(no subject)
ok i dont do this and i hope its not going to be expected of me..still here goes.
i was emailed a day ago by a friend still in high school..truely brilliant student..overworked and taxed to the max. she was bemoaning the fact that she had to study cellular respiration. the "most boring subject in the world". she was uninterested in cellular processes. I had to dis-abuse her of the notion there are boring subjects..here is what i wrote her.
sorry it wasnt brief. which is why i dont enter stuff. i tend to er...ramble...
any way i spent a year or two doing biology lab (and redoing the very old prof. lectures since he had an even worse tendency to er...ramble.
i was not a biologist. nor a scientist..i was a history major turned potter turned grad student in my thirties...so...here is my letter.
Regard the photo-synthetic formula: 12H2O + 6CO2 + mr sun ---> 6O2 + C6 H12O6 +
6H2O (note that its balanced and everything! I was going to leave it unbalanced,
but i am feeling particularly scientific today) See when i taught botany way
back in grad
school (that answers your question as to why i know about
respiration....hopefully i can remember enough to not embarrass myself), i used
to have my students memorize
this formula... the lab we did was to take an aquatic plant, invert a test tube
over it and subject the poor creature to sunlight...and lo there were tiny
bubbles emitted from the leafy green plant and were gathered in the test tube..)
"now what " i would ask " are these tiny bubbles? "AIR!" came the reply.
"so sad.." i would say..."looks like we are going to have to sing....."
"GROAN, NOT AGAIN" from the class ...yes i made them sing,dance and recite
poetry often...
...then i would sing that great song by the Hawaiian crooner Don Ho...'TINY
BUBBLES.....IN THE WATER....MAKES ME HAPPY..CMON SING WITH ME!.." and i would
proceed to teach them the song and have them do it in a round with dada la das
between sentences and to keep the beat (yes i was/am entertained by the notion
of being able to get people who were dependent on me for a grade to do stupid
tricks...i am NOT ashamed.). If you are interested, you can hear it in its
original format here...you really should go here before continuing just to get
you in the mood....
http://www.donho.com/
ok now we may proceed
There was method to this madness of course as you have already surmised..you
"what state has lots of sunshine is completely surrounded by water?" (note the
presence of water on both ends of the equation..clever eh?) "FLORIDA"..."I said
completely!" "HAWAII!" (at this point i give the person answering this a bonus
point on their homework: a shameless gratuity - it amounted to 1/100th of their
homework grade which was only 1/10th of their class grade.. thus there was a
great likelihood that it made absolutely no difference in their grades
whatsoever, but they would scramble for the points i gave out like candy to
sugar starved 3 year olds...i was grateful these weren't math majors..but i
digress.)
And the most famous singer in Hawaii? (silence)..."we just sang His song...."
"DON HO" screams the student (YES POINT FOR YOU!) (applause AND cheers break out
for that student by another student) "TWO POINTS FOR YOU!!! (My students also
received points for celebrating the knowledge of others)...mind you this is a
college botany course and the points again are WORTHLESS, still i had trained
them well, so now they were performing with their usual enthusiasm..singing
always helps loosen academics up i have found...anyway the excitement is
beginning to reach a feverish pitch...
"Take out the numbers and the formula looks like: (i write on the chalk board
the following)
HO + CO + mr sun ---> O + CHO + HO
"thus the reason for the song is obvious...spell out our formula and it reveals
the secret hidden message laid out centuries ago....say it out loud ho co o cho
ho"
"HO CO O CHO HO!!!" they scream with glee...and repeat it over and over...for
they like illiterations...
"and what, you may ask does it mean?" "WHAT DOES IT MEAN" (YES, 3 POINTS FOR
BEING A GOOD STRAITWOMAN!!)
"It means...'we are all just part of the carbon cycle' in one of the rarer
Hawaiian dialects...but this is not a language lesson, its science, so lets
move on..."
"Are there plants in Hawaii?" "YES!" they scream..."any of them trees?" "YES!
