For those of you whom are wondering: yes, I am alright.
First of all, I came to write that I'm sorry. All those things I wrote, I did it out of anger and desperation, oh and drunkeness. I didn't mean it. She doesn't use people and I know she doesn't enjoy this. I also know she doesn't hurt as much as I do. First I want to say that it is over between Kensey and I and that I don't want to hear about it. I will not pout and bitch and whine and blah blah blah. I figured this out, it just wouldn't of worked out. We are just too different. We don't agree, we can't agree, and I think it's better anyways. Neither of us were happy. It's important to get what you're looking for and what you need in a relationship. As much as she didn't get it, neither did I. But I will say this, I don't understand. Maybe someday I'll get it but not now. I haven't broken down, I haven't even cried. I feel just numb about the whole thing. But what I wonder is "where do I go now?" Do I go back to my old ways or move in different direction. I'm thinking of moving forward. My computer comes back to me in like a week so I can start writing. Maybe this is good influence for a love-lost sort of film? I will play guitar more and pick up piano over the summer. You know, I tried, I really did but it just wasn't what she needed. I still don't know what she needs. I guess I didn't put up a fight either. I didn't really see the need in graveling. I'm not that weak. Maybe I should do that face the jury bullshit? I don't know, I think I can find someone on my own. Or maybe I'll just let things happen as they come. Although, I must say that the way things were handled were very wrong. And for those of you who are her supporters, don't come on here, trashing me with silly comments because I don't give a shit. What I really want is to be left alone. Leave me alone alright? That goes for most of you. I really need to get out of this shithole, start something new, think on my own. Things will clear up for me and I will begin to organize myself in a way I never had before.