lines get crossed...
These days it is hard to see what is up and what is down.It has been a very long time since i had written in this,i just figured it would be the best way to get things just out in the open.My life is pretty much work.This is in fact all my fault.But there is no harm in wanting to do something with your life and get a good start getting out in the world.But it does take its toll.i became a constant worrier.I worried about failing in life,not amounting to anything.And yes everyone goes through this at some point.But i think i went way to far.I worried about everything.Not being on time for work even though i go in and hour early.Long story short.there wasn't anything i didn't worry about.That's sad.But i had the biggest kick in my ass when i went on vacation recently to Oklahoma.I went to get away from everything here.Work,family,friends etc.I needed a break.But when i got there nothing had changed even by the end of my trip i was still worrying about everything.And Joshua made me realize this.He just let me have in a way.He was straight up honest.And i'm glad cause it made me realize.What is the point? You can't just plan what you want to do with your life now and do it.Things take time.And you in the meantime should just have fun.Relax and live your life.You can still work but don't take things so seriously,cause everything could be gone just like that.I know to most this is all common sense but i guess for me it just took me so much longer to figure out.I needed someone to get mad at me and just yell "stop"...when i started to ramble on about worrying.This trip ended about 4 days ago.And since then i have tried not to take everything so seriously.To try and open up to people and let them in.Meet new people and actually give them a chance to be my friends before shutting them out.When i head to work i just take my time,i don't rush,speed or anything.There is so much more i could say,but i have said all i needed to.Well, i'm sorry for the long entry and i have no idea if anyone even reads these anymore i just figured i would share.Thanks.