(Untitled)

[toast_toitalics]

 Prometheus:
it's not even the liver,
the loss of 
the energy needed,
the pierce, the wound, the rot, 
the talons, the liver.

It's the sweat, beading behind cuffs and chaffing, gnawwing at the bone because no matter how often it comes, it screaches, I anticipate, you can't not want to pull away. Resist the restraints and rely on that boulder for

Comments

[dknjoy]

Prometheus:
it's not even the liver,
the loss of
the energy needed,
the pierce, the wound, the rot,
the talons, the liver.

Awk- 'the energy needed,' and 'the loss of' to a lesser degree

also, you should work in a pun on 'liver' and 'alive'

It's the sweat, beading behind cuffs, and chaffing, gnawwing at bone, because no matter how often it comes, how much you anticipate it, you can't not want to pull away.

I like the ideas, and the first lines. The end half could be more creative (targets- anticipate, can't not).

Resist the restraints and rely on that boulder for leverage.
'that' is a little much (lol)

I was a Titan, once. When the world was large enough for me--plenty enough for man to eat meat, cooked by fire. It's that the passing of time is marked by molted feathers, rotting.I like these edits (I would have said take out 'meat and potatoes man,' lol). It feels like there's a sentence/thought missing between "fire" and "It's." Idk what that is, but I do like the recurrence of 'rot' at the end of this stanza (as at the

[toast_toitalics]

the prompt is "make a poem based on myth, etc."

the idea is poem told from POV of prometheus, liver, eagle, pandora, zeus, maybe man....

the prose is as if he had been thinking about this for eternity, and could now verbalize it, as if it were a speech.the "poem" is his concentration on the pain? but i really don't like his voice, at all, in prose. and i don't like this poem, at all, right now.