【Oneshot】Howls
pairing: yuto/yama
[Yuto Nakajima, whose partner Ryosuke Yamada was bludgeoned to death by family members who disapproved of their marriage.]
‘It dries up
I've been a spoken word
I've been a river bed
I've been a rabid force
And let it flow up from within
Sometimes it feels like I only dream in black and white’
-Best Friend (Foster the People)
So, perhaps, drinking that much alcohol was a bad idea. Preposterous, even, as he clutched his head, disco lights still seemingly taunting him. Several individuals from his circumambient vision were starting to throw him uncanny glances. He shrugged it off, feeling the alcohol began to override his system all over again. Definitely not for the first time either.
Yuto Nakajima was his name, a big star that you see on billboards and TVs, showcasing his Colgate smile every now and then, always trying so hard to bridle his enervation, even so weary orbs still danced upon his eyes. Of course, not many knew this side of him. Drunken, minus the slurs, nevertheless out of his mind and the man who seemed perfect on screen, now poignant, and helpless and at the state of corrupt.
Yuto straightened up in his stool, not realizing that he was slouching even on the verge of falling straight to the contaminated floor. He shook his head, trying to get the sensation of the alcohol- burning on his throat and head- away.
“Oi, Nakajima. I’m not dragging your ass out this time”, said one of the drink-maker, bar-bartendar? Bartandar? He did not know anymore.
“Just leave me alone. I’m pitiful enough”, Yuto said, drank the last bit of the alcohol and threw the glass to the floor, with a silent laugh. His hair was disheveled, facial expression showed no conscience evident. Yuto was gone.
Once, there were lights.
Second, there were sounds.
Third, there were mirrors.
Yuto jolted awoke. His eyes flickered once, twice, and dallied on the anticipated headache that was surely to come. However, he felt none. And as the incandescent sunlight inundated the space, the resilient mattress felt chilly as he straightened up in his own-
This wasn’t-
“Woke already? You sleepyhead.” There was that voice again, husky, sexy and just so tempting. Yuto glanced around and found the figure reclined against the timber door.
“Ryosuke”, Yuto breathed. And he stopped. It was harrowing to see that he had gone back to the past, again, to enliven his already demoralized mentality perhaps?
“I’m not a ghost, stupid.” Ryosuke laughed, and it was the most beautiful smile in the world.
“You are” Ryosuke had to know. “You were-“
But there were flashes of memories, and they were excruciating, and Yuto felt like dying again. And again. The soft lips upon his own burned, like inferno, bursting at its seams. In no time, pearls of tears were beginning to show. And Yuto cried while Ryosuke held him, smiling.
Yuto was back in the bar, as his senses returning one by one, starting from his ears. He felt his underarms aching, perhaps from being hoisted up from the back, in which the bartender (Ha! Finally got it right!) was still doing. He shook himself off the man; notwithstanding the fact the man had probably just saved his life. But he did not care, he was famous, if the bartender knew he was, in which he could fairly bet that the bartender actually did know him- was going to call the media and his career would be over.
And then what could he do? He wanted to do accounting, but it was too troublesome now that he thought about it. But how about culinary? That too, was a rather farcical, incomprehensible idea. These give some more thoughts to Yuto though, realizing that he would basically be finished if the bartender had done anything while he was out cold a few minutes ago.
“Let go of me!” He bellowed, making forceful efforts to get out from the restrain. However, to no avail. Yuto was weak, while the man was strong. It was rather prominent that with Yuto’s sylphlike body he would not be able to go as much as to pull himself out of the man’s grip.
“I’m not trying to hurt you!”, The bartender oh-so-caringly stated. These pitiful liars just did not know when to stop, did they? “You passed out, and started to call out for some dude while you were fainting. I was only trying to help!”
His reasoning came and went from his ears. Yuto kept struggling, not caring if he had hurt the bartender as he moved in a violent and convulsive manner, his feet kicking the thin air. He found this greatly nauseating. Yuto Nakajima? Being held down in the bar because he fainted and started screaming shit?
The man, with a sigh, disentangled himself from Yuto. He slowly ran his fingers to his hair, appeared to be disheartened? Yuto shakily raised himself up from the floor (Disgusting.) and briskly walked towards the exit, although wobbly and obviously still intoxicated. The man watched Yuto’s back with mild sympathy.
It was a few months ago when the Bartender had met Yuto for the first time. The atmosphere was crazy inside the bar, minus the disco lights and everything. This was the bar that sent the buzz throughout the town, and conceivably that was the magnet of Yuto’s attraction towards this place. However when he first saw Yuto, he was with a friend. The Bartender had no idea what was he called, but he and Yuto looked euphoric, rapturous even, as they sat on the stool and were convulsed with laughter every now and then. As opposed to the state of Yuto now, back then he was an entire different person.
They danced, came back, ordered more drinks, and danced again. The Bartender committed the scene to his memories as he was baffled by how they were there and seemed utterly, completely, unqualifiedly in love with each other. It was as obvious as the blue sky.
The next day, Yuto did not appear. The Bartender had already forgotten about him by then, and carried out his tasks like usual. That was until the fourth night, when Yuto came back at two in the morning, eyes drained of emotion, hair tousled, appearing to be wholly debilitated. The Bartender was merely polishing up his glasses, as he caught sight at the pitiful man. Perhaps, that was the time when he realized that Yuto was a huge star who he had seen a thousand times on TV.
It was interesting, to see the difference between how TV could manipulate a person to look so healthy on screen with heavy makeup. Because the Yuto that he saw with his own vision, appeared to be cadaverous and white as a sheet. His shoulder sagged, coat threatened to fall off anytime now. Overall, it was safe to say that Yuto looked like shit. Not to mention the possibility that he could have a deleterious lifestyle.
Yuto kept asking for another round of drinks, even as the crowd had dispersed and left Yuto companionless. And finally, after inebriated, Yuto stood up from his stool, slammed a note of forty thousand yens, and left self-effacingly.
And from that day, he kept on coming, order the same round of drinks, and all alone, partnerless. Which came to where The Bartender was, trying to help the man but failed to do so. The man seemed to be struggling with his own self and contented to cloister himself in the dark.
True enough, the next night, Yuto came back to the same bar, sat on the same stool, met the same bartender, fainted on the same spot, over and over again like a broken record. Proved how much of cuckoo he was, huh? Yuto honestly thought that low of himself. There was not anything left he could hold on to, anyway.
Ryosuke Yamada, whose partner Yuto Nakajima, a famous actor was bludgeoned to death by family members who disapproved of their marriage,
Ryosuke Yamada (24), was murdered by a group of assailants on August 10, witnesses and police said, because he fell in love with the famous actor and singer. Investigators suspect that-
The newspaper was squeezed together with his hand, and he crumpled and propelled it to the wall with a loud smack. Heaving a sigh, the man walked slowly to his rocking chair, counting the alphabets that were decorated nicely on the white wall. Smiling to the air, he began to sing that song again, echoed through the walls of his memories.
Of utter despair and loneliness.
A/N: That was so depressing. But glad I finished it nonetheless. I had no other choice but to put it up as YutoYama, but basically the idea came from the romance movie ‘About Time’? If you have watched it, then you may know that the fanfic has nothing to do with the movie itself. Hahaha. I was going to make this a time-travel fic, while I got caught with some events happening in my life. I’m going back to Indonesia on September and I’m not happy at all. But anyway, enough of that. Thanks for reading guys!