beating the blues - day eight
todays task turned out to be a little like this video for me. i suck at being alone, constantly being on my phone, or distracting myself with movies or shit like that. and it's something i'd really like to learn
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7X7sZzSXYs
following my date last night, i actually had a really fantastic day with the boy i am dating, but it was a little weird as well, due to some anxiety about both jai and this new boy being at the same club, and if my going would be good, or phenomially bad.
so when all the people i could see a movie with bailed on me, i decided to go by myself. i had a shower, and dressed myself up all pretty, and somehow managed to make myself late enough that i need to get a taxi if i didn't want to miss the movie i wanted to see. the whole way there i just sat and let myself think, that was when the idea of aloneness first occured to me.
when i got the cinema, i felt a little self-concious. i told myself that no-one would know i was seeing a movie by myself, but even the fact that i was telling myself that was a sign that even to me it was weird.
the movie that i saw was at the end of it's run, so it was in one of the tiny cinemas at the nova. i slipped into a row four across, two seats away from a women who was also by herself. i wondered if she was really by herself, or if her friends were still in the bathroom. as i looked around i noticed a couple behind me, and two people on the other side of the cinema, also alone.
i considered talking to the woman, but instead set up my snacks, and waited for the previews.
the movie was pretty good at keeping my attention. i think i lasted most of it before once again wondering if i should go clubbing or not, even now that i jai told me he would no longer be there.
as the movie finished, i gave in and talked to the woman next to me. we talked about the film, and about seeing movies by yourself. she told me she'd been out with friends, and they hadn't wanted to see a movie, so she went by herself. she had kids so it was hard to get out, and her friends didn't always have free time at the same time. it was nice to have someone to disect the movie with, and i really do love my ability to talk to strangers.
as i left the cinema i was so high on the fact that i went to see a movie with myself i wanted to share this feeling with those i loved. i also got a message from a certain boy that apparently he thought about me a lot when i wasn't arond, which decided me somewhat on the clubbing thing.
so i walked down lygon st, still bouncing with pride bc i saw a movie by myself, a big deal to me even if noone else.
on the way, one of the guys at totos who always recognizes me even when i haven't been there for years said hi and asked what i'd been up too, and so i told him about my movie adventures, and we talked about everything from how cool it is to be alone to the effect of weed on libido. it was awesome. i really love it when i can have random encounters with guys when there is no element of them trying to hit on me.
and then, as my reward for being alone, i got to spend a lovely evening with a cute drunk boy that is in love with me ;D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7X7sZzSXYs
following my date last night, i actually had a really fantastic day with the boy i am dating, but it was a little weird as well, due to some anxiety about both jai and this new boy being at the same club, and if my going would be good, or phenomially bad.
so when all the people i could see a movie with bailed on me, i decided to go by myself. i had a shower, and dressed myself up all pretty, and somehow managed to make myself late enough that i need to get a taxi if i didn't want to miss the movie i wanted to see. the whole way there i just sat and let myself think, that was when the idea of aloneness first occured to me.
when i got the cinema, i felt a little self-concious. i told myself that no-one would know i was seeing a movie by myself, but even the fact that i was telling myself that was a sign that even to me it was weird.
the movie that i saw was at the end of it's run, so it was in one of the tiny cinemas at the nova. i slipped into a row four across, two seats away from a women who was also by herself. i wondered if she was really by herself, or if her friends were still in the bathroom. as i looked around i noticed a couple behind me, and two people on the other side of the cinema, also alone.
i considered talking to the woman, but instead set up my snacks, and waited for the previews.
the movie was pretty good at keeping my attention. i think i lasted most of it before once again wondering if i should go clubbing or not, even now that i jai told me he would no longer be there.
as the movie finished, i gave in and talked to the woman next to me. we talked about the film, and about seeing movies by yourself. she told me she'd been out with friends, and they hadn't wanted to see a movie, so she went by herself. she had kids so it was hard to get out, and her friends didn't always have free time at the same time. it was nice to have someone to disect the movie with, and i really do love my ability to talk to strangers.
as i left the cinema i was so high on the fact that i went to see a movie with myself i wanted to share this feeling with those i loved. i also got a message from a certain boy that apparently he thought about me a lot when i wasn't arond, which decided me somewhat on the clubbing thing.
so i walked down lygon st, still bouncing with pride bc i saw a movie by myself, a big deal to me even if noone else.
on the way, one of the guys at totos who always recognizes me even when i haven't been there for years said hi and asked what i'd been up too, and so i told him about my movie adventures, and we talked about everything from how cool it is to be alone to the effect of weed on libido. it was awesome. i really love it when i can have random encounters with guys when there is no element of them trying to hit on me.
and then, as my reward for being alone, i got to spend a lovely evening with a cute drunk boy that is in love with me ;D