first stop on the metro: humility
Ok... so I can be a tad proud. And boastful. And sometimes even down right rude. And I hold on to stereotypes. I have always had issues with what I would call "pretty boys" which now may or may not be classified as "metrosexuals" and what not. I mean... some of them make my skin crawl.
Why?
I have no issues with who they are or the lifestyle they chose. So they prefer to be clean and well kept. They like shopping and new clothes. So they really work on their outward appearance. Thats not really a big deal.
I have, what can best be called, line man syndrome. That is where I feel like a grunt worker and get none of the glory, my sole purpose is to be a footstool for those more acceptable to succeed. You know, those that have the thankless jobs. I migrate towards these, I don't look for praise. I just look to get things done. And if you asked me if it was happy and fulfilling... I would say the reward is a hard days work. And I am happy with it. At least for a while.
See, the quarterback and the running back, they get noticed. They get famous. They get admired. Who do the fans root for? Who do the cheerleaders smile at? Who does the prom queen dance with? Thats right, not me.
Some would say, well Tim, that is because they are in a higher profile position and work hard at what they do. Look at how fit and smart they are. I don't discount that. I would argue though, that those in other positions may have to do as much work, but they never recieve the limelight. They just keep trodding away.
So lets extend this into normal every day life... and really get to what my point is.
Those that have a strong outward appearance get noticed. And get followed. And get respected. Some may even be down right losers, but they have the winning smile and the coordinated outfits. And it feels like to some, that is all that matters. And sure, I could work on such things, but I can only do so much, and it would only get so far, and, in actuallity, it wouldn't really be me, it would be something else I am presenting, just to get noticed. Maybe that isn't all bad, or maybe its the worst thing one can do. I think it is important to be myself. Maybe its better to change parts of myself, to become a better person, but that takes time and work. I would rather expose who I am at all times then try to have some false facade that is thrown up...
Back to my point. My problem has always been a dislike for what they seem to get, that I do not. I admit, its petty and shallow. I should be happy with who I am and what I have been blessed with. And an attitude like that will get noticed and eventually win people over... right? Sometimes I feel like I can't wait for that. I understand that I will probably never have the most smashing of first impressions, I will never be all of prince charming. It frustrates me, feeling limited only by who I am and who I chose to be. It frustrates me all the more knowing some of these things will never change.
And thus, I get annoyed. I get jeallous. I maybe even despise though that seem to have it so easy in areas that I feel so lacking. I hate that I can only stir up strong feelings of friendship in people. At least I don't completely hate myself, only my situation. I try not to over compensate for this. I try to keep a positive outlook. Its hard. I am dealing.
-Tim
Why?
I have no issues with who they are or the lifestyle they chose. So they prefer to be clean and well kept. They like shopping and new clothes. So they really work on their outward appearance. Thats not really a big deal.
I have, what can best be called, line man syndrome. That is where I feel like a grunt worker and get none of the glory, my sole purpose is to be a footstool for those more acceptable to succeed. You know, those that have the thankless jobs. I migrate towards these, I don't look for praise. I just look to get things done. And if you asked me if it was happy and fulfilling... I would say the reward is a hard days work. And I am happy with it. At least for a while.
See, the quarterback and the running back, they get noticed. They get famous. They get admired. Who do the fans root for? Who do the cheerleaders smile at? Who does the prom queen dance with? Thats right, not me.
Some would say, well Tim, that is because they are in a higher profile position and work hard at what they do. Look at how fit and smart they are. I don't discount that. I would argue though, that those in other positions may have to do as much work, but they never recieve the limelight. They just keep trodding away.
So lets extend this into normal every day life... and really get to what my point is.
Those that have a strong outward appearance get noticed. And get followed. And get respected. Some may even be down right losers, but they have the winning smile and the coordinated outfits. And it feels like to some, that is all that matters. And sure, I could work on such things, but I can only do so much, and it would only get so far, and, in actuallity, it wouldn't really be me, it would be something else I am presenting, just to get noticed. Maybe that isn't all bad, or maybe its the worst thing one can do. I think it is important to be myself. Maybe its better to change parts of myself, to become a better person, but that takes time and work. I would rather expose who I am at all times then try to have some false facade that is thrown up...
Back to my point. My problem has always been a dislike for what they seem to get, that I do not. I admit, its petty and shallow. I should be happy with who I am and what I have been blessed with. And an attitude like that will get noticed and eventually win people over... right? Sometimes I feel like I can't wait for that. I understand that I will probably never have the most smashing of first impressions, I will never be all of prince charming. It frustrates me, feeling limited only by who I am and who I chose to be. It frustrates me all the more knowing some of these things will never change.
And thus, I get annoyed. I get jeallous. I maybe even despise though that seem to have it so easy in areas that I feel so lacking. I hate that I can only stir up strong feelings of friendship in people. At least I don't completely hate myself, only my situation. I try not to over compensate for this. I try to keep a positive outlook. Its hard. I am dealing.
-Tim