I'm nervous with excitement!
This is a New Year and I'm leaving it up to GOD!
I have so much inside of me right now, but nothing to let out...only tears in the eyes of the Lord. I haven't cried in front or too anyone in a long time and I feel it's needed. Tears of joy, tears of shame, tears of loneliness, tears of disappointment, but most of all tears of HOPE. Perhaps I am feeling sorry for myself? No, maybe I'm just being lazy and wish for a year much better and easier than the last 4 lol. *sigh* It's not that I'm lazy, but maaaan can you get tired when you've had a few years of neverending turmoil. Now it's time for reflection and I haven't done that in a while. I've had so many people moving in and out of my life and I the same to their's. I try not to see negative as a negative, instead I am naturally an opprtunist and see it as a learning experience (once I've served the time or the punishment of course lol) nah j/k.
Anyways, I have yet to put any of this past year in an actual story yet, but I do need to. It's been a venture and until I let it all out in my own words on paper I'm just not able to get over it. This will have to happen tonight after I focus the 420 and spike up the drink ;) that way time is of the essence and I have nowhere to be except reflecting on bitter memories...how exciting! lol Doesn't sound like it, but I've got to do it just to get it out. It's like realizing an energy that flows from my mind to this keyboard into this Journal and this is where it stays. So if it's negative...out with old and in with the NEW ENERGY!! LORD BLESS ME! I am open to you and open for anything and everything. I am not picky, racist, judgemental, stingy, selfish, greedy, or materialistic. I'm ready to live life and make things happen! Why the set backs lately my Lord when you know what my heart desires?
I have so much inside of me right now, but nothing to let out...only tears in the eyes of the Lord. I haven't cried in front or too anyone in a long time and I feel it's needed. Tears of joy, tears of shame, tears of loneliness, tears of disappointment, but most of all tears of HOPE. Perhaps I am feeling sorry for myself? No, maybe I'm just being lazy and wish for a year much better and easier than the last 4 lol. *sigh* It's not that I'm lazy, but maaaan can you get tired when you've had a few years of neverending turmoil. Now it's time for reflection and I haven't done that in a while. I've had so many people moving in and out of my life and I the same to their's. I try not to see negative as a negative, instead I am naturally an opprtunist and see it as a learning experience (once I've served the time or the punishment of course lol) nah j/k.
Anyways, I have yet to put any of this past year in an actual story yet, but I do need to. It's been a venture and until I let it all out in my own words on paper I'm just not able to get over it. This will have to happen tonight after I focus the 420 and spike up the drink ;) that way time is of the essence and I have nowhere to be except reflecting on bitter memories...how exciting! lol Doesn't sound like it, but I've got to do it just to get it out. It's like realizing an energy that flows from my mind to this keyboard into this Journal and this is where it stays. So if it's negative...out with old and in with the NEW ENERGY!! LORD BLESS ME! I am open to you and open for anything and everything. I am not picky, racist, judgemental, stingy, selfish, greedy, or materialistic. I'm ready to live life and make things happen! Why the set backs lately my Lord when you know what my heart desires?