Syuusuke is twelve years old when he meets the love of his life, and Yumiko knows it well before he does. Because there are some things written deep within the cards that you can only pick out when you know someone that intimately. Up until now these insights have all been aimed at herself, and cause for dismay on the most part. She has not shared them with anyone. She does not think they will believe, anyway.
She knows; though not by the cards, but by his nature, that Syuusuke will not make a move for sometime yet. He likes his games and his subtlties, likes taking things slowly. She still has time.
She does not wish to let go of her first little brother, not just yet. There are too many memories of brushing knots out of the hair he always liked to keep to the length of just around his neck, of unceremoniously dumping him into a bath he did not want, of helping him with his homework when he first started school and was too interested in what the others were doing to pay attention to his homework.
And some less childish, innocent memories. One particular memory stands out to her; one night when she had not awoken to the soft but constant tapping upon her door, and Syuusuke had invited himself into her room, shaken her shoulder to wake her up. With eyes wide and uncomprehending he had told her about the stained sheets, no embarrassment around nee-san, and Yumiko had snuck them into the machine for him and changed the bed, teaching him how to do so for himself at the same time. She chided her mother silently for not showing her brothers how to do simple chores sooner, but was grateful at the same time that it was something else secret to share.
Time is running out, she reminds herself as Syuusuke turns fourteen. One day soon he is going to realise the importance of his muted feelings, and find a way to act upon them. He still relies on her, does not question why she lives at home still, why she does not hold down a relationship for longer than a few months. He has never thought to ask her what she thinks of marriage, or having a family of her own. But she wants to tell him.
"Syuusuke," she says softly, stepping into the family room and locking the door behind her. No-one else is home, but she will take no chances. "There are things I want you to know..."
He is alert; a willing student who has so quickly learnt to understand what is not spoken. She loves that he is undeterred by this; that she is so much older, that she is his sister, that she is female since she knows his attention will be firmly fixated on men, on one man, in the future. As she begins to unbutton her shirt, his fingers join hers. They are not so confidant, but why should they be when she is trying to teach him what he does not know.
His face is curious and confused all at once. She smiles down on him as his hands try to fit around her breasts and thinks, if she had been just any old girl, he probably would have been disgusted at the thought of doing this. It is because they are blood that he can trust.
She undresses him herself when he makes no move to do so; he is preoccupied, wide-eyed like she has never seen him before, does not go to lengths to explain the ways and means of pleasing a woman with his mouth, his fingers. It will be no use to him, and she will not come away from this feeling unsatisfied for a lack of foreplay. She will simply make her one lesson count.
"Shouldn't we..." Syuusuke pauses, searching for the right words. "I'm sure we should be using some kind of protection?"
Yumiko smiles, because she does not want to cry. "I have nothing you can catch," she says simply. "And you have nothing I can catch."
"That's not all people protect from." Syuusuke points out, bites his lip in a way Yumiko has never seen before. It was coming, right from the start she knew she would have to tell him, wanted to split the burden with someone and be selfish for once in her life. Seeing him so open to her like this breaks the dam for good, and her tears are bitter on her tongue as she admits the secret the cards have been holding for her for years.
Poor Yumiko. :/ I feel so bad for her, with that last line, and there's such an air about the piece that is melancholic. Holding on to her brothers because she can't have kids herself. It's kind of twisted but it just fits so well.
Her showing Fuji things is definitely interesting! ;) I want more of this!
Syuusuke is twelve years old when he meets the love of his life, and Yumiko knows it well before he does. Because there are some things written deep within the cards that you can only pick out when you know someone that intimately. Up until now these insights have all been aimed at herself, and cause for dismay on the most part. She has not shared them with anyone. She does not think they will believe, anyway.
She knows; though not by the cards, but by his nature, that Syuusuke will not make a move for sometime yet. He likes his games and his subtlties, likes taking things slowly. She still has time.
She does not wish to let go of her first little brother, not just yet. There are too many memories of brushing knots out of the hair he always liked to keep to the length of just around his neck, of unceremoniously dumping him into a bath he did not want, of helping him with his homework when he first started school and was too interested in what the others were doing to pay attention to his homework.
And some less childish, innocent memories. One particular memory stands out to her; one night when she had not awoken to the soft but constant tapping upon her door, and Syuusuke had invited himself into her room, shaken her shoulder to wake her up. With eyes wide and uncomprehending he had told her about the stained sheets, no embarrassment around nee-san, and Yumiko had snuck them into the machine for him and changed the bed, teaching him how to do so for himself at the same time. She chided her mother silently for not showing her brothers how to do simple chores sooner, but was grateful at the same time that it was something else secret to share.
Time is running out, she reminds herself as Syuusuke turns fourteen. One day soon he is going to realise the importance of his muted feelings, and find a way to act upon them. He still relies on her, does not question why she lives at home still, why she does not hold down a relationship for longer than a few months. He has never thought to ask her what she thinks of marriage, or having a family of her own. But she wants to tell him.
"Syuusuke," she says softly, stepping into the family room and locking the door behind her. No-one else is home, but she will take no chances. "There are things I want you to know..."
He is alert; a willing student who has so quickly learnt to understand what is not spoken. She loves that he is undeterred by this; that she is so much older, that she is his sister, that she is female since she knows his attention will be firmly fixated on men, on one man, in the future. As she begins to unbutton her shirt, his fingers join hers. They are not so confidant, but why should they be when she is trying to teach him what he does not know.
His face is curious and confused all at once. She smiles down on him as his hands try to fit around her breasts and thinks, if she had been just any old girl, he probably would have been disgusted at the thought of doing this. It is because they are blood that he can trust.
She undresses him herself when he makes no move to do so; he is preoccupied, wide-eyed like she has never seen him before, does not go to lengths to explain the ways and means of pleasing a woman with his mouth, his fingers. It will be no use to him, and she will not come away from this feeling unsatisfied for a lack of foreplay. She will simply make her one lesson count.
"Shouldn't we..." Syuusuke pauses, searching for the right words. "I'm sure we should be using some kind of protection?"
Yumiko smiles, because she does not want to cry. "I have nothing you can catch," she says simply. "And you have nothing I can catch."
"That's not all people protect from." Syuusuke points out, bites his lip in a way Yumiko has never seen before. It was coming, right from the start she knew she would have to tell him, wanted to split the burden with someone and be selfish for once in her life. Seeing him so open to her like this breaks the dam for good, and her tears are bitter on her tongue as she admits the secret the cards have been holding for her for years.
"No mind, Syuusuke. I can't have children."
-
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Her showing Fuji things is definitely interesting! ;) I want more of this!
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