OMFG IT'S COMPLETELY FIXED. AND ALL IT TOOK WAS ONE FRICKIN PROGRAM. I finally clicked on some security warning window that kept popping up (i hadn't been sure if it was an actual Windows warning or not), and it sent me to a Microsoft page recommending
Spyware Doctor. So i downloaded that (and registered it *cough* completely legally i swear) and ran it because, hey, it couldn't hurt, and it found the problems and said it fixed them and then i checked and it was ACTUALLY FIXED FOR REAL THIS TIME. And my system had gotten much, much worse the other day, too! I couldn't click on things on my desktop or get to my files or my C drive or ANYTHING! AND NOW I CAN! AND PHOTOSHOP OPENS! Spyware Doctor is my GOD.
Thanks to everyone who offered advice the other day, i appreciated it. Computer problems are fucking stressful. BUT THEN WHEN THEY'RE OVER EVERYTHING IS FANTASTIC!
I wasn't expecting to get this fixed until next week when i go home for spring break. WOOOO!!!O!*&!(^#&!