i can do most anything
i hate thinking about settling. i hate thinking about doing it for someone. i hate the idea that someone would do it to me. i hate that this would happen and i wouldn't know it, that deep down he really wants someone else so much more and i'm just a filler. i want us to want each other - i want someone who can't live without me and i without him. i don't know how to do this when i have such a problem with talking to people, expressing myself, even looking him in the eyes without getting extremely nervous or embarassed. i love the butterflies, but i hate when it overcomes me completely and i can't even say anything without analyzing every word, every sentence, every movement. i wish i could just BE without WORRYING so much. how do i stop?