(no subject)
lately i feel like ive been cheated out of a lot of things.
i mean for one i never had a chance at a normal life from day one but ive accepted that and moved on.
but lately somethings have just felt like they had just gone askew and i missed a chance to do something i would have enjoyed better.
example 1: if it werent for getting the flu/kidney stones i would be enjoying my last days of being a freshman in college. i would be going to end of the year parties. getting drunk. having fun. saying goodbye to the friends i made only to make plans for the summer to meet up or to just keep in touch til next semester. i was back at keene 2 weekends ago and i made friends with 2 new great girls who i would have loved to be there to hang out with on the monday after. but im not. id be working more on my video career too, which i was, but am to lazy to do now.
example 2: im missing out on my friends, who are growing up without me. js, ben, meg , dan, geoff, matt and bunch of others are only there, when im there in northbridge. and it sucks to miss out on seeing them. i kinda just wanna be home. its not that i dont like being here on the cape. i enjoy my freedom. i love being with my dad. i cant wait til i get a job and get some money and feel like i have any self worth once again. but for now. its not too enjoyable. im becoming lazy and im stuck in a rut.
this is not to mention other friends like steph and sean who are away and not so easy to get to.
example 3: yesterday i spent the day with meg and her extended greek family in stow for greek easter. it was a great time and environment to be in. everyone eating good food, dancing, sitting around the fire. ever since my parents got divorced we havent had a family get together...or a real family for that matter. we we get together on my dads side its mostly old people and a retarded 9 year old who used to run into walls as recreation. and on my moms side its...well not as fun anymore. not that any of this is anyones fault or could have been avoided. i just enjoyed being with a big family again who doesnt argue and fight if only for a sunday.
but i still love to cheat on women! haha. just kidding.
i mean for one i never had a chance at a normal life from day one but ive accepted that and moved on.
but lately somethings have just felt like they had just gone askew and i missed a chance to do something i would have enjoyed better.
example 1: if it werent for getting the flu/kidney stones i would be enjoying my last days of being a freshman in college. i would be going to end of the year parties. getting drunk. having fun. saying goodbye to the friends i made only to make plans for the summer to meet up or to just keep in touch til next semester. i was back at keene 2 weekends ago and i made friends with 2 new great girls who i would have loved to be there to hang out with on the monday after. but im not. id be working more on my video career too, which i was, but am to lazy to do now.
example 2: im missing out on my friends, who are growing up without me. js, ben, meg , dan, geoff, matt and bunch of others are only there, when im there in northbridge. and it sucks to miss out on seeing them. i kinda just wanna be home. its not that i dont like being here on the cape. i enjoy my freedom. i love being with my dad. i cant wait til i get a job and get some money and feel like i have any self worth once again. but for now. its not too enjoyable. im becoming lazy and im stuck in a rut.
this is not to mention other friends like steph and sean who are away and not so easy to get to.
example 3: yesterday i spent the day with meg and her extended greek family in stow for greek easter. it was a great time and environment to be in. everyone eating good food, dancing, sitting around the fire. ever since my parents got divorced we havent had a family get together...or a real family for that matter. we we get together on my dads side its mostly old people and a retarded 9 year old who used to run into walls as recreation. and on my moms side its...well not as fun anymore. not that any of this is anyones fault or could have been avoided. i just enjoyed being with a big family again who doesnt argue and fight if only for a sunday.
but i still love to cheat on women! haha. just kidding.