John & Kate Plus Eight
Terminator: Salvation
My feelings: mixed! On the one hand it was pretty badass and entertaining and a neato depiction of post-J-Day. On the other hand its character-driven moments were kind of... non-existent, it didn't actually have a point or tell us much we didn't already know, and its roles for ladies were offputting at best!
I spent way too much time trying to reconcile a lot of it with the entire Terminator franchise, so my head was filled with thoughts that would have better served me to think about AFTER the movie instead of during. :/ IT'S FUCKING DISTRACTING! (...toward the beginning there were people a few rows back who would not shut up and i considered turning around and yelling that, which just made me laugh inwardly and then i remembered to watch the movie.) Like... time travel! And Kyle's role in that! Here is where watching SCC has basically ruined me, because i entirely view Terminator time travel now as a series of branching timelines, in which I PERSONALLY BELIEVE it is now unnecessary to send Kyle back in time because he was sent back from a different future that no longer exists on the current path, and since John was already born and lives on the current path he will not simply blink out of existence if Kyle dies. BUT that's also kind of no fun because time travel is time travel and Kyle going back is the foundation for the whole series and i think that does necessitate the circumstances of it happening in the first place. So. I'M NOT REALLY SURE. It is something to consider nonetheless!
re: Kate: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT SHIT. I was so hopeful that she would be badass. HOPES: DASHED. She had like five lines in the entire movie and always looked like she had styled hair and makeup and her clothes were fine (I THOUGHT THIS WAS A POST-APOCALYPTIC FUTURE???) and she was pregnant so she got to... stand around being pregnant. There were like maybe two tiny glimpses of what she MIGHT be like outside of the parameters of what we got to see in the movie (being a cool doctor! helping John with strategy!), but that was it. I am really upset about this. WHY ARE THEY MARRIED? WHAT IS KATE'S PERSONALITY?!???! Hell if we get to see! I liked Claire Danes a fuck of a lot more than this bullshit.
So then we got Blair, who kicked some ass but was an incredibly generic Hot Woman In An Action Movie Who Is Sexily Rebellious And Has Perfect Hair. She had to be rescued from hillbilly post-apocalyptic rapists after putting up a decent fight for a minute! She instantly, unquestioningly fell in love with Marcus because of his ~*~heart~*~ (so... for no real reason. oh no wait, because he saved her from hillbilly post-apocalyptic rapists.) and seemingly had no issues with the fact that he was mostly a robot!
Blah blah adorable mute little girl, blah blah old woman ~*~Earth Mother~*~, blah blah dying Helena Bonham Carter.
For the franchise that created Sarah fucking Connor, i am monumentally disappointed.
Moving past that though, i thought Marcus was rad (holy shit Sam Worthington is a HOT PIECE) and a way cool robot hero although the prisoner-with-a-heart-of-gold angle was lame. I also found him to be a nice addition to John Connor Loves Robots, but i'm still not sure how i feel about him essentially being a human with (lots and lots of) robot parts. There was no real question as to the extent of his humanity because he started out as a human and still thought he was a human and felt like a human and had a human brain and a human heart, which is vastly different from entirely robotic Terminators learning how to love. If anything Marcus was like the Six Million Dollar Man (with the exception of that pesky Cylon-sleeper-agent programming that got Kyle to Skynet).
I LOVED KYLE. I had been nervous about him being in this so much, i guess because i always feel like aaaaaahhhhh don't fuck with Kyle! Leave him in T1 where he belongs! And i had been so wary of Anton Yelchin's casting for some reason (how can CHEKOV also be Kyle Reese! does not compute!), but holy shit he was like the perfect adorablest baby Kyle and i loved him. I loved him SHOOTING THINGS. There was so much shooting things while wearing jackets in this movie, which is always a favorite of mine. (Marcus' stolen coat = AWESOME. I LOVE COATS. LIKE T1 KYLE'S.)
John was just kind of... there. Being a fighter. He was badass and all, but i got no real sense of him as a person the way i think of him in T2 and SCC. I WANT MY CRAZY ROBOSEXUAL TEENAGER SHOULDERING THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD. He still listens to Sarah for guidance, though. Aw. :(
The early scene of John flying the helicopter, then crashing the helicopter, then fighting the HALF A TERMINATOR (T1!!) was incredibly awesome. That was the scariest Terminator in the movie for me, that son of a bitch moved FAST. It's a special kind of awesomeness to see them fighting the old school endoskeletons because we literally haven't seen that since T1, and there were A LOT OF THEM in this.
