angsty post time
i haven't been updating this very much. each day that goes by i seem to become more and more burnt out and its starting to take its tole on me mentally, physically, and emotionally. i can't wait till christmas break and hopefully i'll be able to take a few days off work and just leave sarasota for a few days. i wish i could go to california or something... just somewhere far enough that i can escape all that is in sarasota. its becoming harder to deal with some people even though i want to it just gets hard when it seems like they put you down all the time. i really need to get out of this house and get on my own, unfortunately i have to wait until a: i go to a four year university and/or b: i get a job at the film society. another thing that has been bothering me lately is my wretched luck when it comes to relationships or lack there of. i'm starting to realize that appearance seems to be everything which to me is total bullshit i dont feel like i need to dress a certain way or act a certain way to make myself more noticeable to other people. alas, most people dont feel the same way around here. it amazes me to see the lack of maturity and intelligence that most people seem to have around here. example: the other night i went to see alexander and honestly i expected a little more maturity out of the audience than to walk out and get all angry and upset just because collin had to kiss another man. granted one may not agree with it but it is a part of history and this is a HISTORICAL epic after all. also why is it, for the most part, that it is ok for two girls to kiss and most people not think twice about it or even become sexually aroused by it but when it comes time for two guys to kiss it becomes socially unacceptable. oh and when best buy tells you that your computer will be in 3 to 5 business days they are lying to you, they mean a lot longer.