this is me half of the time, when im home alone. yeah ya! sweet loo what chu dooo-ing!
my mom<3333
so, yes im doing better, one day at a time. last week was a bit low for me. i semi disconnected myself from people. and one nite, i really havent cried; its been such along time. well i did. and i wrote to my cousin linda; from mexico. and it was kind of a slap in the face. which was good because i kind of needed one. i really dont tell people what im thinking. till i cant handle it. my moms boyfriend says that i pretend to be a strong person. but its like he says, " you could fake it, 'till you make it" so while i fake it i will make it. school, i need to study more. and stop procrastinating!!!!!!!! under line that!!!
so valentine is tomorrow, ahhaahha people are so cute and funny. yes im going to spend it alone. i really dont care for holidays anyways. chheeers cheers. its pretty sad how people choose one day to be romantic for their partner.
i been sober since march 1, 2007. and i killed it. i smoked like 3 weeks ago. i just wanted to smoke one more time. and then it was last week. and 3 days ago. and i came to the conclusion that during this time that i was sober, was such an enlightment for me, why am i going to ruin every effort and dramma i conquer. im wayyyyyyyy better then that, and i know better then to go back!
eh if i do smoke again. i think it would just be to relaxe or when i accomplish things. i guess i used my schoool as an excuse. once i start working in clincs, hopefully in a hospital. they will drug test me like every sec of my life, haha no, not really just randomly so i think what i was trying to say is 'till then i guess its okay, once in a while. hahahahahahah
whatever i think im making a big deal to something that isnt. its not like im going back to the same fuckn whole i was in a year ago. cause im not!!!!!!!!! im a wayyyyy different person from last year or the pass years then righ tnowjfskld
love love lovel ovelvoevleovoevlevoevle
because the world is round it turns me on
because the sky is so high it blows my mind