Jump!

[tohosexy]

“Jump!”

Junsu and Yoochun shoved at Boa playfully, her little body tightening at every impact of their playful palms. Olivia sat on the rocky cliff, absorbing the warm twilight as she overlooked Lake Khyron in peaceful detachment, reveling in the gently sinking temperature. Dozens of stars and distant worlds, varying in size and brilliance,

Comments

[shepardlover]

kjhdsghiufhdgkjlhdfiuhkjldfkgjhkjdfgkh

*dies*

That was amazing! And like... epic! And so... I don't even know. I loved it so much. I like, went on a rant to my best friend just now about how much I love it and she's looking at me like I'm crazy. lol. Half the time I was like, "Damn it Boa, JUMP!"

And you probably know how much I love a good metaphor, and oh how metaphoric the whole situation with Boa and the Boys was of the internal battle Olivia was having with herself... Obvious metaphor is obvious, but I love it none the less.

[tohosexy]

Obvious metaphor is obvious, but I like that I never said anything like "Olivia compared her plight with Yunho with Boa's decision to jump." Because, obvious metaphor is obvious.

[shepardlover]

lol. I said that in an awkward way... It really was a compliment... :(

When I was in 10th grade, my teacher would yell at us if we picked out metaphors that were "too obvious." Like, overlying or parallel ones. And I would always say things like, "the obvious metaphor was my favorite," and then get yelled at. So the parallelism between Boa's situation and Olivia's was considered an "obvious metaphor" to her. I guess I wasn't thinking about the fact that it sounds strange if you weren't in that class... sorry.

[tohosexy]

I disagree with ur teacher. I like the obviousness of this metaphor a whole lot! It feels "clean." Like CT's beep.

And u didnt offend me or anything, if that's what u thought.

[shepardlover]

Okay... I was worried that I did. XD

She was the worst teacher I ever had. I hate that what she said stuck in my head. "Obvious Metaphors" are my favorite and because of that I almost failed her class. lol.

And I love the way Olivia actually jumped into the water too, instead of just like, going over to Yunho and talking to him. I think it showed that she needed to "jump" not just in that particular relationship, but in every aspect of her life.

[tohosexy]

I loved that too. I love the whole damn story. This cute little PG story may be my favorite of my oneshots.

[tohosexy]

Dammit my rant about this isn't over.

Your readers shouldn't have to think too hard, dammit. This isn't a game or a puzzel, it's a story. They should just enjoy the story, let it guide them. If someone can figure something out by just relaxing and gliding through the story without it being spelled out for them because it is "obvious," I think that's GOOD.

If two totally different situations parallel so seamlessly, I like it. XD

Just my opinion. Personal preference thing.

[shepardlover]

I KNOW! I spent SO MUCH time trying to make this point to her, but she would just say something like, "That's taking the easy way out. You have to dig for things in good literature. Good literature makes you think."

My response would be, "Good literature makes you think about themes and ideas with the use of simple and easily recognized literary devices."

I still wanna hit her! I'm surprised I didn't back then. lol.

[tohosexy]

*sigh* I'm with you on this. Good literature makes you think hard after you're done reading, not while you're reading.