Aside from that beginning, i didn't love the movie until they got to Skynet, everything there was ACE. Marcus syncing with the system and his robot vision shenanigans, John and Kyyyyyyyyyle!, UNCLE BOB!! <3 As obvious as it was that they didn't actually get Arnold to do anything for this, i thought he looked pretty good for what little we saw of him. All the running around in an industrial setting and trying to beat a killer robot with an obsolete robot protector and every time you think it's beaten it really really isn't was all so definitively Terminator. Plus i probably loved it because it was all my favorite characters in the movie in one place and none of the lame unnecessary ones! Also, futuristic Skynet labs and evil computers: i like them! :D
Another example of how SCC has ruined me: in pretty much all of Marcus and Kyle's scenes together, i was kind of replacing Marcus with Derek in my head. They had a sort of older brother-younger brother dynamic! IT IS JUST WHERE MY MIND GOES. REESES. :(
Haha from like the first scene on the sub i knew all those guys were toast. Oh really, John is NOT the #1 leader? Well let me guess, every other leader is going to die so that John IS the leader!
I found the ending to be weak as hell because it pretty much got us nowhere and felt unearned at that. They destroyed Skynet, but not all the way! So they ~*~live to fight another day~*~ ... REALLY? THAT'S IT? Then again i went into this knowing nothing but already thinking it would have no real story, so. I just thought something bigger than John getting a freaking heart transplant would happen. I even thought maybe John would die (who knew you could survive being impaled RIGHT IN THE CHEST with nothing but field medicine to heal you!) to be replaced by ROBOT JOHN or something, but that is just silly. (granted it would not make sense for John to die at all given that the whole reason Terminators got sent back in time in the first place is because future John is UNKILLABLE.) (..............like a robot??)
You know who i miss? Cameron. :(
I'm sure some disliked the amount of callback moments because there comes a point when it just seems lazy, but i enjoyed them a lot. The Sarah picture and her tapes! "Come with me if you want to live"! (I ALWAYS LOVE THAT LINE. ALWAYS.) John being a hacker! Motorcycles! John falling for the T-800's fake Kyle voice! Yeah, the final fight was pretty much the same as every other final fight in a Terminator movie, BUT IT WAS COOL. I even liked friggin "I'll be back", THAT'S SO DORKY but it made me smile. I didn't get Kyle's shotgun strap from T1 or Guns N' Roses and future John's scars from T2 without the internet telling me, but THAT'S AWESOME.
JOHN CONNOR JUMPED INTO THE OCEAN OUT OF A FUCKING HELICOPTER TO GET ON A FUCKING SUBMARINE. WHAT DID YOU DO TODAY?
I guess you could say it had its moments, albeit nothing revolutionary or thought-provoking. Fortunately all the terrible opinions i've seen really lowered my expectations (after originally thinking it would be terrible and then seeing cool previews and getting tricked into feeling way more optimistic!) and i thought it was better than all that. Just with an underlying essence of crappiness. A bouquet of suck, if you will. It's better if you just don't think about it! ROBOTS ARE COOL! The end.
Lost
5x14 - The Variable
DANIEL FREAKING DIED??!?!?! AFTER BEING SHOT BY HIS OWN MOTHER?!??! That's cold. I guess i should have seen that death coming considering how much they were kind of hitting all the bases of Daniel's unresolved issues on the island, and obviously when he said "any one of us could die" that should have been a big red flashing warning right there. Dang it, DANIEL! THAT SUCKS. Oh but surprise surprise, Widmore is his dad. Desmond and Daniel were in-laws and they never even knew it. :(
LOL at Kate trying to give Daniel a huge rifle and "do you have something for a beginner?" You kind of forget how much they've gotten used to using guns a lot. But boy they really screwed the pooch on escaping from the compound. That escalated quickly!
JACK AND KATE JUNGLE FUN TIMES!!! I MISSED THOSE.
5x15 - Follow the Leader
Kate being SUPER pissed at Jack because he wanted to erase everything that had happened to them was adorb. And sad. "It was NOT all misery." "Enough of it was." AWWWWWW. :( She was so hurt! He was so... vaguely apologetic yet uncompromising! THEIR FACES. :(((((( I get why he was so eager to believe Daniel's theory, but i still thought that was really super dumb on his part. THIS is what you finally decide to have faith in? Nuking the island with the distant hope of erasing your past? Gosh i wonder why none of that sounds remotely like it could have a good outcome! A+, JANITOR GUY. :|
I like young Eloise, she's neat. I mean, aside from the fact that she killed her own time-traveling son. O__O
Richard wandering around in both the 1977 scenes and the 2007 scenes gets really confusing. HE LOOKS EXACTLY THE SAME IN BOTH. WHAT YEAR IS THIS?!? WHERE AM I
Haha i love how awkward it was when Kate crashed the party on the sub. Sawyer and Juliet were so happy... and then Kate busts in. "HAY GUYS, WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT??! OH LOL HANDCUFFS, JUST LIKE OLD TIMES EH SAWYER?"