THE
PALM TREE!" "which is a...?" "MONOCOT!!!"(no harm in reviewing previous lessons)
"YES! not your average tree..but it has fruit...which is? " "COCONUTS!!" "YES
THOSE FLOATING SEEDS...YOU BET WITH THE...? "MONKEY FACE!" (dont ask, just know
that there was more points, more clapping the crowd is now beside themselves
with the bliss of learning for they had actually remembered clues to identifying
monocot plants)
How many o's in coconuts? "TWO!" (ANOTHER POINT GRANTED!) "WHOO! WHOO!" (FIVE
POINTS FOR USING YOUR FIST IN THE AIR) "How many syllables in Don Ho?" "TWO!!"
They love the easy answers, it boosts their confidence and the onlookers go
wild..(points all around).
"...so LETS PUT IT ALL TOGETHER! The first half of this situation is two applied
to coconuts and two every Don Ho..who sits in the sunshine in hawaii right?
"RIGHT!" they shout "yea!, don H20 + CO2conuts + mr sun...WHAT EVER YOU DO, DONT
FORGET MR. SUNSHINE!, I PUNISH HARSHLY FOR FOGETING MR. SUN..HE IS OUR FRIEND
AND WE DONT FORGET OUR FRIENDS!")
Time to test them....
"NOW CLOSE YOUR EYES WHAT DO YOU SEE!... "NOTHING!" Ah they have learned well by
now not to fall for that one...i am now in teacher Nirvana because they have
found the Wa..."what is the first half of the formula..?"
"H2O PLUS CO2 IN THE PRESENCE OF MR SUNSHINE!!" "YES ONCE MORE" "H2O PLUS CO2 IN
THE PRESENCE OF MR SUNSHINE!!"
"YES! FIVE BIG ONES FOR THE WHOLE CLASS!!!! LETS BRING IT ON HOME!!"
"What ARE the results of this sunshine and coconuts and Don Ho?
"what was his hit again?"
a girl exclaims "TINY BUBBLES!" (POINTS FOR YOU!) "sing it and you get two more
points" she was a cute blonde if i recall, education major.."tiny bubbles..." I
CANT HEAR YOU, "TINY BUBBLES" "YES YES TINY BUBBLES INDEED! I LIED, YOU GET 5
POINTS!)" she beams. Yes and so what is that tiny bubble of which whatsherface
(i have sadly forgotten her name) so lovingly sang?"
"OXYGEN!!!!!"
"YES! gone is the silly notion that its just 'AIR' I AM pleased with you!" (and
3 pointS were randomly applied to several people...just for the ones who were
clapping though...cant be too generous with the points they will catch
on....note: random points usually went the shy cute girls..because they just
make the world a better place..again i digress)
"and now the big finish....what is the main agricultural export other than
marijuana, and pinapples in Hawaii" (dead silence...) "cmon people...we learned
this in first grade...its sugar-cane!" (I have
no idea if they grow sugar-cane or marijuana for that matter, maybe the natives
really are happy and content in paradise, but who cares? at this point the air
is thick with education)
"and what do we all know the formula for?" "SUGAR?" (yes two points for you!!!)
another "WHOO WHOO," (YOU TOO!) "And what do we also know sugar as?" "GLUCOSE!"
"which turns to...?" "STARCH" (yes 5 points for that because its a hard word!)
"which is used by the plant for.....?" "FOOD!" "Sooo, whats don ho chewin on as
he watches the tiny bubbles?" "GLUCOSE!"
"Oh NO! Don ho doesnt sit in the sunshine by the sea watching tiny bubbles
eating GLUCOSE! He eats sugar-cane! i mean look at his teeth!...dont be
silly...(groans...they felt so clever and were salivating on the thought of big
points) ok ok if you want to call it glucose you can..but i'm tellin you it just
doesnt look kosher to me thats all i am saying...so its Don Ho by the sea eating
sugar er glucose?" "YES!" "ok then how do we spell sea with one letter? "C" (YES
ANOTHER POINT FOR YOU, YOURE CLEVER) C + HO fill in the numbers C6H1206 and
there are what in the what? SING IT WITH ME NOW....by groups in a AS WE
REHEARSED!
