Some things I've realized...
I haven't really been feeling any different. Same old shit. Nothing new, I guess. I should be used to it by now, huh? I've been trying to deal with my own shit, and trying to listen to the advice that I've gotten from friends, it sinks in for awhile, and I understand what they're saying, I really do, but when it comes down to it, I don't want to help myself sometimes. I don't want to do anything about it sometimes, because... well... I just wanna be pissed or upset or something. I don't know. I want to feel like it's okay to be upset. Sometimes, I just wanna be left alone. Being alone is okay a lot of the time for me anyway, because I'm so used to it, which isn't always a good thing, I know.
What I thought about on the bus to school this morning: My iPod. I shut out the world with my iPod. Yep, it's just me, myself, and I, and my own thoughts, of course. That's why I love to understand what song lyrics mean. I can think of what they meant to the songwriter, what they meant to the artist/band who recorded it, and what they mean to me. It gives me an excuse to not talk to people. A lot of the time, I don't want to talk to people. I like being by myself, so I won't be bothered. Kids don't want to talk to me, I won't talk to them. People suck sometimes.
Another thing... sometimes, I would rather talk to adults than kids my own age. That's not fucked up, is it? I'm so different from most kids at my school. I don't know... sometimes I wish I wasn't, but I wouldn't be the person I am today if I wasn't who I am.
If you don't like who I am, you can bite me for all I care. :)
:)