Weird
Someone mentioned to me that my diary colors are so grey and dark. Said that it's depressing looking at it. Well guess I did that without even knowing I was doing it. Lately instead of things getting better they have been getting worst. i try to seem so happy and people have been saying that to me lately, but I guess I am not.
Health wise I have been terrible. I have not been able to shake the crappy feeling inside of me that I have had for almost a month. I am still coughing, I still have a stuffy nose.. Etc... My stomach has been terrible for the past week. I am really getting mad at it!
Mentally I am done! I feel like my brain is fried. School has been taking up all of my time. I have not seen anyone, I have not done anything. I think I went out on 1 or 2 days in the past weeks. I am not sure. At the same token, I do not want to see poeple. I want to stay in. I don't know why, I just do.
I told someone today who wanted to see me that I didn't want to see them. They asked why, and I said cause I am getting distant from them. They didn't understand. I just seem to feel that when anyone is doing something unhealthy, that they have control of, then if that is going to affect me in ANY way at all, even without intent, then I don't want to be aroudn them. I have enough problems on my own that I don't wnat to have to worry about other people too. I have enough problems that I can NOT control that I don't seem to understand why people will do things intentionally that can cause problems. I dunno.. I guess I am just being the mother inside of me. Lately all I want is for everyone around me to be okay. It seems like my circle of friends is plagued with problems right now. From health to family to physical to friendships to financial to everything. I don't like that. I want it to all go away so that everyone can be happy! I want you all happy!! I do.. I do.. Seeing any of you sad hurts.. And seeing you sick makes me hurt more. And I know that I can not do anything about it. Excuse me for backing away if things are too hard for me to deal with. It is a flaw that I have.. We all have flaws...
I have not written much in here because I have not had much time. Like I said I have been spending a lot of time at school. I have two classes with group projects, I have multiple papers that have been due, and I have had lots of exams lately. And now I am going to go work back on my paper again.. Argh!! Tonight is going to be a busy day at RIC!!
Wish Me Luck
-Mikey
BTW: Jonathan your voice singing brought a tear to my eye!! I can't believe what a wonderful voice you have and how wonderful you play the piano!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!
Health wise I have been terrible. I have not been able to shake the crappy feeling inside of me that I have had for almost a month. I am still coughing, I still have a stuffy nose.. Etc... My stomach has been terrible for the past week. I am really getting mad at it!
Mentally I am done! I feel like my brain is fried. School has been taking up all of my time. I have not seen anyone, I have not done anything. I think I went out on 1 or 2 days in the past weeks. I am not sure. At the same token, I do not want to see poeple. I want to stay in. I don't know why, I just do.
I told someone today who wanted to see me that I didn't want to see them. They asked why, and I said cause I am getting distant from them. They didn't understand. I just seem to feel that when anyone is doing something unhealthy, that they have control of, then if that is going to affect me in ANY way at all, even without intent, then I don't want to be aroudn them. I have enough problems on my own that I don't wnat to have to worry about other people too. I have enough problems that I can NOT control that I don't seem to understand why people will do things intentionally that can cause problems. I dunno.. I guess I am just being the mother inside of me. Lately all I want is for everyone around me to be okay. It seems like my circle of friends is plagued with problems right now. From health to family to physical to friendships to financial to everything. I don't like that. I want it to all go away so that everyone can be happy! I want you all happy!! I do.. I do.. Seeing any of you sad hurts.. And seeing you sick makes me hurt more. And I know that I can not do anything about it. Excuse me for backing away if things are too hard for me to deal with. It is a flaw that I have.. We all have flaws...
I have not written much in here because I have not had much time. Like I said I have been spending a lot of time at school. I have two classes with group projects, I have multiple papers that have been due, and I have had lots of exams lately. And now I am going to go work back on my paper again.. Argh!! Tonight is going to be a busy day at RIC!!
Wish Me Luck
-Mikey
BTW: Jonathan your voice singing brought a tear to my eye!! I can't believe what a wonderful voice you have and how wonderful you play the piano!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!