fuck my life.
honestly. i hate my parents.
the only thing they ever agree on is putting me down and accusing me of fucking shit up.
what the hell. seriously.
their golden child moved out like 3 years ago.
and the kid they always blamed shit on is married and moved out too.
so of course, everything that goes wrong is automatically my fault.
both of them maybe of gotten masters degrees in whatever.
but they should never be parents.
great, you're smart. too bad your parenting skills suck ass.
there have been so many times that it would have been easier if i never existed or just died.
and they both know it cause they tell me that at least once a week.
"i wouldn't even be married to your father anymore if you weren't born. thanks for ruining the rest of my life."
really? then you should have had a goddamn abortion. cause mind you, my life isn't so peachy with both of you taking out your frustrations on me all the time.
does no parent ever think of how much they actually influence their kid?
do none of them think their kids will actually commit suicide?
or do they just think they're like. the most perfect parents in the world.
i'm just so fucking fed up with everything.
they yell at me in public and call me an embarrassment and i'm not even allowed to cry until i get home.
and i'm sitting here in my room crying and writing this. and they think that everything is fucking peachy.
why is everything always my fault.
honestly, the only things keeping me from doing something drastic are the people i do actually care about and the fact that i have the lowest pain threshold ever. and the idea that if i can't even die right, i'm going to live and be the embarrassment again.
i can't stand it.
my life is restricted. and i'm pathetic.
i'm beyond being angry.
i just don't feel like trying anymore.
because everything i do is wrong. and the only time my parents can agree is when i'm wrong.
i can't drive and get away because i can't get my license.
but it's perfectly ok for me to drive both of them everywhere they want to go because they're too damn lazy. and when i do something wrong, they verbally berate me in the car. drive your own fucking selves some time why don't you.
and i'm the burden because i can't drive? really? shut the fuck up and get real.
and i'm the selfish one. everything i do or ask is always for myself.
when we go grocery shopping, EVERYTHING is what my mom and dad wants. i add something to the cart that i want? nope. take it out. you're selfish. and you only know how to spend our money.
fuck you.
any monetary gift that YOUR friends give to ME, you get. i've gotten well over $1000 and it's gone to them.
don't give me this crap about raising me took soooo much money. i barely ever ask for anything.
and everything i buy is with my own money that i actually got to keep.
so shut your mouths and get out of my face.
i'm sorry i'm not getting to the journal entry i promised today...
i'm just too messed up to be bright about it.