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[Filtered to Hinamori, Kira, Abarai] fearnotdeceit June 6 2009, 06:25:48 UTC
Where, exactly, would you like me to start?

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[Filtered to Hitsugaya-kun, Kira-kun, Abarai-kun] tobiume18 June 6 2009, 06:27:08 UTC
So you admit that you were lying to me the whole time.

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[Filtered to... those people] fearnotdeceit June 6 2009, 06:29:50 UTC
I apologize, Hinamori. The intent was not to lie, but to protect.

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[Same filter] tobiume18 June 6 2009, 06:30:40 UTC
Stop trying to protect me from the truth like I'm four years old.

I think I had enough of that the past two years and we all learned that it didn't help me at all.

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[Same filter] fearnotdeceit June 6 2009, 06:33:38 UTC
... It was to protect me as well, Hinamori.

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[Same filter] tobiume18 June 6 2009, 06:35:20 UTC
I'm your best friend and you KNOW that I would never judge you no matter what the true story is (which I still am going to hear, by the way), so you could've at least told me you needed to meet with me in private if you didn't trust this message system. I dont think that you three needed to collaborate to make some lie...

And you all are terrible liars.

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[Same filter] howls_at_stars June 6 2009, 06:37:16 UTC
Yeah. We know. Look, I'll take the fall for this one--lyin' about it was my idea.

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[Same filter] tobiume18 June 6 2009, 06:41:07 UTC
I know you three the best out of everyone in Seireitei... I'm insulted that you would think that I would believe such a terrible liar as an Invisible Hollow that was a 'Freak incident' and you were SO SURE that there would never be another attack.

You even brought up Aizen so I would be distracted and not ask further questions.

I am insulted that you didn't think that I was smart enough to see right through this.

Someone please tell me the truth.

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[Same filter] fearnotdeceit June 6 2009, 06:47:15 UTC
I attacked Kira, out of anger. Abarai followed and brought me to my senses.

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[Same filter] 1/2 tobiume18 June 6 2009, 06:48:24 UTC
[Private to Hitsugaya-kun] 2/2 tobiume18 June 6 2009, 06:49:15 UTC
What would make you so angry that you would attack Kira-kun?

And by 'brought you to your senses,' does that mean you're the one who broke Abarai-kun's arm?

Hitsugaya-kun... Are you feeling all right?

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[Private to Hinamori] fearnotdeceit June 6 2009, 06:56:58 UTC
Kira didn't make me angry. Not that angry.

I... Hinamori, I had a mask and, Ichimaru it may have been, I attacked someone. I didn't want it to happen again -- I refused -- so I... kept it all inside, everything about the mask, the confinement, the trial and everything since. It all came out, all at once, and Kira was simply there.

Abarai followed me to Rukongai, made me work it out and, yes, I broke his arm. We were afraid it might come to another trial, so Abarai suggested concocting the story about the Hollow. There was never intent to hurt or insult you; the lie was to protect me.

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[Private to Hitsugaya-kun] tobiume18 June 6 2009, 07:05:46 UTC
I just wanted to make sure that you all were safe.

Also? You and Abarai-kun aren't the best of friends and to see you two go out walking one night and then run into a hollow? That was perhaps the most suspicious thing you could've said.

...

I also know what it's like to be afraid of yourself and unsure of what you are capable of... I lived that for two years, Hitsugaya-kun. What was worse was how I kept all my fears to myself and was afraid to even tell anyone... that was the biggest mistake that I could've made for I ended up taking my confusion and anger out at the wrong people. I'm still deeply ashamed at how I attacked you... twice.

I'm your best friend and always here for you when you need an ear or even just a quiet place for you to think. Don't run away from yourself... it's very dangerous.

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[Private to Hinamori] fearnotdeceit June 6 2009, 07:18:00 UTC
We're safe, despite my best efforts.

It was... all suspicious. I know that.

I was so afraid of hurting someone that I ended up hurting two people. Badly. Kira is still out of his office. Abarai's arm was broken and shoulder dislocated. You remember the neighbor's house? The little blue place? It's a pile of rubble. And I was capable of all that simply because I was afraid that I might be capable of it.

I ran from myself and got very lost. And I deeply apologize for hurting you in the process.

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[Private to Hitsugaya-kun] tobiume18 June 7 2009, 20:46:16 UTC
I jut wish you would've told me what happened in the first place and this all could've been avoided.

About what happened to Kira-kun and Abarai-kun... I don't know, Hitsugaya-kun. It seems so unlike you to attack someone like that... and if you ever need to talk, please come to me. You don't even need to say anything... just come over and I can make you tea or something.

Like I said before, don't run away from anyone, yet alone from yourself. You lose all sense of everything.

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[Private to Hinamori] fearnotdeceit June 7 2009, 21:12:35 UTC
I know. I think things got so out of hand that I wasn't sure what to do, so I mishandled it all. This was never meant to hurt you.

I can tell you about it, if you want to know.

I won't, Hinamori. Not anymore.

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