- - -
The day had been pure torture, Kitayama thought as he lay on the bed in the evening. The awkward atmosphere had gone on even after showering and continued the whole day. Once he had gotten the first picture of Nikaido in his mind, there came more. He knew he should have stopped before even starting but he couldn't help it. What would it feel like to touch that boy? To hold him and maybe kiss him? Did he have a girlfriend? Kitayama felt a fierce rush of jealousy as he thought of Nikaido with someone else.
He could have easily walked through the room and pressed Nikaido against the wall. He didn't, though. He still had some of his common sense left and the boy was probably stronger than him these days. He would definitely lose if Nikaido fought back. Besides, the most important thing at the moment was to try to fix the friendship they had once had, and Kitayama didn't want to make everything even worse by doing something stupid now.
"Er... Nika," he said, taking a deep breath and praying he could find the right words and not make the younger one angry again.
"What?" Nikaido asked when the brown haired man didn't go on.
"I... Well. I was wondering... You and the others. Do you... do you still stick together?"
"I live with Kenpi, Tama and Miyata, if that's what you mean," Nikaido answered shortly.
"Oh." Kitayama made a small sound, feeling relieved. At least the kids were okay. Though of course they weren't actually kids anymore, he corrected his own thoughts.
"It's been quiet here after... after you left," he then said and Nikaido gave a bitter laughter.
"As if it would ever be quiet in a place where Fujigaya Taisuke is around."
"You know what I mean," Kitayama sighed and it seemed like the younger one nodded a bit, though he wasn't completely sure about that.
"Anyway, I just... You guys were always... I mean that, well... I've missed you."
Nikaido had been avoiding looking straight at him the whole time he had been there. But now, for a moment, their eyes met.
"About what happened that night," Kitayama then said hesitating, "I'm --"
"There's nothing to talk about," the younger one hissed, but Kitayama didn't give up. He had to do this now.
"Look, I just want to sort this out okay? I want you to know I'm sorry. I know he would have stayed if I had told him to. And I wouldn't have allowed him to go - not alone at least - if I had known what he was going to do. He didn't tell me and I just trusted him. It didn't even come to my mind, not once that he was going to fight with someone. I tried to save him. And I'm sorry I couldn't. He was important to me too, you know."
Nikaido stayed quiet and just stared at the blanket on his lap. He didn't know what to say.
He knew Kitayama was telling him the truth. Somehow he had always known it. Iida's death had never really been Kitayama's fault. It was no one's fault. He had known it all the time and still he had blamed Kitayama. That time, Nikaido had been an inconsiderate teenager and needed a culprit to focus his anger and sadness on. Since there had been no one to blame he had put the entire fault to their leader. He had been so stupid.
"..ry," he mumbled, refusing to look at Kitayama and the older one raised his brows.
"Huh?"
"I said I'm sorry." Nikaido grit his teeth and tried to breathe normally. He didn't know anything else to say. He had said horrible things and felt like crying but he didn't want to act like a silly little cry baby in front of Kitayama. He hadn't cried even after Iida's death. That time he had just yelled and thrown things around the deserted construction site.
"It's okay."
Nikaido couldn't believe his ears. Did Kitayama really mean it?
"I'm sure Kyohei wouldn't have wanted us all to hate each others like this," Kitayama said quietly and smiled, though Nikaido heard the bittersweet tone in his voice.
"Yeah. You're right, Kitamitsu."
Hearing his old nickname Kitayama knew Nikaido had at last forgiven him and for the first time in years he was so happy that he felt physically warm.
Despite the fact that he was smiling, Nikaido didn't look the same, though, as he coughed again like he had done the whole day.
"Just come here under the blanket before you'll catch pneumonia or something," Kitayama frowned, shaking his head and moving closer to the wall to make room for Nikaido, "Sleeping on the freezing cellar floor when it's the coldest October in living memory... You're still the most stubborn idiot I've ever known!"
-
It was storming outside. Kitayama could hear the droplets of water pattering against the windowsill and the cold wind whistling through the old jambs. He also heard a small dripping voice somewhere - some corner of their prison was probably leaking but he didn't care. It was nice and warm under the blanket, especially now that he didn't need to warm the whole bed alone.
Nikaido was breathing steadily, lying still and gripping the corner of the blanket in his hand. Kitayama smiled as he watched the sleeping boy. Now when his face was relaxed, Kitayama could see again the features of a tiny kid he had once saved. It had been so many years ago... He wondered if Nikaido and the others would some day come back. Fujigaya and Yokoo never said anything but Kitayama knew that they also missed the younger ones.
Kitayama laid there for a moment, just staring at the square spot of light that a street lamp somewhere outside illuminated on the ceiling. Then he glanced at Nikaido and he remembered his earlier thoughts again. He didn't know exactly why he thought this kind of things about the boy since as far as he knew he wasn't in love with Nikaido. It didn't stop him from thinking. And the thought of kissing the boy made him curious. He wanted to know what Nikaido felt like and shushed away the tiny mental voice that told him there wouldn't be any difference compared to any other person.
