no, really, thanks so much
In light of my recent weigh-in, I've been trying to cut back on how much I eat. I have bad habits - eating when I'm bored, eating when I'm sad, eating when I'm happy, eating because it tastes good... basically, eating anytime I'm not full, as opposed to when I'm hungry. (No wonder I weigh 170lbs.)
So I'm thinking baby steps, right? I'll cut back to eating three times a day, and if I get hungry in between, I can only have healthy snacks, like fruit, yogurt or a salad. I've never been on a diet of any kind, and I'm generally very bad at denying myself purely hedonistic pleasures (such as eating), so this is kind of a big thing for me. I've been doing it since Monday, and so far, I've been sticking to it. I've only snacked between meals once, and I had an apple. (I've also taken to brushing my teeth twice a day, complete with fluoride treatments but no flossing because my mouth is too crowded, but that's neither here nor there.)
When I decided all of this on Sunday, I thought to myself, 'Now, don't bother telling the family about it. That can only go badly.' I was right, of course (am I ever not?).
Yesterday, I asked my mom what was for dinner, and she waffled about it (no pun intended, truly). I prompted her by telling her that whatever was for dinner would be lunch for me, so I wanted to know if she was making anything. If not, I could make something myself. She suggested a meal, and implied that she might make it right then, at which point I asked if she couldn't wait an hour or so, because I didn't want to eat early.
(The late-night / wee hours are the most difficult for me, because there's no one being noisy and obnoxious in the kitchen to discourage me from cooking, and there's little else to do. Therefore, if I ate lunch early and got hungry later, I might be inclined to indulge. No willpower, I tell you. Some Scorpio rising I am.)
This led to my explaining my diet to her, because she wanted to know why (or more like 'since when') I didn't want to eat right then. When I explained it, she laughed at me. I tried to explain that I weighed too much, and I needed to stop eating when I was bored / not full / feeling hedonistic, and this, too, was apparently funny. Thanks for the support, Mom.
Today, Falon asked if I was hungry, probably because she wanted me to make something for us both, and I told her that I couldn't eat right then. (In retrospect, I should have just said 'no' and walked away. I'd be less moody now.) She asked why, and I successfully dodged the question once via distraction, only to have her ask again when the distraction was over. I answered her that time, saying that I was trying to cut back to eating only three times a day, instead of constantly.
She laughed as she walked away, in more of a 'yeah, right' way than the amused way my mother laughed. I almost wasn't sure what kind of sound it was (or was hoping I'd misinterpreted, maybe?), so I asked, "What?"
She said derisively over her shoulder, "Good luck with that."
It's so nice to be supported.
The thing that really gets me is that these are the same people who don't care that I'm a lesbian - my mother, who took my sexuality more seriously than my father, and Falon, who's slapped people in the face for talking trash about her 'dyke sister.' Is there some reason they can't take this seriously or support me? Jesus H. I'm not asking for gel bracelets or sponsors, here.
So I'm thinking baby steps, right? I'll cut back to eating three times a day, and if I get hungry in between, I can only have healthy snacks, like fruit, yogurt or a salad. I've never been on a diet of any kind, and I'm generally very bad at denying myself purely hedonistic pleasures (such as eating), so this is kind of a big thing for me. I've been doing it since Monday, and so far, I've been sticking to it. I've only snacked between meals once, and I had an apple. (I've also taken to brushing my teeth twice a day, complete with fluoride treatments but no flossing because my mouth is too crowded, but that's neither here nor there.)
When I decided all of this on Sunday, I thought to myself, 'Now, don't bother telling the family about it. That can only go badly.' I was right, of course (am I ever not?).
Yesterday, I asked my mom what was for dinner, and she waffled about it (no pun intended, truly). I prompted her by telling her that whatever was for dinner would be lunch for me, so I wanted to know if she was making anything. If not, I could make something myself. She suggested a meal, and implied that she might make it right then, at which point I asked if she couldn't wait an hour or so, because I didn't want to eat early.
(The late-night / wee hours are the most difficult for me, because there's no one being noisy and obnoxious in the kitchen to discourage me from cooking, and there's little else to do. Therefore, if I ate lunch early and got hungry later, I might be inclined to indulge. No willpower, I tell you. Some Scorpio rising I am.)
This led to my explaining my diet to her, because she wanted to know why (or more like 'since when') I didn't want to eat right then. When I explained it, she laughed at me. I tried to explain that I weighed too much, and I needed to stop eating when I was bored / not full / feeling hedonistic, and this, too, was apparently funny. Thanks for the support, Mom.
Today, Falon asked if I was hungry, probably because she wanted me to make something for us both, and I told her that I couldn't eat right then. (In retrospect, I should have just said 'no' and walked away. I'd be less moody now.) She asked why, and I successfully dodged the question once via distraction, only to have her ask again when the distraction was over. I answered her that time, saying that I was trying to cut back to eating only three times a day, instead of constantly.
She laughed as she walked away, in more of a 'yeah, right' way than the amused way my mother laughed. I almost wasn't sure what kind of sound it was (or was hoping I'd misinterpreted, maybe?), so I asked, "What?"
She said derisively over her shoulder, "Good luck with that."
It's so nice to be supported.
The thing that really gets me is that these are the same people who don't care that I'm a lesbian - my mother, who took my sexuality more seriously than my father, and Falon, who's slapped people in the face for talking trash about her 'dyke sister.' Is there some reason they can't take this seriously or support me? Jesus H. I'm not asking for gel bracelets or sponsors, here.