i need your grace to remind me to find my own
Home is good. However, it's not exactly going to be the same in about a week. I hate not knowing the answers to things, and I know that is just life. Siobhan will be leaving for her summer adventures in a little over a week. I am going to miss her so much. She's seriously an outstanding person. I can't say it enough. You know when you just love someone so much, and you know there is no way to really express how much you truly adore them? Thats how I feel about her. Love her.
I can feel myself changing a little bit every day. What happens when I don't really know who I am? I know WHO I am, don't get me wrong. Making changes is never easy, especially when you're trying to remodel your basic out look on life and relationships with others. I know that the person that I want to be is a great idea to work towards, and there will never be a day that a light goes off and I'll be done. It will be a constant process that gives and takes slightly over time. I just hope the people important to me also see the change as a good thing. Maybe no one will even notice anything different. Maybe thats not a bad thing. As long as I feel better, thats really what counts the most, after that everything else should just sort of fall into place.
My life feels like a puzzle and none of the pieces seem to fit together. They have different shapes, colors, sizes and are made of different material. I feel like a kid that just cuts out shapes and slaps them together with a ton of paste. So I think coming to the realization that if things don't all fit together - its ok. Some of my favorite art looks like a big mess, not neat and orderly. I'm not neat and orderly. I just need to get an idea of what kind of method to the madness there is going to be.
Faith. If you lack it, how do you find it? Faith takes all different sorts of forms. Big and small. Faith that you'll make it in time to catch that bus, or faith that everything will work out, or faith that you'll find that someone, faith that you can do this, faith. When you loose your faith in yourself, others, everything, how do you go about getting it back? What steps do you take in order to regain that simple thing that you once took for granted. Once you just feel so broken and done, can you ever really get back to that place where you just blindly felt faith without a second thought? Does the best sort of faith come with out work - or is it that which you develop from actually having to work at it in order for it come through.
Choosing one path, and wondering what would have happened if you had taken another is not a good idea. Second guesses are usually just a headache. First intuition may not always be right - but atleast you tried. So taking failure as experience, and the chance to change things with the knowledge you've gained actually sounds like a start to success. Maybe thats warped.
Fate or faith - which one ultimately should you follow?
I can feel myself changing a little bit every day. What happens when I don't really know who I am? I know WHO I am, don't get me wrong. Making changes is never easy, especially when you're trying to remodel your basic out look on life and relationships with others. I know that the person that I want to be is a great idea to work towards, and there will never be a day that a light goes off and I'll be done. It will be a constant process that gives and takes slightly over time. I just hope the people important to me also see the change as a good thing. Maybe no one will even notice anything different. Maybe thats not a bad thing. As long as I feel better, thats really what counts the most, after that everything else should just sort of fall into place.
My life feels like a puzzle and none of the pieces seem to fit together. They have different shapes, colors, sizes and are made of different material. I feel like a kid that just cuts out shapes and slaps them together with a ton of paste. So I think coming to the realization that if things don't all fit together - its ok. Some of my favorite art looks like a big mess, not neat and orderly. I'm not neat and orderly. I just need to get an idea of what kind of method to the madness there is going to be.
Faith. If you lack it, how do you find it? Faith takes all different sorts of forms. Big and small. Faith that you'll make it in time to catch that bus, or faith that everything will work out, or faith that you'll find that someone, faith that you can do this, faith. When you loose your faith in yourself, others, everything, how do you go about getting it back? What steps do you take in order to regain that simple thing that you once took for granted. Once you just feel so broken and done, can you ever really get back to that place where you just blindly felt faith without a second thought? Does the best sort of faith come with out work - or is it that which you develop from actually having to work at it in order for it come through.
Choosing one path, and wondering what would have happened if you had taken another is not a good idea. Second guesses are usually just a headache. First intuition may not always be right - but atleast you tried. So taking failure as experience, and the chance to change things with the knowledge you've gained actually sounds like a start to success. Maybe thats warped.
Fate or faith - which one ultimately should you follow?