utility
Philosophy doesn't make me happy. I like studying it, I have some facility at writing it, but I don't really enjoy it. It serves my purposes; namely it isn't very hard, and allows me the maximum number of paths after I finish here at Conn. Perhaps though that's not enough.
I really hate that I've had this realization. There was a while there when I was pretty sure I was on the right track. I actually had a plan, goals, all those other things one is apparently supposed to have. It made sense, and even if it wasn't really that much fun, it was something.
Now, though, I have a terrible feeling getting back into the saddle isn't going to be easy.
I might hate this much less if I saw a viable alternative. Lots of other things make me happy, but none of them are particularly productive, and certainly none of them present even the meager carear paths that are offered by Philosophy.
I sit around and watch movies, I read constantly, I take photos and perversely, I'm more willing to search through labyrinthine books of election law for a club than I am to go to class. It would be too easy to simply write this off as a byproduct of my latent madness...no, this is something that is (unfortunatly) going to require some work to unravel. If I can find the few things that really, actually, motivate me and find the thread that connects them, their practical application, maybe I'll have a chance at getting back into some kind of path. Till then, though, I foresee just a lot of me sitting around, contemplating...well...I don't really know.
I really hate that I've had this realization. There was a while there when I was pretty sure I was on the right track. I actually had a plan, goals, all those other things one is apparently supposed to have. It made sense, and even if it wasn't really that much fun, it was something.
Now, though, I have a terrible feeling getting back into the saddle isn't going to be easy.
I might hate this much less if I saw a viable alternative. Lots of other things make me happy, but none of them are particularly productive, and certainly none of them present even the meager carear paths that are offered by Philosophy.
I sit around and watch movies, I read constantly, I take photos and perversely, I'm more willing to search through labyrinthine books of election law for a club than I am to go to class. It would be too easy to simply write this off as a byproduct of my latent madness...no, this is something that is (unfortunatly) going to require some work to unravel. If I can find the few things that really, actually, motivate me and find the thread that connects them, their practical application, maybe I'll have a chance at getting back into some kind of path. Till then, though, I foresee just a lot of me sitting around, contemplating...well...I don't really know.