(no subject)
so basically... i'm a lil upset... reason: brooks is an amazing boyfriend who makes me feel amazing...problem: he is a senior and is going to college yet basing everything around me and being close to me... i love that about him and i love him being invested in our future however where am i supposed to go to college? he thinks we arent going to make it because i'll probably go far away, but if he wants it bad enough, if we both do, how can it not? i'm only a junior i dont know where i'm going to college, but its something i have to do, its a phase that i've always looked forward to and i dont want to pass it up or not full fill my expectations, i dont look at it as getting drunk everynight and that whole thing, but just as learning to be independent and such, and how am i supposed to do that if he is always taking care of me and looking after me.... i always depend on the fact that he will ALWAYS be there whenever i need ANYTHING even if its picking out my clothes for the next day, but what if he's not always going to be there, i am 17 years old and i am one person and i need to learn how to do something on my own.... i love him and i want to be with him forever but i have faith that if that is gods plan for me and if thats what is meant to happen, it will i know that i have met brooks and been with him for so long for a reason and i am so lucky to have something some search a lifetime for... i want to grow old with him, even though i know we'd stay kids forever but thats what i want... i've stopped expecting him to change, i have now accepted everything he is and everything he's done, and just loved him for him and loved him for his mistakes....and hopefully one day he'll do the same for me... i dont want him to be scared, but idont want him to hold himself back for me or for him to expect me to... i dont want our whole relationship from this point on to be based on him being scared and not trusting me or having faith in our relationship.. he doesnt believe what i say. and how do you convince someone of something so unexplainable....arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ( not the pirate kind) i need advice........................