I love that Pierre Chang found them out (hilariously), including that Miles is his son. It's nice to have such a Dharma higher-up who knows the truth and is on their side!
Okay watching these episodes downloaded is disconcerting because they seem to go by waaaaaaay faster than the live airing. UNACCEPTABLE. I am trying to savor this shit and the episodes keep on freaking ending!
5x16 - The Incident, Parts 1&2
SO, THE SEASON FINALE.
THAT WAS SOME CRAZY SHIT.
I don't even know where to start. I guess we'd better hope the explosion worked at resetting history because if it didn't THEY'RE ALL DEAD, sooooo... UGH, the most frustrating anxiety-inducing part is having NO FREAKING CLUE where it will go from here! Like, i can't even begin to speculate. I would think that rebooting to Flight 815's original journey would be the end of the series. Unless the explosion did some weird thing that because of where it happened it remained contained by the energy pocket/vortex/black hole/fifth dimension/WHATEVER is down in that hole. (I AM TALKING NONSENSE) But even if it did THAT then Juliet is still dead for sure. Which makes me cry and cry and cryyyyyyyy. :( Daaaammmmmiiiiiiit her getting pulled into the pit was awful. JULIET! FUCK.
SO ANYWAY apart from having absolutely not even an inkling of what could possibly happen next season (AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH IT'S KILLING ME. WILL THEY BE RETELLING ALMOST EVERYTHING WE'VE SEEN HAPPEN ON THE SHOW TO DATE? WILL NOTHING MUCH HAVE CHANGED? WHO IS DEAD, WHO IS ALIVE? WHAT IS HAPPENING) uhh... stuff that actually occurred in the finale! Right!
Jacob??!!?!?!??!?!?? WTF, that guy... is an actual person! WHO KNEW. So in addition to hand-picking some of our people long before they came to the island (yeah, i saw him touch them all!), did he really bring Locke back to life after his building fall? Because that is what it looked like. Which is sooooo CHEATING. Based on context clues i am guessing that Jacob has something akin to Walt's abilities. And i guess they gave us our answer about whether the ghosties are Jacob or not, in that... they are not! They are the other guy! Who is currently being Locke! WHICH WWHHHHHHAAAAAATTTTT. (that would be why Alex's ghost told Ben to stop trying to kill Locke and follow his orders! Alex and Locke = played by the same ISLAND SPIRIT WHATEVER THE FUCK) Okay i guess it's silly that we so readily believed that Locke CAME BACK TO LIFE in the first place, but the island heals people and Locke was the chosen one! And also it is not really that silly when the alternative is having him be some sort of GHOST IMPERSONATOR. I figured the Shadow of the Statue people had SOMEBODY'S body in their box (because what else would you see that would be so immediately shocking?) but somehow it never crossed my mind that it would be Locke, ha. He seemed so much like Locke though, jeeeeeeez, i feel betrayed and confused. TWISTS!!!
Juliet starting the sub hijacking was awesome, i love her. Juliet, Kate, and Sawyer mounting the offensive to try and stop Jack and barricading the van was very cool. Jack and Sawyer's talk in the jungle made me nearly fall over because never did i dare to dream that Jack would ACTUALLY SAY that all this was because... he's in love with Kate?!??!?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? JACK YOU ARE SUCH A GIRL. It both makes me genuinely happy and makes me LOL endlessly because it's retarded. "I screwed things up with Kate therefore i want to blow up a nuclear bomb and reset our lives so that we've never met AND THEN MAYBE WE CAN GO ON A DATE, YOU DON'T KNOW, I'LL DO WHAT I WANT!" That. is. AMAZING. The Jack/Sawyer deathmatch was pretty hardcore, it was awesome and Jack definitely got the worst of it. ...Okay so pretty much i can't stop laughing that Sawyer kicked him in the crotch. RIGHT IN THE BALLS. That is UNDIGNIFIED. Honestly i'm completely surprised i never got spoiled by animated .gifs of that all over the internet! Jack getting kicked in the balls!!!!!!! INTERNET, THIS IS RELEVANT TO YOUR INTERESTS!
