i thought this deserved a re-posting...
i like the fact that i have no desire to talk to either of them. i really don't want to talk to them. it's finally hitting me - how incredibly mean they treated me and how i just let them do it for, oh, you, know, years and years and years. but you know what? i don't want to be that girl anymore. i don't want to pining after some guy all the time or saying "but you should hear the nice things he says to me!" after he's just used me again. i'm done with that. i'm done being that girl. it's not ok with me that he brought her over to my house. it's not ok that he will trade in our friendship for sex at the drop of a hat. it's not ok that he just uses me whenever he feels like it, because he knows that i'll always go right back to him. because i ALWAYS do. and i don't want to anymore. i don't want to talk to him, i don't want to make excuses, i don't want to feel bad or less than or not good enough anymore. and while they're wasting their lives away, finding girls who will let them use them and never stand up for themselves, i will be traveling and learning and writing and LIVING. i don't want a boyfriend. i don't want a crush. i don't want to let boys define my happiness anymore. i want to be happy because I"M happy. because I did something that makes ME happy. just because someone likes me is not a reason for me to be the happiest i've ever been. i'm going to be happy because I achieved something because I love my life because I pushed myself because I did something for me for a change. i don't need you anymore, so goodbye.