GROUP 1: "TINY BUBBLES"
GROUP2 DADA LA DA...DADA LA DA...
GROUP 1: "IN THE WATER..."
GROUP2 DADA LA DA...DADA LA DA...
GROUP 1: MAKES ME HAPPY"
GROUP2 DADALA DADALA DA...
"THATS DON HO CHEWIN ON GLUCOSE BY THE SEA AS C6H12O6, WATCHIN TINY BUBBLES AS
O2 IN THE WATER AS H20! RIGHT?" "RIGHT!" as little light bulbs go on above there
heads....
"close your eyes again....So whats the whole formula? in HAWAIIAN?" "HO CO O CHO
HO"
"NOW UNBALANCED..YOU UNBALANCED LOT..."
"H20 PLUS CO2 IN THE PRESENCE OF MR SUN MAKES O2 PLUS C6H1206 PLUS H20!"
this little act was repeated for four more classes...each with similar if not
identical reactions...it was somewhat amazing to watch...still, they were
enlightened. ..and suddenly they came to realize that photosynthesis was not
boring..nor was respiration...but we will have to leave that for some other
time...
and oh the results of all this...no one in my 4 classes, thats 120 students give
or take...missed this or any other question on photo-synthesis..no other classes
came close to this, not even the botany grad students classes...take home
lessons,
1. you dont have to know to teach...
2. give out meaningless points...they are better than gold stars or stickers...
3. make them sing. and dance and do the wave if you have to...
and so, as the sun sets slowly in the west, we bid a fond aloha to those days
long gone,
hope your studies in cellular mechanics leads you to as many pleasant memories.
oh just heard you will be over tonight..too cool...
until that joyous moment,
i remain
chloroplastically yours,
toar
oh and a shout out to typsygypsy...my favorite girl.
i was emailed a day ago by a friend still in high school..truely brilliant student..overworked and taxed to the max. she was bemoaning the fact that she had to study cellular respiration. the "most boring subject in the world". she was uninterested in cellular processes. I had to dis-abuse her of the notion there are boring subjects..here is what i wrote her.
sorry it wasnt brief. which is why i dont enter stuff. i tend to er...ramble...
any way i spent a year or two doing biology lab (and redoing the very old prof. lectures since he had an even worse tendency to er...ramble.
i was not a biologist. nor a scientist..i was a history major turned potter turned grad student in my thirties...so...here is my letter.
Regard the photo-synthetic formula: 12H2O + 6CO2 + mr sun ---> 6O2 + C6 H12O6 +
6H2O (note that its balanced and everything! I was going to leave it unbalanced,
but i am feeling particularly scientific today) See when i taught botany way
back in grad
school (that answers your question as to why i know about
respiration....hopefully i can remember enough to not embarrass myself), i used
to have my students memorize
this formula... the lab we did was to take an aquatic plant, invert a test tube
over it and subject the poor creature to sunlight...and lo there were tiny
bubbles emitted from the leafy green plant and were gathered in the test tube..)
"now what " i would ask " are these tiny bubbles? "AIR!" came the reply.
"so sad.." i would say..."looks like we are going to have to sing....."
"GROAN, NOT AGAIN" from the class ...yes i made them sing,dance and recite
poetry often...
