(no subject)
so, i'm not going to England. i'm really sorry everyone who planned on me being there, but i just can't face life right now. i would much rather go curl up in the dismal corner of the world that i have made my own lately than be forced into the Coca-Cola happy lifestyles that many of you hope to lead.
i'm not like most people. i don't heal easily, and every time i'm broken, there is another crack where i was mended. and this time, i think i was just shattered into too many pieces. i can't be glued back together anymore.
i have to go back to LA sooner or later, and i might as well make it now. but please, don't say you'll come over and be there for me. if i need anything right now, it's solitude. i need to be alone, and hear my own voice bouncing off the cold, uncaring walls. i need to just let myself sink in deep enough that i don't have to feel anymore. i want to be alone. no, i need to be alone.
how many seconds, how many minutes, how many hours will it be? how many days, how many weeks, how many months until you see? how many years? how many decades? how many centuries will it take?
....before you all realize that my life is not worth it?
and to the only person who matters anymore, don't try. even you can't make me better this time.
i'm not like most people. i don't heal easily, and every time i'm broken, there is another crack where i was mended. and this time, i think i was just shattered into too many pieces. i can't be glued back together anymore.
i have to go back to LA sooner or later, and i might as well make it now. but please, don't say you'll come over and be there for me. if i need anything right now, it's solitude. i need to be alone, and hear my own voice bouncing off the cold, uncaring walls. i need to just let myself sink in deep enough that i don't have to feel anymore. i want to be alone. no, i need to be alone.
how many seconds, how many minutes, how many hours will it be? how many days, how many weeks, how many months until you see? how many years? how many decades? how many centuries will it take?
....before you all realize that my life is not worth it?
and to the only person who matters anymore, don't try. even you can't make me better this time.