LOL running around with a nuclear core in a backpack, we've come a long way and yet surprisingly not far at all from dynamite in the season one finale (going to the Swan station and everything!). Aww.
GUN BATTLES!!! They do a lot of them now!
Hey, Rose and Bernard and Vincent! They still exist! That was a nice resolution, i've never been the biggest fan of them (has anyone?) but their zen-like attitude and general disdain for the ridiculousness our main characters go through all the time was refreshing. I genuinely felt sad when Juliet turned down Bernard's offer of tea because you could tell she wanted to stay. :(
MILES!!!! "Well i'm glad you all thought this through." AHAHAHAHA. I LOVE THAT GUY. He did indeed make an excellent point, and it could still play out that way, that The Incident has always been what they just did. But i am inclined to think that a nuclear explosion would have greater repercussions than simply an "incident". Honestly i kind of don't WANT the timeline to reset though. I really appreciate consistent time travel that doesn't allow you to change things, and up to this point Lost has remained consistent.
Baby Kate was a really good lookalike, i'm always impressed by stuff like that (OH HAI BABY SPOCK :D). I'm a little annoyed that we finally saw the surgery that Jack told Kate about when they first met, simply because the counting to five was lame. His DAD made him do it?! I thought that was just what he did when he got scared! LAME. MISREPRESENTATION. And Nadia's death was super lame; not only is the surprise-getting-hit-by-a-vehicle totally played out in everything and so obvious when it's going to happen (OH SOMEBODY IS IN A STREET? THEY ARE PROBABLY ABRUPTLY GOING TO GET HIT BY A VEHICLE), but they've even already done that on Lost! SHEESH.
The identity of the statue is interesting! I guess that would be why giving birth on the island is such an issue: they've got a friggin BUSTED statue of a fertility goddess! (DUH, why didn't we think of that before?! IT'S SO OBVIOUS.) :B
There were like five times during the episode that i really thought Jack and Kate were going to kiss (and i'm pretty sure they meant to!) and then they... didn't. But aww, they love each other. Kate came around to his way of thinking... just 'cause! Apparently that's what love is. I liked it when she unsuccessfully tried to wipe some of the buckets of blood off of his face. :) Bringing up their first meeting in the pilot YET AGAIN was too obvious for me, but i also love recalling their first meeting so i'll let it slide. It was pretty lame that immediately after Jack admitted his feelings about Kate was when Juliet broke up with Sawyer because of Kate. OKAY, EVERYBODY'S STILL IN LOVE WITH KATE, GOTCHA. :P
Oh, i guess all of them "dying" in the explosion (but really resetting to a different timeline) would explain why Richard told Sun he watched them all die. And if they DO reset to a different timeline, will the 2007 people remain in their own separate, unaffected timeline? So that 2007 Sun will never again meet Jin? :((( But see apparently Jacob dying changes everything too, so with the explosion and Jacob's death occurring at the same point (narratively, if not chronologically) there are two highly unpredictable variables entering into this and i have no idea what the effect of either is going to beeeeeeeeeeeee.
UGGGGH, I AM SO UPSET ABOUT JULIET. Just... everything! Generally! I don't want her to die! But i don't want things to go back the way they were so she's stuck on the island with Ben and never meets our people. And i'm sad about her and Sawyer, and her final "i love you" to him (CRYYYY). I'm SUPER SAD about her lying broken at the bottom of the pit and finally heroically detonating the bomb. I'm sad about Kate/Juliet, and i'm sad about Jack/Juliet because WOW that feels like a long time ago. I AM SAD ABOUT JULIET. THE LAST SCENE HURTS ME IN MY HEART. :C This explosion is so much less ambiguous than the time Desmond blew up the hatch and i thought he died! IF THIS THING HAPPENED THEN JULIET IS DEFINITELY DEAD. But hey maybe i'm wrong and she's merrily skipping through time. RIGHT?!??!? YEAH! LET'S GO WITH THAT!
;_____;
So i'm glad we got back into the old tried and true formula of Lost season finales being FUCKING CRAZY. Only one season left! I'M SCARED. I DO NOT KNOW WHAT I'LL DO WHEN IT'S OVER. I am really not used to shows getting a real ending when i still love them! FUCK, i love Lost more (or... differently?) now than i even did in the glory days of season one! WHAT SHOWS HAVE THEIR BEST SEASONS AT THE END??!?! NONE. NONE SHOWS. Never in my wildest imaginings did i think it would become this much of a convoluted sci-fi mess of awesomeness. It's enough to bring a tear to the eye. A single, nerdy tear.
