Realization
After a short phone call with mom and an even shorter e-mail from Sue I realized that the time of the year has come where I will be close to shutting down, and close to tears. It always happens, it's Erica's strange way of trying to cope with her ever changing life. Until this weekend I thought I was all set, I thought maybe I would be ok, but then it hit me all at once; my allergies started acting up, I realized I had to be here 10 days longer than I want to be, and after calling Vange and telling her I wouldn't be there, I remembered how much I hate all of this.
I need to be in Belgrade washing my hair in the rain
I need Sue to walk through the door with her paw print bag, and stay way longer than intended
I need the twins to get better, and to be there for them in the mean time
I need to beat the rest of the kids in a game of monopoly
I need to have some form of income...but not enough to take me away from anything.
I need to play kick the can in the Green Street Parking lot...
I already feel like my summer is gone, and it hasn't even started. I go from Pine Tree to Camp Sunshine, have about a week of until Annual Conference and then two more weeks and Camp Sunshine...and then boom, it's July, as simple as that. There's talk of two more weeks at Mechuwana, but I may need to scrap one or both of those...who needs money after all? Little girls who need to buy books and who want to take trips to Florida in September...that's who.
You know for the first time perhaps ever I do not have anxiety about the next school year, I have a new roommate, no job and a new major...but somehow I'm not freaking out at all...perhaps it's some sort of sign that I am making the right life decisions....who knows.
Two more weeks and I'll be exactly where I need to be. In the mean time, I'll make do with what I have, and hope that God graces me with a small amount of focus to get through the rest of the semester.
I have a lot of updating I was going to do...but somehow, this all came out instead. So I guess this will have to do for now. Good night all
I need to be in Belgrade washing my hair in the rain
I need Sue to walk through the door with her paw print bag, and stay way longer than intended
I need the twins to get better, and to be there for them in the mean time
I need to beat the rest of the kids in a game of monopoly
I need to have some form of income...but not enough to take me away from anything.
I need to play kick the can in the Green Street Parking lot...
I already feel like my summer is gone, and it hasn't even started. I go from Pine Tree to Camp Sunshine, have about a week of until Annual Conference and then two more weeks and Camp Sunshine...and then boom, it's July, as simple as that. There's talk of two more weeks at Mechuwana, but I may need to scrap one or both of those...who needs money after all? Little girls who need to buy books and who want to take trips to Florida in September...that's who.
You know for the first time perhaps ever I do not have anxiety about the next school year, I have a new roommate, no job and a new major...but somehow I'm not freaking out at all...perhaps it's some sort of sign that I am making the right life decisions....who knows.
Two more weeks and I'll be exactly where I need to be. In the mean time, I'll make do with what I have, and hope that God graces me with a small amount of focus to get through the rest of the semester.
I have a lot of updating I was going to do...but somehow, this all came out instead. So I guess this will have to do for now. Good night all