Dating fucking sucks
I'm 31 and trying this dating thing once again. I date men that are my age and I end up being the sugar momma. I date older men...well just one in particular and it's difficult because he's super chill but I am fucked up. I can't trust anyone and I just feel so flawed. I am convinced that happiness will just come from myself and there is no match for me out there. Went on a 3rd date with a guy who is great...but he may meet up with his badass ex that will pretty much run for president in Ghana soon. They are some sort of business partners? It's great he has nothing but great things to say about her. It is also a red flag that he has nothing but good things to say about her. Weird that she was texting him on our date. Apparently she is in Jamaica and wants to meet with him. He probably won't do it he says. But whatever...that seriously is none of my fucking business anyway.
At least dinner and drinks were free I guess. Shit. That is a huge cockroach at the trolley stop. This is where I'm blogging. It's kind of peaceful and nice in a way. I am not sure exactly why I bother dating. It is insanely difficult to find someone that shares the same goals I do. I honestly lost my appettite after he started just praising his ex...sometimes I wish I didn't work in psych. I overanalyze everything and assume the worst to protect myself. Just have fun. Just have fun. Just have fun. Shut the fuck up, ovaries. I can always adopt by myself. Lol. Heartstrings are fragile things. I don't even know the guy and I already assume he's not over his past. And that's the beauty and tragedy of it. Maybe I'm not mature enough to handle it.
Deep breath. Take it slow. No expectations. One day at a time.
At least dinner and drinks were free I guess. Shit. That is a huge cockroach at the trolley stop. This is where I'm blogging. It's kind of peaceful and nice in a way. I am not sure exactly why I bother dating. It is insanely difficult to find someone that shares the same goals I do. I honestly lost my appettite after he started just praising his ex...sometimes I wish I didn't work in psych. I overanalyze everything and assume the worst to protect myself. Just have fun. Just have fun. Just have fun. Shut the fuck up, ovaries. I can always adopt by myself. Lol. Heartstrings are fragile things. I don't even know the guy and I already assume he's not over his past. And that's the beauty and tragedy of it. Maybe I'm not mature enough to handle it.
Deep breath. Take it slow. No expectations. One day at a time.