(no subject)
I don't believe in the oracle, or the bones. not even the shifting gestures and glancing blows of those eyes and expressions. I do not believe and will not believe. I am not here. I am not here for myself or anyone else. Floating right now, the frustrations thrown at me just make me sink a little more. Bring to mind that it is always the wrong time, the wrong choice. I want so badly to do right, to make everyone and everything ok. Fix a little leak in the flood that is coming. Float away in that flood with the people I have found worthy of starting an island with.
Her metaphor, her model, was broken. logic circular. She is broken, cannot be fixed until she wants to be. Her council is ill suited for practice. I feel much less now than I did.
Chance missing, human decency all but lost, these reasons fail her system, deny the very reason that model was made. That chance. that humanity. its what is needed. kindness. she is right about a few things there, sure, she is not stupid by far, just broken.
i dont want to end up broken too. inaction......... or try to find reason again. Every time i tell myself to remember. every time i forget my own lessons, my own reminders, markers and booby traps.
i pray so hard for so little. words dont work. actions fail, carried out by this vessel do not translate.
things are not right, should be so much different. you say that to me, but dont know what i do think, really do you?
how can i be an important piece and be discarded still only to be a part of regret mechanics later.
fail. for now. fail.
Her metaphor, her model, was broken. logic circular. She is broken, cannot be fixed until she wants to be. Her council is ill suited for practice. I feel much less now than I did.
Chance missing, human decency all but lost, these reasons fail her system, deny the very reason that model was made. That chance. that humanity. its what is needed. kindness. she is right about a few things there, sure, she is not stupid by far, just broken.
i dont want to end up broken too. inaction......... or try to find reason again. Every time i tell myself to remember. every time i forget my own lessons, my own reminders, markers and booby traps.
i pray so hard for so little. words dont work. actions fail, carried out by this vessel do not translate.
things are not right, should be so much different. you say that to me, but dont know what i do think, really do you?
how can i be an important piece and be discarded still only to be a part of regret mechanics later.
fail. for now. fail.