Carefully, slowly Kitayama turned towards Nikaido and sat up a bit so that he could keep himself in balance above the boy, leaning on his own arm. He watched the younger one and wondered silently if he was maybe going mad. What the hell was he doing? Kitayama closed his eyes and leaned a bit closer but at the last moment he stopped. He couldn't.
The corners of Nikaido's lips twisted naturally upward and made him look like he was pouting slightly. He was so unbearably cute like that. Kitayama tried to lean closer again but he still hesitated. This was stupid. Dangerous and stupid. What if --
"Are you going to do it or not?"
Pure dismay muted Kitayama completely as he realized that Nikaido was awake and staring straight at him, observing him carefully. He didn't look angry, though.
"I...well, I thought..." Kitayama stammered and the younger one snorted.
"You're so pitiful," Nikaido said, wrapped his arms around the older one's neck and pulled him down into a kiss.
Kitayama didn't know what was going on but he decided to not to care. Instead he buried his own fingers in the younger one's black hair and kissed him back.
After a while he withdrew a bit and looked at Nikaido.
"Why are you doing this?" he asked.
"It was you who started it and woke me up," Nikaido reminded, grinning. "I don't know," he then admitted and added quickly: "I mean, I don't have a crush on you or anything."
"Me neither," Kitayama said quietly. "I wouldn't mind if you had, though."
Nikaido was very happy that he, thank god, never blushed. Yet he still felt his ear tips burning a bit as he nodded.
"Y-yeah. Same here. I guess."
They were silent for a long moment until Nikaido sat up properly.
"Can I kiss you again?"
"Again? It was me who started it, remember?" Kitayama laughed but the younger one cut his laughter off with a new kiss that made him able to do nothing else but wrap his arms around his waist and melt into the kiss.
"But it was me who kissed you first, since you were being a coward and hesitating," Nikaido whispered against Kitayama's lips and Kitayama knew he was right even though he'd never admit that to the younger boy.
It was pretty nice to sleep next to Nikaido, he thought later when he was just about to fall asleep. The boy's arms felt good and warm around him and he could still feel the faint scent of the shampoo in Nikaido's hair. He really, really wouldn't have minded getting a small crush on this annoying and bratty, yet funny and cute boy.
-
Kitayama frowned. He had seen a nice dream until it was disturbed by an irritating knocking voice.
Knock, knock, and knock.
And again. What the hell made the voice? The storm had faded and left only soft raindrops behind. But it definitely wasn't rain that kept making the noise.
He sat up and smiled a bit as he felt the still sleeping Nikaido's grip tighten on his wrist. He tried to look around in the dark room but saw nothing - until he noticed a pale, staring face in the window. For a second he felt like screaming but then he realized the familiar features of the face.
"Taisuke," he whispered and blinked, "how did you find me?" Of course the other man couldn't hear him but he beckoned him to be quiet and wait. Then he turned away and Kitayama was alone again.
Fujigaya took his time and Kitayama started to believe he hadn't even really woken up, but was still sleeping. Dreaming of his friends. There was no way Fujigaya and Yokoo could have found him here.
As he was just going to lie back down, there happened many things very fast, consecutively.
First, Nikaido sat slowly up.
"What is it, Mitsu? Why aren't you sleeping?" he mumbled still half asleep. At the same moment there was a huge crash and hundreds of pieces of glass came scattering down on the floor.
"Senga, you idiot are you trying to wake up the whole fucking city?!"
"What? Senga? Kenpi?" Nikaido asked, suddenly fully awake.
"Stop complaining, it's the fastest way!" Kitayama knew Senga's annoyed voice even though it had lowered much after he had heard it the last time.
"Fastest?! Does your only tiny brain cell of common sense not tell you that--" Fujigaya's scolding was cut by another shout.
"Totsuka! Tsukada, here, quickly! There's someone out there, I heard a voice! Hashimoto go and check the street rats stay downstairs!"
"See? You woke them up! Move away, idiot!"
Kitayama tried hard to understand everything that was happening as Fujigaya's face appeared again by the small window.
"Get out of there, Kitayama! Climb on the table and hurry up! Now!"
The older one nodded and was just about to obey when that kid called Hashimoto rushed to their door. Kitayama was sure that even though he was shorter, he still was stronger than the brown haired boy - he could easily hit him unconscious and escape. He moved closer to the boy but flinched when Hashimoto raised a shiny black gun.
"Don't you dare to move," the boy grunted, gritting his teeth. All three men froze immediately.
"Put the gun down, Hasshi."
Kitayama turned his head surprised. Nikaido actually knew this kid?
"Who are you to tell me what to do?" Hashimoto hissed, turning to the black haired boy.
-
"For people like us the first mistake might be the last one. Never let your guard down, Nika. Never."
