i just want to achieve my one dream of accomplishing my many goals.
i was sitting on the floor in my bedroom, stood up, and smashed right into the bathroom door. i swore and then laughed and then wondered wot i did to deserve that. everytime i fall on my ass or hit my head on something i tend to equate it with someone telling me i shouldn't have done something. some karmic reaction you know!? i rarely look at it as an accident anymore .a spanking from the dead as it were by branding a doorknob on my forehead for the the day...or maybee its the fact that i was raised half catholic and despite the fact that i dont practice it the guilt instilled in me still lingers. luckily my favorite accessory is my beanie.
on a good note rcn tech man came in and fixed my computer..so im wasting my life away at lightening speeds. the guy came in at 12noon so i waited for him after work and slept until now. im beginning my day at 11pm. i really think i do need a new job for reasons such as this one. im feeling a serious lack of motivation probably because i have a habit of relating progress with routine. if i wake up at 7am and go to work from 9 to 5pm and go to sleep at midnight i know i have 7 hours to do wotever with inbetween. im completely freed of discipline by having a work shift starting at 11pm. i wake up at different times everyday and dont know wot to do with myself. also i could use a good muse. chris and i motivate eachother to make money which is borderline pathetic when your not allowing yourself to grow as a person. i need to stop making so many fucking excuses and get off my ass. i just want to glow. you have to shake me a few times just to get me to flicker.
work has been fun lately i will say that much. the vacation did some good in that aspect. jared came in a few days ago which made me happy. that kid is awsome. he drew me the faceplate of wot will be a brandon magnet to cancel out the lindsey magnets ive since taken off the refrigerator and hid. i know she found them but i think shes hesitant to put them back up.
jackie came to visit as well with lisa(??) who was like a mini-jackie down to the fact that she said cheers instead of thank you which is a phrase i really have yet to grow fond of. why cheers!? even the show sucked. the deal was sealed when she stood up and was like 2 or three inches shorter than jackie who is already around 5'1''...i think i froze for a second. anyways she seemed really nice and i know i wasn't all that accommodating ( GUILT GUILT!!! ) segue into the fact that i think jackie still feels bad for our breakup and she shouldn't. i would really like to hang out with her on more of a regular basis as i feel just fine around her. one thing ive always been good at is completely forgetting the emotion and sometimes the reason behind past conflicts with others. call it selective amnesia.
anyways i forget anything else that really went on at work apart from amber telling me that the majority of people attending her poetry class at college are gangsta. i started picturing them making haiku:
(grrl):
if you were my boo
il'd light you up with my bling
i love you and shit
(hidden agenda):
my cheese is hog like
penitentiary biach
bust a funky nut
(i gotsta piss)((fo sheezy)):
drinking fizorties
tizesticalls swizelling
do a number one
xXx!
love from brandon
on a good note rcn tech man came in and fixed my computer..so im wasting my life away at lightening speeds. the guy came in at 12noon so i waited for him after work and slept until now. im beginning my day at 11pm. i really think i do need a new job for reasons such as this one. im feeling a serious lack of motivation probably because i have a habit of relating progress with routine. if i wake up at 7am and go to work from 9 to 5pm and go to sleep at midnight i know i have 7 hours to do wotever with inbetween. im completely freed of discipline by having a work shift starting at 11pm. i wake up at different times everyday and dont know wot to do with myself. also i could use a good muse. chris and i motivate eachother to make money which is borderline pathetic when your not allowing yourself to grow as a person. i need to stop making so many fucking excuses and get off my ass. i just want to glow. you have to shake me a few times just to get me to flicker.
work has been fun lately i will say that much. the vacation did some good in that aspect. jared came in a few days ago which made me happy. that kid is awsome. he drew me the faceplate of wot will be a brandon magnet to cancel out the lindsey magnets ive since taken off the refrigerator and hid. i know she found them but i think shes hesitant to put them back up.
jackie came to visit as well with lisa(??) who was like a mini-jackie down to the fact that she said cheers instead of thank you which is a phrase i really have yet to grow fond of. why cheers!? even the show sucked. the deal was sealed when she stood up and was like 2 or three inches shorter than jackie who is already around 5'1''...i think i froze for a second. anyways she seemed really nice and i know i wasn't all that accommodating ( GUILT GUILT!!! ) segue into the fact that i think jackie still feels bad for our breakup and she shouldn't. i would really like to hang out with her on more of a regular basis as i feel just fine around her. one thing ive always been good at is completely forgetting the emotion and sometimes the reason behind past conflicts with others. call it selective amnesia.
anyways i forget anything else that really went on at work apart from amber telling me that the majority of people attending her poetry class at college are gangsta. i started picturing them making haiku:
(grrl):
if you were my boo
il'd light you up with my bling
i love you and shit
(hidden agenda):
my cheese is hog like
penitentiary biach
bust a funky nut
(i gotsta piss)((fo sheezy)):
drinking fizorties
tizesticalls swizelling
do a number one
xXx!
love from brandon