update
well, it's been a while again. i'm recovering from my latest procedure in which i had a shunt placed in my head to drain excess fluid that was frequently building up, causing me major headaches and nausea. the procedure required general anesthesia. they drilled a small hole into my skull and placed the tiny shunt (basically a drain) inside my head, right up against my brain. then they threaded a small tube down the rest of my body, just under my skin, where it ends up in my belly, where the fluid drains to. i woke up with pain and the inability to lift up my left arm. i was told it was nerve damage and it would repair itself within a week. well, it's been over a week a think (i've been having some confusion about what day it is and i forget when things happened in the past) and it's still not like it used to be. my arm is very weak and i find myself lifting it with my right arm to get it moving. i have been doing some exercises from my PT but i only notice a slight improvement so far.
in order to allow the arm a full chance to recover, they took me off a muscle relaxant i'd been taking to prevent spasms and it was also helping with seizures. if i did have a seizure, with the muscle relaxants, i tended not to spasm so hard, and it made the seizure recovery a lot easier. so now that i've been off them, i've been having leg cramps and tightening in my back, and i find myself clenching my fists while i sleep. i already sleep with a night guard in my mouth because i clench my jaw and i was ruining my teeth. the fist clenching is leading to another problem... wrist pain. years ago i broke my right wrist when i fell down an outdoor staircase. i've had two surgeries and about 6 cortisone injections in it. every now and then, i'll get a twinge of numbness in my fingers, or a bout of sharp pain. lately though, the pain has been constant, and i'm sure it's because of the fist clenching because i've been off the muscle relaxants.
my other problem is my blood pressure keeps mysteriously dropping, causing bad dizziness. it's especially bad when i go from sitting to standing. i usually have to hold onto something for like 10 seconds before i can start walking. it also happens if i go from lying down to sitting up in bed. it's very frustrating and makes me feel very.... unwell.
now that we bought our smaller apartment and we got rid of a lot of stuff, i'm considering leaving my job and going on disability. i'm pretty sure i qualify, and it would be nice not to have the stress and weight of work on me every day. i've taken more time off than i planned, and i know my boss is not happy. he's already taken a bunch of projects away from me and he has hired other people to oversee the people i was supposed to oversee. i feel like i'm slowly being pushed out of the firm in some kind of sneaky "we want you out but we don't want you to sue us" type of way. disability would allow me to still get some money while recovering. i think i could use a good 6 months of rest and PT before i'd feel like working full time again.
my only ray of hope in all of this is arthur. he's at work during the day, but he took a couple days off for my procedure and he left work early on my discharge day to bring me home. he is a constant source of comfort and love, and i'm very lucky to have him. if it weren't for him, i sadly would've had to move back in with my parents because i need someone to be with me. he never complains when i wake him up at 2am with a muscle cramp or nausea... or sometimes i wake up from a dream and i'm confused and i try to get dressed because i think it's morning when it's not. he makes me breakfast and makes sure i take the right meds before he leaves in the morning.
i really miss going to his family house in CT. i haven't been able to travel and we missed some good holiday parties up there this summer already. i'm hoping we'll be able to go up there in august or maybe for labor day. i can't believe the summer is already half over...
well, this post has exhausted me. back to bed for now.
in order to allow the arm a full chance to recover, they took me off a muscle relaxant i'd been taking to prevent spasms and it was also helping with seizures. if i did have a seizure, with the muscle relaxants, i tended not to spasm so hard, and it made the seizure recovery a lot easier. so now that i've been off them, i've been having leg cramps and tightening in my back, and i find myself clenching my fists while i sleep. i already sleep with a night guard in my mouth because i clench my jaw and i was ruining my teeth. the fist clenching is leading to another problem... wrist pain. years ago i broke my right wrist when i fell down an outdoor staircase. i've had two surgeries and about 6 cortisone injections in it. every now and then, i'll get a twinge of numbness in my fingers, or a bout of sharp pain. lately though, the pain has been constant, and i'm sure it's because of the fist clenching because i've been off the muscle relaxants.
my other problem is my blood pressure keeps mysteriously dropping, causing bad dizziness. it's especially bad when i go from sitting to standing. i usually have to hold onto something for like 10 seconds before i can start walking. it also happens if i go from lying down to sitting up in bed. it's very frustrating and makes me feel very.... unwell.
now that we bought our smaller apartment and we got rid of a lot of stuff, i'm considering leaving my job and going on disability. i'm pretty sure i qualify, and it would be nice not to have the stress and weight of work on me every day. i've taken more time off than i planned, and i know my boss is not happy. he's already taken a bunch of projects away from me and he has hired other people to oversee the people i was supposed to oversee. i feel like i'm slowly being pushed out of the firm in some kind of sneaky "we want you out but we don't want you to sue us" type of way. disability would allow me to still get some money while recovering. i think i could use a good 6 months of rest and PT before i'd feel like working full time again.
my only ray of hope in all of this is arthur. he's at work during the day, but he took a couple days off for my procedure and he left work early on my discharge day to bring me home. he is a constant source of comfort and love, and i'm very lucky to have him. if it weren't for him, i sadly would've had to move back in with my parents because i need someone to be with me. he never complains when i wake him up at 2am with a muscle cramp or nausea... or sometimes i wake up from a dream and i'm confused and i try to get dressed because i think it's morning when it's not. he makes me breakfast and makes sure i take the right meds before he leaves in the morning.
i really miss going to his family house in CT. i haven't been able to travel and we missed some good holiday parties up there this summer already. i'm hoping we'll be able to go up there in august or maybe for labor day. i can't believe the summer is already half over...
well, this post has exhausted me. back to bed for now.