(no subject)
Truth or something like it or whatever. i dont feel like copying and pasting it.
1. i'm ridiculously insecure which goes all the way back to the fact that when i was 6 i thought everyone hated me and cried in the bathtub. things haven't changed.
2. i could live off of cheddar munchies the rest of my life.
3. the word 'forget' does not exist in my vocabulary. i can forgive.. but i can never forget.
4. i overanalyze every single situation.
5. i *despise* the fact that i understand people. as jack says my 'people instincts are scary' it drives me nuts. id rather not know. bc most people are just out there looking to hurt you to make themselves look better.
6. i trust, until you give me a reason not to. and it's probably been the single most factor in being walked on and hurt most of my life. but once you give me a reason not to, i will never trust you again. i learned my lesson with zach. even though we're friends now, i refuse to forget all that he taught me. trust is precious, and it's the greatest gift you can give someone and that they can give you. there are very few people i trust wholly, and they consist of only my blood (mom, daddy, cory, and nicole - yes, she is my sister.)
7. im mean, vindictive, and selfish.. but only on the outside.
8. this is the first time since i've been 14 that i've been single. to ease the pain of one relationship i just jumped into another. which was the wrong way to go about things. i need to get over this one alone... and not replace that feeling with another person that i just end up hurting someone like i was hurt.
9. i don't trust love. love is just a word, and can be thrown around by the biggest idoits. to love someone - you show it. i've done that, all i get in the end is hurt. so go ahead, fall in love with me... i won't believe you.
10. the most 'attractive' guy in the room never gets me... the only thing that attracts me to a guy is his sense of humor. i love to laugh, and any guy that can make me smile just by thinking about him is the one who has my heart.
11. most girls are not to be trusted (as i've been taught over and over and over again even recently) i've found that pretty much every girl in my life besides nicole and a few select others has had nothing but the worst intentions. guys are much more sincere and honest ... that is when they know up front there be no getting in the pants lol
12. this summer was the best of my life - graduation, 18th bday, a trip to europe, and irreplaceable best friend time AT the exact time i needed her most, who could ask for more?
13. i love pictures. taking them, looking at them, remembering the moment that they were taken...
14. i don't regret. every decision i've ever made makes me who i am. and who i am is a strong, smart, outgoing, though not perfect, girl. i would not take back a single decision i've ever made bc it would change the person sitting here typing this and that's not what i want.
15. unlike most girls, i do NOT need a boyfriend to complete myself. i do NOT need constant attention and will not do anything to get it. that's one thing i've never understood i've always had a boyfriend but i've never NEEDED one, i've never NEEDED attention and love. i get enough of that at home. i have enough of that in my friends. a bf or gf does not complete you. you are complete entity within yourself... i wish some people could see that.
16. i love my friends. my TRUE friends that is. i've met alot of people, and don't get me wrong i adore meeting new people and making acquaintances... but those special people who enter your life and make you feel good just from being around them and have fun and call and check on you just bc they care... those are the people that i live for. some of them i've known for years and some people are new but they mean just as much. i appreciate these people so much and make sure that they know how i feel. anyone that is one of these people knows that i randomly send them messages of love just bc i want them to know how much they mean to me.
17. my parents are the most amazing people in my life. you only have to meet them for 5 min to see that. they're both self-made people and have worked their whole life to give me everything i have. as my dad said the other day (which is one reason i love him, bc he says things like this) "i worked my ass off for 20 yrs so you can go to college and not have to worry about money. id rather have you out partying and shit, then working." both of them have given me everything i've ever needed - emotionally, they've loved me unconditionally, although im sure i made it hard sometimes, they've taught me SO much - in the end they were always right about everything, believe it or not your parents just have your BEST interests in mind, they've made me into a good person. they're the ONLY reason im a good person. to dissappoint them would devestate me. to not live up to their expectations for me in life would destroy me.
18. i sleep with about 10 pillows on my bed. and usually a cat or dog. well, at least when im at home. i hate sleeping alone. that's one of the only things i miss about being in a relationship- just curling up in someone's arms and going to sleep... that, to me, is one of the most incredible feelings.
19. im probably one of the most stubborn people you'll ever meet. which i see as a strength and a weakness.
20. i love to love... that is me in a nutshell. im completely in love with life... even in love with being hurt. i love to feel. feeling good is nice.. but the fact that i can feel SO strongly that it will bring me to my knees in tears.. THAT is what life is about. and one day, one day, someone will love me for loving love...
