To my dear, dear stomach.
I understand we've had misunderstandings and conflicts in the past. It's most probably my fault for neglecting you so often, so I can partially understand the attention that you crave so badly for. We are supposed to be one now, are we not?
But listen here, if you do not behave yourself in the next hour we are going to have WORDS, and not of the very nice sort either. I have spent the past two days giving you everything you have asked for, from Poh Chai Yin to medicated oil, and still you persist in sending me running to the porcelain throne, and no less than seven times in the past hour! You may remain smug in the knowledge that there is no way I can replace you without a lot of unnecessary pain and discomfort, but you forget that I am the sort who follows the principle of "IF I HAVE TO DROWN I'M TAKING YOU WITH ME."
Now, are you going to be a good little piece of human anatomy or am I going to have to drag you kicking and screaming to that Chinese doctor you hate so much?
Love,
Me
But listen here, if you do not behave yourself in the next hour we are going to have WORDS, and not of the very nice sort either. I have spent the past two days giving you everything you have asked for, from Poh Chai Yin to medicated oil, and still you persist in sending me running to the porcelain throne, and no less than seven times in the past hour! You may remain smug in the knowledge that there is no way I can replace you without a lot of unnecessary pain and discomfort, but you forget that I am the sort who follows the principle of "IF I HAVE TO DROWN I'M TAKING YOU WITH ME."
Now, are you going to be a good little piece of human anatomy or am I going to have to drag you kicking and screaming to that Chinese doctor you hate so much?
Love,
Me