...then i would sing that great song by the Hawaiian crooner Don Ho...'TINY
BUBBLES.....IN THE WATER....MAKES ME HAPPY..CMON SING WITH ME!.." and i would
proceed to teach them the song and have them do it in a round with dada la das
between sentences and to keep the beat (yes i was/am entertained by the notion
of being able to get people who were dependent on me for a grade to do stupid
tricks...i am NOT ashamed.). If you are interested, you can hear it in its
original format here...you really should go here before continuing just to get
you in the mood....
http://www.donho.com/
ok now we may proceed
There was method to this madness of course as you have already surmised..you
"what state has lots of sunshine is completely surrounded by water?" (note the
presence of water on both ends of the equation..clever eh?) "FLORIDA"..."I said
completely!" "HAWAII!" (at this point i give the person answering this a bonus
point on their homework: a shameless gratuity - it amounted to 1/100th of their
homework grade which was only 1/10th of their class grade.. thus there was a
great likelihood that it made absolutely no difference in their grades
whatsoever, but they would scramble for the points i gave out like candy to
sugar starved 3 year olds...i was grateful these weren't math majors..but i
digress.)
And the most famous singer in Hawaii? (silence)..."we just sang His song...."
"DON HO" screams the student (YES POINT FOR YOU!) (applause AND cheers break out
for that student by another student) "TWO POINTS FOR YOU!!! (My students also
received points for celebrating the knowledge of others)...mind you this is a
college botany course and the points again are WORTHLESS, still i had trained
them well, so now they were performing with their usual enthusiasm..singing
always helps loosen academics up i have found...anyway the excitement is
beginning to reach a feverish pitch...
"Take out the numbers and the formula looks like: (i write on the chalk board
the following)
HO + CO + mr sun ---> O + CHO + HO
"thus the reason for the song is obvious...spell out our formula and it reveals
the secret hidden message laid out centuries ago....say it out loud ho co o cho
ho"
"HO CO O CHO HO!!!" they scream with glee...and repeat it over and over...for
they like illiterations...
"and what, you may ask does it mean?" "WHAT DOES IT MEAN" (YES, 3 POINTS FOR
BEING A GOOD STRAITWOMAN!!)
"It means...'we are all just part of the carbon cycle' in one of the rarer
Hawaiian dialects...but this is not a language lesson, its science, so lets
move on..."
"Are there plants in Hawaii?" "YES!" they scream..."any of them trees?" "YES!
THE
PALM TREE!" "which is a...?" "MONOCOT!!!"(no harm in reviewing previous lessons)
"YES! not your average tree..but it has fruit...which is? " "COCONUTS!!" "YES
THOSE FLOATING SEEDS...YOU BET WITH THE...? "MONKEY FACE!" (dont ask, just know
that there was more points, more clapping the crowd is now beside themselves
with the bliss of learning for they had actually remembered clues to identifying
monocot plants)
How many o's in coconuts? "TWO!" (ANOTHER POINT GRANTED!) "WHOO! WHOO!" (FIVE
POINTS FOR USING YOUR FIST IN THE AIR) "How many syllables in Don Ho?" "TWO!!"
They love the easy answers, it boosts their confidence and the onlookers go
wild..(points all around).
"...so LETS PUT IT ALL TOGETHER! The first half of this situation is two applied
to coconuts and two every Don Ho..who sits in the sunshine in hawaii right?
"RIGHT!" they shout "yea!, don H20 + CO2conuts + mr sun...WHAT EVER YOU DO, DONT
FORGET MR. SUNSHINE!, I PUNISH HARSHLY FOR FOGETING MR. SUN..HE IS OUR FRIEND
AND WE DONT FORGET OUR FRIENDS!")
Time to test them....
"NOW CLOSE YOUR EYES WHAT DO YOU SEE!... "NOTHING!" Ah they have learned well by
now not to fall for that one...i am now in teacher Nirvana because they have
found the Wa..."what is the first half of the formula..?"
"H2O PLUS CO2 IN THE PRESENCE OF MR SUNSHINE!!" "YES ONCE MORE" "H2O PLUS CO2 IN
THE PRESENCE OF MR SUNSHINE!!"
"YES! FIVE BIG ONES FOR THE WHOLE CLASS!!!! LETS BRING IT ON HOME!!"
"What ARE the results of this sunshine and coconuts and Don Ho?