1. i'm ridiculously insecure which goes all the way back to the fact that when i was 6 i thought everyone hated me and cried in the bathtub. things haven't changed.
2. i could live off of cheddar munchies the rest of my life.
3. the word 'forget' does not exist in my vocabulary. i can forgive.. but i can never forget.
4. i overanalyze every single situation.
5. i *despise* the fact that i understand people. as jack says my 'people instincts are scary' it drives me nuts. id rather not know. bc most people are just out there looking to hurt you to make themselves look better.
6. i trust, until you give me a reason not to. and it's probably been the single most factor in being walked on and hurt most of my life. but once you give me a reason not to, i will never trust you again. i learned my lesson with zach. even though we're friends now, i refuse to forget all that he taught me. trust is precious, and it's the greatest gift you can give someone and that they can give you. there are very few people i trust wholly, and they consist of only my blood (mom, daddy, cory, and nicole - yes, she is my sister.)
7. im mean, vindictive, and selfish.. but only on the outside.
8. this is the first time since i've been 14 that i've been single. to ease the pain of one relationship i just jumped into another. which was the wrong way to go about things. i need to get over this one alone... and not replace that feeling with another person that i just end up hurting someone like i was hurt.
9. i don't trust love. love is just a word, and can be thrown around by the biggest idoits. to love someone - you show it. i've done that, all i get in the end is hurt. so go ahead, fall in love with me... i won't believe you.
10. the most 'attractive' guy in the room never gets me... the only thing that attracts me to a guy is his sense of humor. i love to laugh, and any guy that can make me smile just by thinking about him is the one who has my heart.
11. most girls are not to be trusted (as i've been taught over and over and over again even recently) i've found that pretty much every girl in my life besides nicole and a few select others has had nothing but the worst intentions. guys are much more sincere and honest ... that is when they know up front there be no getting in the pants lol
12. this summer was the best of my life - graduation, 18th bday, a trip to europe, and irreplaceable best friend time AT the exact time i needed her most, who could ask for more?
13. i love pictures. taking them, looking at them, remembering the moment that they were taken...
14. i don't regret. every decision i've ever made makes me who i am. and who i am is a strong, smart, outgoing, though not perfect, girl. i would not take back a single decision i've ever made bc it would change the person sitting here typing this and that's not what i want.
15. unlike most girls, i do NOT need a boyfriend to complete myself. i do NOT need constant attention and will not do anything to get it. that's one thing i've never understood i've always had a boyfriend but i've never NEEDED one, i've never NEEDED attention and love. i get enough of that at home. i have enough of that in my friends. a bf or gf does not complete you. you are complete entity within yourself... i wish some people could see that.
16. i love my friends. my TRUE friends that is. i've met alot of people, and don't get me wrong i adore meeting new people and making acquaintances... but those special people who enter your life and make you feel good just from being around them and have fun and call and check on you just bc they care... those are the people that i live for. some of them i've known for years and some people are new but they mean just as much. i appreciate these people so much and make sure that they know how i feel. anyone that is one of these people knows that i randomly send them messages of love just bc i want them to know how much they mean to me.
17. my parents are the most amazing people in my life. you only have to meet them for 5 min to see that. they're both self-made people and have worked their whole life to give me everything i have. as my dad said the other day (which is one reason i love him, bc he says things like this) "i worked my ass off for 20 yrs so you can go to college and not have to worry about money. id rather have you out partying and shit, then working." both of them have given me everything i've ever needed - emotionally, they've loved me unconditionally, although im sure i made it hard sometimes, they've taught me SO much - in the end they were always right about everything, believe it or not your parents just have your BEST interests in mind, they've made me into a good person. they're the ONLY reason im a good person. to dissappoint them would devestate me. to not live up to their expectations for me in life would destroy me.
18. i sleep with about 10 pillows on my bed. and usually a cat or dog. well, at least when im at home. i hate sleeping alone. that's one of the only things i miss about being in a relationship- just curling up in someone's arms and going to sleep... that, to me, is one of the most incredible feelings.
19. im probably one of the most stubborn people you'll ever meet. which i see as a strength and a weakness.
20. i love to love... that is me in a nutshell. im completely in love with life... even in love with being hurt. i love to feel. feeling good is nice.. but the fact that i can feel SO strongly that it will bring me to my knees in tears.. THAT is what life is about. and one day, one day, someone will love me for loving love...