Death
The past 36 hours have been so very taxing on my family and myself. Death is something I have dealt with in the past but not quite so close together.
Monday night, Richard and I were in the Animal ER until 4am with Winstead. We heard him coughing something up around midnight (which he does every so often) and found him curled up next to the bathtub refusing to get up. He had howled something awful right after I came in to check on him. I could hear his pain and fear. So we rushed him to the animal er, which we are so lucky to have close by, and got him checked up. They placed him in an oxygen cage that helped him breathe and calmed him down. The x-rays showed us his enlarged heart and all the fluid that was in his lungs. The entire side of his heart was pressed against his ribs! The vet explained how hard it can be to detect heart disease in cats and usually one of the only ways is by x-ray. Even if we had caught this months ago, it was only a matter of time.
We went home around 4am to attempt to get some sleep. I came back around 6 only to find that Winstead's condition had worsened. He was panting and having multiple stokes which was throwing blood clots to his front paws and brain. This was when I knew we were going to have to say goodbye. Richard came soon after and we had some time with Winstead before we decided to put him to sleep. It was one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make. He was in shock and in so much pain that there was nothing else we could do. We were heartbroken.
We stayed by his side when the injections were given and even for a bit afterwards. Saying goodbye is never easy, especially when it is unexpected. I haven't cried so much in years.
We decided to bury him in the backyard, right by his favorite window to look out of. We let Slinky sniff him before we buried him but I'm not sure she knew it was him. We felt that was the right thing to do. It is so hard to let go but it was time. To make me feel better, I put his collar on my key-chain to remind me of him. It helps.
Burying him gave some form of closure but it still stings. We will miss you, Mr. Winstead.
I woke up this morning feeling a bit better, only to get a call from my mother that my Grandmother had passed this morning. So my day went from ok right back to the way I felt yesterday. We knew this was coming but it still sucks. Saturday a week ago, I flew out to visit her because she was has congestive heart failure. It was only a matter of time, but things got worse rather quickly. So I flew up for 36 hours or so only to have her resuscitate herself and start chatting again! It was rather traumatic to see her heart stop, especially when we thought we had lost her. Within 5-10 minutes, she was sitting up and talking to us again. We joked a bit (to lighten the mood!) that grandma had nine lives!
It was so nice to have nearly all of the extended family there: my two aunts, my uncle, my five cousins, and my folks. The overwhelming support from the hospital staff was amazing. They were a great bunch of nurses and doctors who were doing all they could to make her and us comfortable. I managed to get some time with Grandma and held her hand for an hour or so. It really sunk in around that point.
Saying goodbye when I had to fly home was hard. I knew it was most likely going to be the last time I saw her alive and it was eating me up inside that I couldn't stay longer. I really didn't want to leave. Once I got back home, the whole weekend felt surreal. We just had to wait and see how much longer she would last.
So to say that Grandma's death was a total shock would be a lie. We knew this was coming but it certainly doesn't make it any easier to deal with.
My grandmother, Evelyn, was a fantastic woman. She never complained and always took care of everyone in the family. She was the sort of woman I want to be; loving, caring, generous, faithful, God-fearing, and always truthful. The entire family will miss her, but I will miss all of the wonderful moments I had with her while I was in Cincinnati. She was so wonderful.
I am so exhausted emotionally and physically from all of this. To say I am tired is an understatement. This sucks.
I pray that God will heal Richard and I and our family during this tough time. We need all of thoughts and prayers we can get.
Monday night, Richard and I were in the Animal ER until 4am with Winstead. We heard him coughing something up around midnight (which he does every so often) and found him curled up next to the bathtub refusing to get up. He had howled something awful right after I came in to check on him. I could hear his pain and fear. So we rushed him to the animal er, which we are so lucky to have close by, and got him checked up. They placed him in an oxygen cage that helped him breathe and calmed him down. The x-rays showed us his enlarged heart and all the fluid that was in his lungs. The entire side of his heart was pressed against his ribs! The vet explained how hard it can be to detect heart disease in cats and usually one of the only ways is by x-ray. Even if we had caught this months ago, it was only a matter of time.
We went home around 4am to attempt to get some sleep. I came back around 6 only to find that Winstead's condition had worsened. He was panting and having multiple stokes which was throwing blood clots to his front paws and brain. This was when I knew we were going to have to say goodbye. Richard came soon after and we had some time with Winstead before we decided to put him to sleep. It was one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make. He was in shock and in so much pain that there was nothing else we could do. We were heartbroken.
We stayed by his side when the injections were given and even for a bit afterwards. Saying goodbye is never easy, especially when it is unexpected. I haven't cried so much in years.
We decided to bury him in the backyard, right by his favorite window to look out of. We let Slinky sniff him before we buried him but I'm not sure she knew it was him. We felt that was the right thing to do. It is so hard to let go but it was time. To make me feel better, I put his collar on my key-chain to remind me of him. It helps.
Burying him gave some form of closure but it still stings. We will miss you, Mr. Winstead.
I woke up this morning feeling a bit better, only to get a call from my mother that my Grandmother had passed this morning. So my day went from ok right back to the way I felt yesterday. We knew this was coming but it still sucks. Saturday a week ago, I flew out to visit her because she was has congestive heart failure. It was only a matter of time, but things got worse rather quickly. So I flew up for 36 hours or so only to have her resuscitate herself and start chatting again! It was rather traumatic to see her heart stop, especially when we thought we had lost her. Within 5-10 minutes, she was sitting up and talking to us again. We joked a bit (to lighten the mood!) that grandma had nine lives!
It was so nice to have nearly all of the extended family there: my two aunts, my uncle, my five cousins, and my folks. The overwhelming support from the hospital staff was amazing. They were a great bunch of nurses and doctors who were doing all they could to make her and us comfortable. I managed to get some time with Grandma and held her hand for an hour or so. It really sunk in around that point.
Saying goodbye when I had to fly home was hard. I knew it was most likely going to be the last time I saw her alive and it was eating me up inside that I couldn't stay longer. I really didn't want to leave. Once I got back home, the whole weekend felt surreal. We just had to wait and see how much longer she would last.
So to say that Grandma's death was a total shock would be a lie. We knew this was coming but it certainly doesn't make it any easier to deal with.
My grandmother, Evelyn, was a fantastic woman. She never complained and always took care of everyone in the family. She was the sort of woman I want to be; loving, caring, generous, faithful, God-fearing, and always truthful. The entire family will miss her, but I will miss all of the wonderful moments I had with her while I was in Cincinnati. She was so wonderful.
I am so exhausted emotionally and physically from all of this. To say I am tired is an understatement. This sucks.
I pray that God will heal Richard and I and our family during this tough time. We need all of thoughts and prayers we can get.