THIS POST HAS TOO MANY WORDS.
My feelings: mixed! On the one hand it was pretty badass and entertaining and a neato depiction of post-J-Day. On the other hand its character-driven moments were kind of... non-existent, it didn't actually have a point or tell us much we didn't already know, and its roles for ladies were offputting at best!
I spent way too much time trying to reconcile a lot of it with the entire Terminator franchise, so my head was filled with thoughts that would have better served me to think about AFTER the movie instead of during. :/ IT'S FUCKING DISTRACTING! (...toward the beginning there were people a few rows back who would not shut up and i considered turning around and yelling that, which just made me laugh inwardly and then i remembered to watch the movie.) Like... time travel! And Kyle's role in that! Here is where watching SCC has basically ruined me, because i entirely view Terminator time travel now as a series of branching timelines, in which I PERSONALLY BELIEVE it is now unnecessary to send Kyle back in time because he was sent back from a different future that no longer exists on the current path, and since John was already born and lives on the current path he will not simply blink out of existence if Kyle dies. BUT that's also kind of no fun because time travel is time travel and Kyle going back is the foundation for the whole series and i think that does necessitate the circumstances of it happening in the first place. So. I'M NOT REALLY SURE. It is something to consider nonetheless!
re: Kate: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT SHIT. I was so hopeful that she would be badass. HOPES: DASHED. She had like five lines in the entire movie and always looked like she had styled hair and makeup and her clothes were fine (I THOUGHT THIS WAS A POST-APOCALYPTIC FUTURE???) and she was pregnant so she got to... stand around being pregnant. There were like maybe two tiny glimpses of what she MIGHT be like outside of the parameters of what we got to see in the movie (being a cool doctor! helping John with strategy!), but that was it. I am really upset about this. WHY ARE THEY MARRIED? WHAT IS KATE'S PERSONALITY?!???! Hell if we get to see! I liked Claire Danes a fuck of a lot more than this bullshit.
So then we got Blair, who kicked some ass but was an incredibly generic Hot Woman In An Action Movie Who Is Sexily Rebellious And Has Perfect Hair. She had to be rescued from hillbilly post-apocalyptic rapists after putting up a decent fight for a minute! She instantly, unquestioningly fell in love with Marcus because of his ~*~heart~*~ (so... for no real reason. oh no wait, because he saved her from hillbilly post-apocalyptic rapists.) and seemingly had no issues with the fact that he was mostly a robot!
Blah blah adorable mute little girl, blah blah old woman ~*~Earth Mother~*~, blah blah dying Helena Bonham Carter.
For the franchise that created Sarah fucking Connor, i am monumentally disappointed.
Moving past that though, i thought Marcus was rad (holy shit Sam Worthington is a HOT PIECE) and a way cool robot hero although the prisoner-with-a-heart-of-gold angle was lame. I also found him to be a nice addition to John Connor Loves Robots, but i'm still not sure how i feel about him essentially being a human with (lots and lots of) robot parts. There was no real question as to the extent of his humanity because he started out as a human and still thought he was a human and felt like a human and had a human brain and a human heart, which is vastly different from entirely robotic Terminators learning how to love. If anything Marcus was like the Six Million Dollar Man (with the exception of that pesky Cylon-sleeper-agent programming that got Kyle to Skynet).
I LOVED KYLE. I had been nervous about him being in this so much, i guess because i always feel like aaaaaahhhhh don't fuck with Kyle! Leave him in T1 where he belongs! And i had been so wary of Anton Yelchin's casting for some reason (how can CHEKOV also be Kyle Reese! does not compute!), but holy shit he was like the perfect adorablest baby Kyle and i loved him. I loved him SHOOTING THINGS. There was so much shooting things while wearing jackets in this movie, which is always a favorite of mine. (Marcus' stolen coat = AWESOME. I LOVE COATS. LIKE T1 KYLE'S.)
John was just kind of... there. Being a fighter. He was badass and all, but i got no real sense of him as a person the way i think of him in T2 and SCC. I WANT MY CRAZY ROBOSEXUAL TEENAGER SHOULDERING THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD. He still listens to Sarah for guidance, though. Aw. :(
The early scene of John flying the helicopter, then crashing the helicopter, then fighting the HALF A TERMINATOR (T1!!) was incredibly awesome. That was the scariest Terminator in the movie for me, that son of a bitch moved FAST. It's a special kind of awesomeness to see them fighting the old school endoskeletons because we literally haven't seen that since T1, and there were A LOT OF THEM in this.