For years Nikaido had lived on the streets, keeping Kitayama's words in his mind. But as he stared at the black gun aimed at him, he knew they both had failed miserably.
"Just because you saved me once you aren't authorized to tell me what I should and what I shouldn't do," Hashimoto spit, but Nikaido saw how his hand trembled.
"You don't really want to shoot us, do you?" Nikaido said, trying to sound friendly even though he was scared as hell. At the same time he tried to wave his hand behind his back as a signal for Kitayama to go already.
Kitayama clearly noticed since he stepped quickly up on the table.
"Don't move!" Hashimoto shouted and waved the gun towards Kitayama but Nikaido stepped in between. Even if he had made the last mistake - if he was going to die now after all - he could still try to help Kitayama escape.
"Put the gun down," he said again and took a step closer. Fujigaya took Kitayama's hand and tried to help his friend climb up but Kitayama shook his head. He couldn't.
"Put it away, Hasshi. You are not going to kill anyone tonight."
Nikaido saw the hesitation in the younger boy's eyes and it gave him courage. Even though Hashimoto had been given a weapon, he still wasn't a person to use it and Nikaido knew it.
"It's okay. You don't need to shoot anyone. You know, you're not one of them."
The last words were the wrong ones. Hashimoto's face turned white and his eyes were filled with bare anger.
"I'm one of them more than you ever were one of those!" he snapped and pressed the trigger.
-
"Nika!"
Kitayama felt a huge rush of fear and disbelief as he heard the shot and saw Nikaido fall down, crying out.
Hashimoto, too, looked shocked as well.
"I-I didn't-- Nikaido, I--"
"Kitayama! Just leave the kid there and come before you get killed, too!" Fujigaya yelled from the window but Kitayama was too furious to care.
"There's no way in hell I'm going to leave him like this!"
He had first thought about not caring about the danger and just taking the gun away from the brat and then grabbing Nikaido's body with him. But as Hashimoto had already dropped the weapon from his hands to the floor and didn't look like he'd be able to shoot anything anymore, Kitayama rushed right to Nikaido. He turned the boy around and realized he was still breathing - even conscious.
"Nika, can you hear me? Are you okay?" Kitayama asked, trying not to panic.
"Yeah, I am…" the boy gasped but at the same time he was holding onto his right arm tightly with his other hand and there were trails of bright red blood dripping between his fingers.
"Okay Kitayama I don't care if you want to drag the brat with you but just come already!" Fujigaya asked with desperate tone in his voice, "if you're not especially waiting for Kawai to come down here or Hashimoto to change his mind about killing you!"
"Mitsu, it's… it's okay. I… I can walk if you help me," Nikaido stammered and tried to prove his words by getting on his feet.
Kitayama helped Nikaido on the table and then, with Fujigaya's help, they both got out. When he glanced quickly behind, Hashimoto had sunk on his knees on the cellar floor. Poor boy, Kitayama thought momentarily. But then he had to turn ahead again since they weren't safe yet. Kawai's whole gang was still there - with Yokoo, Senga, Tamamori and Miyata fighting against them in the cold rain together just like they had done so many times years ago.
"Yokoo, everyone, retreat!" Fujigaya yelled to the boys on the other side of the old, wooden warehouse.
"I didn't know you five have made up," Kitayama said as he dragged Nikaido, Fujigaya helping on the other side.
"We haven't, actually. But we had a common interest since both of you were caught there. The kids couldn't find you and I couldn't get you out alone with Yokoo."
"Nika, Nika are you all right?" they could hear Senga's voice as the boy run after them with the others. He was clearly relieved to see his best friend nod.
"Where're Kawai and his guys?" Fujigaya asked strictly but then they had also Yokoo, Miyata and Tamamori running with them.
"They gave up. There's no reason for them to fight anymore since we already got Kitayama and Nikaido back," the oldest of them explained shortly and Fujigaya nodded.
"It's not going to end here. They'll try again. I'm sure about it."
-
"Ouch! Hell, that hurts!"
"Just stay still and shut up, okay? I'm trying to help you," Yokoo frowned as Nikaido kept whining and bitterly glaring at the bottle of disinfectant that stood on the table between them.
All seven young men were sitting in the construction site barrack. Kitayama looked around and felt a sting in his heart as he watched them. It was just like before. He missed it so much. If they could just fix everything back again.
The atmosphere in the room was rather awkward and Kitayama wondered if the others were thinking about the same thing as him, after all. Then, accidentally, he met Nikaido's gaze and he saw the answer to his question on the other boy's face. Kitayama closed his eyes for a moment, trying to gather courage for what he wanted to say. Then he took a deep breath and looked up at the others.
"Hey, guys. There's something we should talk about... Something important that concerns all seven of us."
He hesitated for a moment as he realized they were all watching at him. But then he saw Nikaido smiling at him and the smile made him able to go on.
"About what happened that one night...”
- - -