(no subject)
I keep trying to move on. I really do. And then I see something, or I hear something, and all of the memories come piling back on me and I lose my breath and the idea that she's really gone becomes so unbearable as to be inconceivable. She is everywhere I turn. She is in my mirrors. I know this isn't healthy, or normal, especially after so long. So, what do I do? Every time I try something a little more drastic, and it doesn't work. What if moving away doesn't help? What if nothing helps? What if all the life I have left is crying about not getting the life I was promised, about finding the love of my life only to lose her permanently, irrevocably? What if whatever is wrong with my head prevents me from ever getting better? What then? What's the point, really?
And I love her and I love her and I love her. If I could just talk to her.
God help me, I think I may be done for.
And I love her and I love her and I love her. If I could just talk to her.
God help me, I think I may be done for.