i find my lack of pants disturbing.
i imagine i must be pmsing, because i am way too upset about this. maybe it's because it's just another part of an ongoing problem, idk.
dad called me today at about four-thirty. he said, 'hey, you've got a job tonight. i'm calling you now so you can be ready to go when i get home.' my dad fields tech jobs for me, since i, y'know, never leave the house. he's also my only method of transportation, since i don't have my license yet and my car is still coming into working condition. (slowly but surely, that.) i said, 'cool, okay.' i wasn't too happy about the surprise job -- i usually like to have advance warning, so i can put off any plans ahead of time, but whatever. not a big deal.
what was a big deal was getting ready. i went to put on some pants. that is, my singular pair of wearable pants. i only own one pair of pants that i can wear; all the others either won't go on or won't stay on, whichever. anyway, the problem with my one pair of pants is that they are decidedly unsuitable for presentation to a client. they're ripped so badly that i have to wear leggings or pj pants underneath for dignity's sake, and they're covered in grease stains, grass stains and sap, because, being my only pair of pants, they're the pants i wear to work on the car and in the yard.
i have no pants. and just to cover all the bases, i own no skirts or shorts and there is no one in the house my size.
the worst part is that my parents seem to expect me to buy my own clothes these days. if they want me to get a 'real job,' which is my only other option at this point besides going to school (which i can't do because we don't have the money), i'm going to need nicer clothes. beyond the pants dilemma, i only own wifebeaters, a couple really loud dress shirts and a few trashy tshirts. if my parents want me to get an office job, as my father has expressed, i'm going to need even nicer clothes, like slacks and blouses, and a couple new pairs of shoes, since i currently have a pair of big combat boots, a worn-out pair of sneakers and a pair of pink-and-yellow crocs.
the job i have now is freelance pc work, which means no guaranteed income. they also expect me to pay for gas and insurance for my car and spaying my cat (this i planned to pay for, but on top of everything else it's ridiculous). i might be able to swing a few pairs of jeans and spaying my cat with the money i have in my pocket, but beyond that, i'm basically fucked.
i just hope that my dad's walking away earlier when i explained to him that i literally had nothing to wear to this job tonight doesn't mean that he expects me to fix it. my hands are tied.
at least dinner tonight should be good.