"what was his hit again?"
a girl exclaims "TINY BUBBLES!" (POINTS FOR YOU!) "sing it and you get two more
points" she was a cute blonde if i recall, education major.."tiny bubbles..." I
CANT HEAR YOU, "TINY BUBBLES" "YES YES TINY BUBBLES INDEED! I LIED, YOU GET 5
POINTS!)" she beams. Yes and so what is that tiny bubble of which whatsherface
(i have sadly forgotten her name) so lovingly sang?"
"OXYGEN!!!!!"
"YES! gone is the silly notion that its just 'AIR' I AM pleased with you!" (and
3 pointS were randomly applied to several people...just for the ones who were
clapping though...cant be too generous with the points they will catch
on....note: random points usually went the shy cute girls..because they just
make the world a better place..again i digress)
"and now the big finish....what is the main agricultural export other than
marijuana, and pinapples in Hawaii" (dead silence...) "cmon people...we learned
this in first grade...its sugar-cane!" (I have
no idea if they grow sugar-cane or marijuana for that matter, maybe the natives
really are happy and content in paradise, but who cares? at this point the air
is thick with education)
"and what do we all know the formula for?" "SUGAR?" (yes two points for you!!!)
another "WHOO WHOO," (YOU TOO!) "And what do we also know sugar as?" "GLUCOSE!"
"which turns to...?" "STARCH" (yes 5 points for that because its a hard word!)
"which is used by the plant for.....?" "FOOD!" "Sooo, whats don ho chewin on as
he watches the tiny bubbles?" "GLUCOSE!"
"Oh NO! Don ho doesnt sit in the sunshine by the sea watching tiny bubbles
eating GLUCOSE! He eats sugar-cane! i mean look at his teeth!...dont be
silly...(groans...they felt so clever and were salivating on the thought of big
points) ok ok if you want to call it glucose you can..but i'm tellin you it just
doesnt look kosher to me thats all i am saying...so its Don Ho by the sea eating
sugar er glucose?" "YES!" "ok then how do we spell sea with one letter? "C" (YES
ANOTHER POINT FOR YOU, YOURE CLEVER) C + HO fill in the numbers C6H1206 and
there are what in the what? SING IT WITH ME NOW....by groups in a AS WE
REHEARSED!
GROUP 1: "TINY BUBBLES"
GROUP2 DADA LA DA...DADA LA DA...
GROUP 1: "IN THE WATER..."
GROUP2 DADA LA DA...DADA LA DA...
GROUP 1: MAKES ME HAPPY"
GROUP2 DADALA DADALA DA...
"THATS DON HO CHEWIN ON GLUCOSE BY THE SEA AS C6H12O6, WATCHIN TINY BUBBLES AS
O2 IN THE WATER AS H20! RIGHT?" "RIGHT!" as little light bulbs go on above there
heads....
"close your eyes again....So whats the whole formula? in HAWAIIAN?" "HO CO O CHO
HO"
"NOW UNBALANCED..YOU UNBALANCED LOT..."
"H20 PLUS CO2 IN THE PRESENCE OF MR SUN MAKES O2 PLUS C6H1206 PLUS H20!"
this little act was repeated for four more classes...each with similar if not
identical reactions...it was somewhat amazing to watch...still, they were
enlightened. ..and suddenly they came to realize that photosynthesis was not
boring..nor was respiration...but we will have to leave that for some other
time...
and oh the results of all this...no one in my 4 classes, thats 120 students give
or take...missed this or any other question on photo-synthesis..no other classes
came close to this, not even the botany grad students classes...take home
lessons,
1. you dont have to know to teach...
2. give out meaningless points...they are better than gold stars or stickers...
3. make them sing. and dance and do the wave if you have to...
and so, as the sun sets slowly in the west, we bid a fond aloha to those days
long gone,
hope your studies in cellular mechanics leads you to as many pleasant memories.
oh just heard you will be over tonight..too cool...
until that joyous moment,
i remain
chloroplastically yours,
toar
oh and a shout out to typsygypsy...my favorite girl.