Why do I like Pepe Taco?

[tom_lane]

Pepe Taco has got to be the nastiest, grimiest place I've ever eaten at, yet I love it so much. After pulling my sleeve down over my hand to grasp the filth ridden door handle, I walk in and dodge some spider webs in the lobby and take in the overwhelming stench of dirt, grease & organic material that's been dried on the wall or in the corners since 1985. As I walk through the door, I brace myself so my feet will not slip out from under me from the 60%/40% grease/water mixture on the newly mopped floor and my eardrums take in the soothing sounds of top 40 muzak versions playing on the intercom at this "Mexican resteraunt." I quickly walk to the counter where I give my Taco Salad, large drink order to the man with the Texas State Longhorns baseball cap on which, at one point in time was orange, but is now dirt grey. He writes out the order scratches his itchy facial hair, punches in my order on the 1979 cash register that probably served some time in Vietnam. As I'm waiting for my order, I head to the men's room. No surprise that I see rusted pipes, a cobweb in the corner, a dead fly on the toilet stool and a urinal that was last cleaned on Nov. 21, 1971. As I get the business out, I fear I may contract some sort of strange disease from this restroom. When I'm done, I go to the fountain to get some ice tea, water sprays out from the primitive machine forcing me to dump the contents and try again, then again, third time's a charm. I head back to the pickup counter to delight in my taco salad. The server throws some chips on the side with the same hand that he scratched himself with and handled my dirty money with. The Taco Salad tasted okay, it gave me heartburn. When I'm finished, I dump my garbage and refill my tea with the same trials as before. As I'm leaving through the back, I use my shoulder to open the door so I don't have to touch the huge caked on grease spot formed on the door over the past 30 years.

I love this place, I'm going back tomorrow!!