and that i miss you and i cant do anything about cuz apparently trying to be my friend is too fucking hard for you. i really fucking hope your happy. you make me miserable. have a nice life without me. anybode else i owe some fucked up apology too? let me know...you deserve it