Original Formula Swiss Natural Muesli
Dear Uncle Toby,
I write to you with respect to the disappointing current unavailability of your Original Formula Swiss Natural Muesli, my favourite breakfast fare.
For the past three weeks I have been unable to obtain, procure, or acquire your wares for love nor money, and for that matter not fly buys bonus points or discount petrol vouchers.
Why, oh why have you discontinued supply of this delectable treat? Perhaps you have forgotten about us little people, those who know nothing about world culture and that, and who only pine for de manière petit-déjeuner.
I believe the secret to the tastiness of Original Formula Swiss Natural Muesli is the element of Switzerland. Not only are the rolled oats packed with neutrality, the packaging is also historically factual. It is from you that I learnt in the late 19th century Dr Max Bircher-Benner created this highly nutritious cereal, rich in fruit and nuts, to serve patients at his clinic. Surely Dr Bircher-Benner stands alongside other significant Swiss, such as Carl Jung (with a silent J), the Swedish Chef from the Muppets (Swiss on his mother’s side), and the guy who invented the knives (I don’t recall his name, but I’m sure he had a moustache).
As a trusted family member I would have thought your thoughts, especially over the festive season, would have been with the well-being of your extended family. Whilst I cannot recall exactly how we are related, and who exactly asked me to call you uncle in the first place, at least you didn’t make a scene at Grandma’s house this year. I trust I don’t need to remind you about last time.
Please confirm when Original Formula Swiss Natural Muesli will again be available. I fear that if a satisfactory answer does not appear forthwith, my next communiqué will be from Bern, where I shall be forced to bring this matter before the Confederated Helvetia.
Yours faithfully,
Jonathan
Ivanhoe, Victoria.
P.S Please give my regards to Aunty Maisy.
I write to you with respect to the disappointing current unavailability of your Original Formula Swiss Natural Muesli, my favourite breakfast fare.
For the past three weeks I have been unable to obtain, procure, or acquire your wares for love nor money, and for that matter not fly buys bonus points or discount petrol vouchers.
Why, oh why have you discontinued supply of this delectable treat? Perhaps you have forgotten about us little people, those who know nothing about world culture and that, and who only pine for de manière petit-déjeuner.
I believe the secret to the tastiness of Original Formula Swiss Natural Muesli is the element of Switzerland. Not only are the rolled oats packed with neutrality, the packaging is also historically factual. It is from you that I learnt in the late 19th century Dr Max Bircher-Benner created this highly nutritious cereal, rich in fruit and nuts, to serve patients at his clinic. Surely Dr Bircher-Benner stands alongside other significant Swiss, such as Carl Jung (with a silent J), the Swedish Chef from the Muppets (Swiss on his mother’s side), and the guy who invented the knives (I don’t recall his name, but I’m sure he had a moustache).
As a trusted family member I would have thought your thoughts, especially over the festive season, would have been with the well-being of your extended family. Whilst I cannot recall exactly how we are related, and who exactly asked me to call you uncle in the first place, at least you didn’t make a scene at Grandma’s house this year. I trust I don’t need to remind you about last time.
Please confirm when Original Formula Swiss Natural Muesli will again be available. I fear that if a satisfactory answer does not appear forthwith, my next communiqué will be from Bern, where I shall be forced to bring this matter before the Confederated Helvetia.
Yours faithfully,
Jonathan
Ivanhoe, Victoria.
P.S Please give my regards to Aunty Maisy.