I feel like shit
Well, our first show went well in that we made it through.
At one point my crash cymbal kind of fell apart and almost fell over, but I caught it and was able to keep going. Julia and I both forgot chucks of lyrics, but we were able to move on with the music smoothly, so that was ok. We weren't able to do a sound check, so the sound was shit, but the important thing is that we got our first show over with, and it was for an audience that probably would never willing have listened to us, anyway.
I feel really happy that we didn't compromise ourselves in any way. Julia didn't want to play 'white girl' because she was afraid people would think she was a skinhead. But she did it. I didn't want to do all the lyrics to 'racial tension headache' because one of the stories involved someone who ended up showing up, and I was afraid that he'd be hurt and angry with me. He wasn't, but I did end up offending two other people... one of the people knew where I stood about the comments he made, but I think he was suprised that I put it into a song. The other person, I didn't say anything about the comment he made at the time that he made it, and as a result he's pretty pissed off at me today, so I feel like a big bag of shit. The strange thing is that the comment he made, MANY MANY MANY people have made, so it's not like it's even personal, but he's upset. I feel baaddddd.
And I got into a big argument last night and turned into a bitch because even after our first fucking show we're still discussing band names. It's not fun anymore, because we need a name. I got really pissed and said I was over that conversation, and I gave Julia a deadline until Tuesday to come up with a name. I was such a huge bitch and I kind of feel bad for being such bitch, but not that bad because I'm right, we need to pick a name, and no name is ever going to be that perfect name that makes angels sing and the heavens open up and beam light upon our shining faces. We just have to settle with something.
And I think I offended my boyfriend, but 30% of my brain thinks that I'm just being paranoid.