Your Genes Make Her Face Look Fat
Is there some kind of law stating that if you have a baby you must bring it into work and show it off to a bunch of guys who really don't give a shit?
Some dude's wife showed up at work the other day with their newborn baby. I guess she felt it was important for her husband's co-workers to know that his dick still works, or something. Regardless of the reason, the baby was in the building. Everybody offered up a big ol' plate of fake flattery... and then she showed the baby to me. Of course the first words out of my mouth were "You do alot of drugs the last 9 months?"
Apparently, women don't like to hear that they gave birth to an ugly baby. But the thing was REALLY fucking ugly and I just couldn't contain myself. Maybe the dude's sperm hit a scrambled egg, or maybe she had an affair with a retarded orangutan... whatever happened, I swear I thought the little fucker was upside down when she first showed it to me. Now I'm an asshole for opening up my big mouth. But she's nobody anyway, so who cares?
The bottom line is: Have better looking kids and no one will get their feelings hurt. That, or just stay the hell away from me.
On the bright side, I'm sure little baby Fugly will grow up to have a wonderful personality. Best of luck, Fug. You're gonna need it.