Fucked up
Since this isn't exactly _____ related, I'll post it in here, and in English since lately my flist has been mostly... well, English.
I feel so shitty. So fucking bad atm. I know I should go to bed and stop thinking, but the feeling's so strong right now. I just wish I had someone to talk to about it but I can't think of anyone, nobody's here anyway. Everyone's sleeping.
I'm so afraid, I'm so stuck with myself, I'm so worn out. I don't want to keep on going. Tomorrow I'll go to Oona's place, or rather see a movie with her and then go to her place. Larp and movies as usual. I hope it'll easen my mind, I doubt it though. Tomorrow I also have doctor's appointment AND should get another for the referral.
I don't know.
I'm so fucking afraid of everything I just want to curl up and die. It would be the easiest and most comfortable thing to do right now.
All of this started when I looked through his photos. I don't know why. Maybe this was just seeking something to fall on me for. The fucking hay that broke the camel's back and other clichés. I just want to die. I don't want to be. I just don't want to exist anymore.
So fucking scared I don't know how to be.
Can't move on, can't go back.
I want to be someone else.
I feel so shitty. So fucking bad atm. I know I should go to bed and stop thinking, but the feeling's so strong right now. I just wish I had someone to talk to about it but I can't think of anyone, nobody's here anyway. Everyone's sleeping.
I'm so afraid, I'm so stuck with myself, I'm so worn out. I don't want to keep on going. Tomorrow I'll go to Oona's place, or rather see a movie with her and then go to her place. Larp and movies as usual. I hope it'll easen my mind, I doubt it though. Tomorrow I also have doctor's appointment AND should get another for the referral.
I don't know.
I'm so fucking afraid of everything I just want to curl up and die. It would be the easiest and most comfortable thing to do right now.
All of this started when I looked through his photos. I don't know why. Maybe this was just seeking something to fall on me for. The fucking hay that broke the camel's back and other clichés. I just want to die. I don't want to be. I just don't want to exist anymore.
So fucking scared I don't know how to be.
Can't move on, can't go back.
I want to be someone else.