Aside from that beginning, i didn't love the movie until they got to Skynet, everything there was ACE. Marcus syncing with the system and his robot vision shenanigans, John and Kyyyyyyyyyle!, UNCLE BOB!! <3 As obvious as it was that they didn't actually get Arnold to do anything for this, i thought he looked pretty good for what little we saw of him. All the running around in an industrial setting and trying to beat a killer robot with an obsolete robot protector and every time you think it's beaten it really really isn't was all so definitively Terminator. Plus i probably loved it because it was all my favorite characters in the movie in one place and none of the lame unnecessary ones! Also, futuristic Skynet labs and evil computers: i like them! :D
Another example of how SCC has ruined me: in pretty much all of Marcus and Kyle's scenes together, i was kind of replacing Marcus with Derek in my head. They had a sort of older brother-younger brother dynamic! IT IS JUST WHERE MY MIND GOES. REESES. :(
Haha from like the first scene on the sub i knew all those guys were toast. Oh really, John is NOT the #1 leader? Well let me guess, every other leader is going to die so that John IS the leader!
I found the ending to be weak as hell because it pretty much got us nowhere and felt unearned at that. They destroyed Skynet, but not all the way! So they ~*~live to fight another day~*~ ... REALLY? THAT'S IT? Then again i went into this knowing nothing but already thinking it would have no real story, so. I just thought something bigger than John getting a freaking heart transplant would happen. I even thought maybe John would die (who knew you could survive being impaled RIGHT IN THE CHEST with nothing but field medicine to heal you!) to be replaced by ROBOT JOHN or something, but that is just silly. (granted it would not make sense for John to die at all given that the whole reason Terminators got sent back in time in the first place is because future John is UNKILLABLE.) (..............like a robot??)
You know who i miss? Cameron. :(
I'm sure some disliked the amount of callback moments because there comes a point when it just seems lazy, but i enjoyed them a lot. The Sarah picture and her tapes! "Come with me if you want to live"! (I ALWAYS LOVE THAT LINE. ALWAYS.) John being a hacker! Motorcycles! John falling for the T-800's fake Kyle voice! Yeah, the final fight was pretty much the same as every other final fight in a Terminator movie, BUT IT WAS COOL. I even liked friggin "I'll be back", THAT'S SO DORKY but it made me smile. I didn't get Kyle's shotgun strap from T1 or Guns N' Roses and future John's scars from T2 without the internet telling me, but THAT'S AWESOME.
JOHN CONNOR JUMPED INTO THE OCEAN OUT OF A FUCKING HELICOPTER TO GET ON A FUCKING SUBMARINE. WHAT DID YOU DO TODAY?
I guess you could say it had its moments, albeit nothing revolutionary or thought-provoking. Fortunately all the terrible opinions i've seen really lowered my expectations (after originally thinking it would be terrible and then seeing cool previews and getting tricked into feeling way more optimistic!) and i thought it was better than all that. Just with an underlying essence of crappiness. A bouquet of suck, if you will. It's better if you just don't think about it! ROBOTS ARE COOL! The end.
Lost
5x14 - The Variable
DANIEL FREAKING DIED??!?!?! AFTER BEING SHOT BY HIS OWN MOTHER?!??! That's cold. I guess i should have seen that death coming considering how much they were kind of hitting all the bases of Daniel's unresolved issues on the island, and obviously when he said "any one of us could die" that should have been a big red flashing warning right there. Dang it, DANIEL! THAT SUCKS. Oh but surprise surprise, Widmore is his dad. Desmond and Daniel were in-laws and they never even knew it. :(
LOL at Kate trying to give Daniel a huge rifle and "do you have something for a beginner?" You kind of forget how much they've gotten used to using guns a lot. But boy they really screwed the pooch on escaping from the compound. That escalated quickly!
JACK AND KATE JUNGLE FUN TIMES!!! I MISSED THOSE.
5x15 - Follow the Leader
Kate being SUPER pissed at Jack because he wanted to erase everything that had happened to them was adorb. And sad. "It was NOT all misery." "Enough of it was." AWWWWWW. :( She was so hurt! He was so... vaguely apologetic yet uncompromising! THEIR FACES. :(((((( I get why he was so eager to believe Daniel's theory, but i still thought that was really super dumb on his part. THIS is what you finally decide to have faith in? Nuking the island with the distant hope of erasing your past? Gosh i wonder why none of that sounds remotely like it could have a good outcome! A+, JANITOR GUY. :|
I like young Eloise, she's neat. I mean, aside from the fact that she killed her own time-traveling son. O__O
Richard wandering around in both the 1977 scenes and the 2007 scenes gets really confusing. HE LOOKS EXACTLY THE SAME IN BOTH. WHAT YEAR IS THIS?!? WHERE AM I
Haha i love how awkward it was when Kate crashed the party on the sub. Sawyer and Juliet were so happy... and then Kate busts in. "HAY GUYS, WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT??! OH LOL HANDCUFFS, JUST LIKE OLD TIMES EH SAWYER?"
