Siberia Calling
Title: Siberia Calling
Rating: G
Word count: ~1300
Summary: I happened to find interesting videos on Youtube, about everyday life in Japan around the 1960s and 1970s.
That's why it is 1973, and this is the boomer!au.
Juri and his old university friends have been lucky enough to get jobs in the same office at Nintendo's product design department - and unlucky enough to have the world's worst department chief ever.
- - -
“The president has called me four times today, Tanaka. Four times!”
Juri concentrates on keeping his breathing even and gaze fixed around the department chief’s left ear.
“I understand.”
“Do you? Do you really? I expect better from my unit leaders!” the chief roars, slamming his fist on his desk hard enough that his pencil holder actually jumps. “I told you we needed the new designs by the noon today!”
The chief had said they needed the designs by the noon in Wednesday. It is Tuesday, and the finished designs are currently sitting on Juri's desk, just waiting to be delivered to the chief. Too bad the call to immediately show up in the chief's office came two minutes before he would have had time to fax them over.
Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Deep bow.
“I am sorry.”
If only Juri had managed to send the designs. On the other hand, it's probably for the best that he is here with the two newest recruits of his unit.
Next to him, Hokuto and Shintaro bow equally deep. Peeking through his eyelids Juri can see Hokuto’s hands shaking and Shintaro squeezing his fists tight enough that his knuckles are white. They all straighten up at the same time.
“And you, Matsumura! What the hell is this?” The chief shakes a bunch of paper in the air, as if he doesn’t know.
“The transcript from last Monday’s department meeting, sir.”
Hokuto’s voice is shaking as well, and Juri swallows in frustration. The chief loves the feeling of power that his underlings’ fear gives him. Juri stares through the man even harder.
“Did I or did I not tell you to send me three copies of it?”
There is a moment of silence, during which Hokuto opens his mouth, closes it again and then says, truthfully:
“You did not, sir. You told me to make two copies.”
Wrong answer. Juri grits his teeth. Inhale. Exhale.
“We need three!” the chief yells. “How many times do I have to tell you, Matsumura? How did we ever hire someone so dim-witted?”
The chief has never given Hokuto any instructions at all about the transcriptions. Juri knows that, because he briefed Hokuto to the work himself. Granted, he did tell Hokuto to always make three copies of any meeting transcripts, but the guy can’t really be blamed for prioritizing the department chief’s command over his.
“I am very sorry, sir,” Hokuto says, and the chief smiles coldly. That asshole is actually enjoying this.
Six months. They’ll only have to deal with this for another six months, until the department chief will retire.
“As you should be. Don’t forget you still have a month of probationary period left. I expect visible progress in your performance if you want to stay. The third transcript had better be on my desk well before I leave the office today!” Hokuto bows silently.
Next, the chief turns his eyes to Shintaro.
“Morimoto. I noticed you weren’t at your desk yesterday afternoon.”
“I went to the newcomers’ health check that I was ordered to take this week, sir.”
The chief leans forward, crossing his fingers on the desk and narrowing his eyes. “New employees’ health checks are to be taken outside office hours.”
That’s bullshit, and everyone in the room knows it. Shintaro lets out a small sound of annoyance, and Juri tries to telepathically tell him to fucking control his face, because showing any emotion will only-
“I heard interesting things from a colleague at the last meeting of department chiefs,” their chief says slowly, tasting each word like an especially pleasant treat. “Apparently your brother used to work for us, as well.”
Deep inhale. Slow exhale. At the corner of his eye Juri sees Shintaro’s whole body stiffen.
“Turns out he was unable to keep the employer’s best interests in his mind. Had to be kicked out after only a year. I’m afraid I will have to keep a very close eye on you, Morimoto. Just in case - surely you understand that.”
Shintaro stands so still, Juri can’t even see if he is breathing or not. Maybe he’s holding his breath along with his rage.
“I am sorry, sir. I won’t disappoint you,” Shintaro says. His voice is steady but it’s dripping with loathing, and they need to get out of this office now.
“I’ll take the responsibility!” Juri announces and bows deeply again. “Morimoto couldn’t have known. I must have forgotten to explain the policies concerning our health services during his briefing. I am very sorry. I will be more careful from now on!”
The chief grunts dismissively. He cannot really object to Juri wishing to take the responsibility as the leader of his unit.
“As I said, I expect better of you, Tanaka,” he grumbles, but Juri has already spoiled his fun. “Go back to work, all of you. I’m too busy to deal with you lot right now.” He grabs the handle of the phone on his desk and starts pressing numbers, completely ignoring his three subordinates.
As soon as the door to the chief's office closes behind them, Hokuto sinks down to a bench at the corridor and leans against the wall.
“Shit,” he murmurs weakly. “I was warned about him, but-” He shakes his head, apparently speechless.
Shintaro kicks the metal leg of Hokuto’s bench and throws a murderous look at the chief’s door before glancing at Juri.
“Sorry,” he says, gritting his teeth. “Didn’t want you to get in trouble because of me.”
“Don’t worry about that,” Juri says with grim satisfaction. “I won't be fired. I’m too good at what I do; he can’t have me walking over to Sega’s HR. Come on guys, you need coffee. My treat.”
They get cans of cold coffee from the vending machine and return to their own office. The other three unit members instantly stop working when they arrive.
“How was it?” Kochi asks. On his face there is a sympathetic grimace which reveals that he knows exactly how it was.
“He’s a monster,” Hokuto says firmly, although his words are followed by a paranoid little glance towards their closed door. “We just learned that I am a dim-witted slouch who can’t follow orders, and that Shintaro needs to be under constant watch because Ryutaro-senpai made a small mistake three years ago.”
Still irate, Shintaro slumps to his chair and crosses his arms on his chest. “That’s a low blow,” he growls.
“I know, right,” Taiga sighs from behind his own desk. “He never hesitates to pick on one’s family and private life if he can. You know, I’m just a spoiled brat of two frivolous entertainers, and too pretty to do real men’s work.”
Hokuto looks at him incredulously, and Taiga nods. “Believe it or not.”
“I’m never to be trusted, because I’m a bastard of a fucking runaway Yankee occupant,” Jesse follows up, raising one brow. “Half of which is, of course, untrue. I was born well within wedlock and my dad actually stayed in Japan.”
“I, for one, must have gotten my university diploma from a correspondence course, with how incredibly incompetent I am in everything I do,” Kochi says lightly and grins at his newest workmates. “And Juri here is an arrogant brat who doesn’t know when to shut up and how to pay due respect to his seniors.”
Hokuto and Shintaro shake their heads, as if they can hardly believe the lengths their chief can go. They will get used to it, eventually. Everyone has to.
“Six months,” Juri reminds his unit. “We’ll only have to deal with him for half a year.”
“Happy fucking retirement,” Shintaro murmurs darkly. “Maybe we should buy him a goodbye present? You know, something like a holiday trip to the beautiful tundra of Soviet Siberia.”
“I’ll chip in once I’ve faxed him the third transcription,” Hokuto promises. “As long as we’re buying a one-way ticket.”
- - -