Cupid Knows Better Than To Point That Thing At Me
Cracking open my wallet just to do something special for Valentine's Day is like hiring a mime to entertain a bunch of blind kids. It's a waste of money. But if I totally ignore the upcoming "holiday?", I'll end up one dick short of having a dick when my ol' lady chops it off in my sleep.
I can probably get away without spending too much money as long as I come up with something interesting and unusual to do. I was thinking about taking her wheelchair tipping (which is like cow tipping except a little more strategic and alot more fun). Unfortunately, she has a bit of a soft spot for the handicapped and, therefore, probably wouldn't enjoy it as much as I do. Other than that, I have no other really good ideas. Maybe I can just make a couple of sandwiches and pretend like I put together an intimate picnic on our dining room table. I don't know.
Regardless of what I come up with, it won't be good enough anyway. Stupid's already scheduled me for surgery so that I can have a romantic bone implanted in my body (I wonder if my insurance covers that). So her expectations are probably pretty low as it is which, hopefully, will work in my favor.
I can probably get away without spending too much money as long as I come up with something interesting and unusual to do. I was thinking about taking her wheelchair tipping (which is like cow tipping except a little more strategic and alot more fun). Unfortunately, she has a bit of a soft spot for the handicapped and, therefore, probably wouldn't enjoy it as much as I do. Other than that, I have no other really good ideas. Maybe I can just make a couple of sandwiches and pretend like I put together an intimate picnic on our dining room table. I don't know.
Regardless of what I come up with, it won't be good enough anyway. Stupid's already scheduled me for surgery so that I can have a romantic bone implanted in my body (I wonder if my insurance covers that). So her expectations are probably pretty low as it is which, hopefully, will work in my favor.