I love that Pierre Chang found them out (hilariously), including that Miles is his son. It's nice to have such a Dharma higher-up who knows the truth and is on their side!
Okay watching these episodes downloaded is disconcerting because they seem to go by waaaaaaay faster than the live airing. UNACCEPTABLE. I am trying to savor this shit and the episodes keep on freaking ending!
5x16 - The Incident, Parts 1&2
SO, THE SEASON FINALE.
THAT WAS SOME CRAZY SHIT.
I don't even know where to start. I guess we'd better hope the explosion worked at resetting history because if it didn't THEY'RE ALL DEAD, sooooo... UGH, the most frustrating anxiety-inducing part is having NO FREAKING CLUE where it will go from here! Like, i can't even begin to speculate. I would think that rebooting to Flight 815's original journey would be the end of the series. Unless the explosion did some weird thing that because of where it happened it remained contained by the energy pocket/vortex/black hole/fifth dimension/WHATEVER is down in that hole. (I AM TALKING NONSENSE) But even if it did THAT then Juliet is still dead for sure. Which makes me cry and cry and cryyyyyyyy. :( Daaaammmmmiiiiiiit her getting pulled into the pit was awful. JULIET! FUCK.
SO ANYWAY apart from having absolutely not even an inkling of what could possibly happen next season (AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH IT'S KILLING ME. WILL THEY BE RETELLING ALMOST EVERYTHING WE'VE SEEN HAPPEN ON THE SHOW TO DATE? WILL NOTHING MUCH HAVE CHANGED? WHO IS DEAD, WHO IS ALIVE? WHAT IS HAPPENING) uhh... stuff that actually occurred in the finale! Right!
Jacob??!!?!?!??!?!?? WTF, that guy... is an actual person! WHO KNEW. So in addition to hand-picking some of our people long before they came to the island (yeah, i saw him touch them all!), did he really bring Locke back to life after his building fall? Because that is what it looked like. Which is sooooo CHEATING. Based on context clues i am guessing that Jacob has something akin to Walt's abilities. And i guess they gave us our answer about whether the ghosties are Jacob or not, in that... they are not! They are the other guy! Who is currently being Locke! WHICH WWHHHHHHAAAAAATTTTT. (that would be why Alex's ghost told Ben to stop trying to kill Locke and follow his orders! Alex and Locke = played by the same ISLAND SPIRIT WHATEVER THE FUCK) Okay i guess it's silly that we so readily believed that Locke CAME BACK TO LIFE in the first place, but the island heals people and Locke was the chosen one! And also it is not really that silly when the alternative is having him be some sort of GHOST IMPERSONATOR. I figured the Shadow of the Statue people had SOMEBODY'S body in their box (because what else would you see that would be so immediately shocking?) but somehow it never crossed my mind that it would be Locke, ha. He seemed so much like Locke though, jeeeeeeez, i feel betrayed and confused. TWISTS!!!
Juliet starting the sub hijacking was awesome, i love her. Juliet, Kate, and Sawyer mounting the offensive to try and stop Jack and barricading the van was very cool. Jack and Sawyer's talk in the jungle made me nearly fall over because never did i dare to dream that Jack would ACTUALLY SAY that all this was because... he's in love with Kate?!??!?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? JACK YOU ARE SUCH A GIRL. It both makes me genuinely happy and makes me LOL endlessly because it's retarded. "I screwed things up with Kate therefore i want to blow up a nuclear bomb and reset our lives so that we've never met AND THEN MAYBE WE CAN GO ON A DATE, YOU DON'T KNOW, I'LL DO WHAT I WANT!" That. is. AMAZING. The Jack/Sawyer deathmatch was pretty hardcore, it was awesome and Jack definitely got the worst of it. ...Okay so pretty much i can't stop laughing that Sawyer kicked him in the crotch. RIGHT IN THE BALLS. That is UNDIGNIFIED. Honestly i'm completely surprised i never got spoiled by animated .gifs of that all over the internet! Jack getting kicked in the balls!!!!!!! INTERNET, THIS IS RELEVANT TO YOUR INTERESTS!
LOL running around with a nuclear core in a backpack, we've come a long way and yet surprisingly not far at all from dynamite in the season one finale (going to the Swan station and everything!). Aww.
GUN BATTLES!!! They do a lot of them now!
Hey, Rose and Bernard and Vincent! They still exist! That was a nice resolution, i've never been the biggest fan of them (has anyone?) but their zen-like attitude and general disdain for the ridiculousness our main characters go through all the time was refreshing. I genuinely felt sad when Juliet turned down Bernard's offer of tea because you could tell she wanted to stay. :(
MILES!!!! "Well i'm glad you all thought this through." AHAHAHAHA. I LOVE THAT GUY. He did indeed make an excellent point, and it could still play out that way, that The Incident has always been what they just did. But i am inclined to think that a nuclear explosion would have greater repercussions than simply an "incident". Honestly i kind of don't WANT the timeline to reset though. I really appreciate consistent time travel that doesn't allow you to change things, and up to this point Lost has remained consistent.
Baby Kate was a really good lookalike, i'm always impressed by stuff like that (OH HAI BABY SPOCK :D). I'm a little annoyed that we finally saw the surgery that Jack told Kate about when they first met, simply because the counting to five was lame. His DAD made him do it?! I thought that was just what he did when he got scared! LAME. MISREPRESENTATION. And Nadia's death was super lame; not only is the surprise-getting-hit-by-a-vehicle totally played out in everything and so obvious when it's going to happen (OH SOMEBODY IS IN A STREET? THEY ARE PROBABLY ABRUPTLY GOING TO GET HIT BY A VEHICLE), but they've even already done that on Lost! SHEESH.
The identity of the statue is interesting! I guess that would be why giving birth on the island is such an issue: they've got a friggin BUSTED statue of a fertility goddess! (DUH, why didn't we think of that before?! IT'S SO OBVIOUS.) :B
There were like five times during the episode that i really thought Jack and Kate were going to kiss (and i'm pretty sure they meant to!) and then they... didn't. But aww, they love each other. Kate came around to his way of thinking... just 'cause! Apparently that's what love is. I liked it when she unsuccessfully tried to wipe some of the buckets of blood off of his face. :) Bringing up their first meeting in the pilot YET AGAIN was too obvious for me, but i also love recalling their first meeting so i'll let it slide. It was pretty lame that immediately after Jack admitted his feelings about Kate was when Juliet broke up with Sawyer because of Kate. OKAY, EVERYBODY'S STILL IN LOVE WITH KATE, GOTCHA. :P
Oh, i guess all of them "dying" in the explosion (but really resetting to a different timeline) would explain why Richard told Sun he watched them all die. And if they DO reset to a different timeline, will the 2007 people remain in their own separate, unaffected timeline? So that 2007 Sun will never again meet Jin? :((( But see apparently Jacob dying changes everything too, so with the explosion and Jacob's death occurring at the same point (narratively, if not chronologically) there are two highly unpredictable variables entering into this and i have no idea what the effect of either is going to beeeeeeeeeeeee.
UGGGGH, I AM SO UPSET ABOUT JULIET. Just... everything! Generally! I don't want her to die! But i don't want things to go back the way they were so she's stuck on the island with Ben and never meets our people. And i'm sad about her and Sawyer, and her final "i love you" to him (CRYYYY). I'm SUPER SAD about her lying broken at the bottom of the pit and finally heroically detonating the bomb. I'm sad about Kate/Juliet, and i'm sad about Jack/Juliet because WOW that feels like a long time ago. I AM SAD ABOUT JULIET. THE LAST SCENE HURTS ME IN MY HEART. :C This explosion is so much less ambiguous than the time Desmond blew up the hatch and i thought he died! IF THIS THING HAPPENED THEN JULIET IS DEFINITELY DEAD. But hey maybe i'm wrong and she's merrily skipping through time. RIGHT?!??!? YEAH! LET'S GO WITH THAT!
;_____;
So i'm glad we got back into the old tried and true formula of Lost season finales being FUCKING CRAZY. Only one season left! I'M SCARED. I DO NOT KNOW WHAT I'LL DO WHEN IT'S OVER. I am really not used to shows getting a real ending when i still love them! FUCK, i love Lost more (or... differently?) now than i even did in the glory days of season one! WHAT SHOWS HAVE THEIR BEST SEASONS AT THE END??!?! NONE. NONE SHOWS. Never in my wildest imaginings did i think it would become this much of a convoluted sci-fi mess of awesomeness. It's enough to bring a tear to the eye. A single, nerdy tear.
THIS POST HAS TOO MANY WORDS.