Memories of the day that changed our lives
"I hear people saying we don't need this war I say there's some things worth fighting for What about our freedom and this piece of ground? We didn't get to keep them by backing down They say we don't realize the mess we're getting in Before you start your preaching let me ask you this my friend- Have you forgotten how it felt that day? To see your homeland under fire and her people blown away? Have you forgotten when those towers fell? We had neighbors still inside going through a living hell And you say we shouldn't worry about bin Laden Have you forgotten? They took all the footage off my T.V. Said it's too disturbing for you and me It'll just breed anger that's what the experts say If it was up to me I'd show it everyday Some say this country's just out looking for a fight After 9/11 man I'd have to say that's right (repeat chorus) I've been there with the soldiers who've gone away to war and you can bet that they remember just what they're fighting for (repeat chorus) Have you forgotten all the people killed? Some went down like heros in that Pennsylvania field Have you forgotten about our Pentagon? All the loved ones that we lost and those left to carry on Don't you tell me not to worry about bin Laden Have you forgotten?"
Well, as you all know, today is September 11. Five years have passed since the vile, horrific attacks by radical islam terrorists on American soil. In a way, I'm upset by the seemingly big deal that is being made of THIS particular anniversary yet in a way understand. Where were all these tributes, moments of silence, re-evaluations on what has changed since then...etc. on the first, second, third and fourth anniversaries? Why the fifth? But honestly I don't think many people are patient enough to so deeply remember those tragic events each year...and thus only make a big deal of it on the "big" years. That's just an opinion though. Personally I believe that we should all deeply reflect and remember the intensity and severity of that day at a very minimum, once a year, on the anniversary. I think that it is neccisary to keep in mind both the evil and the good of that time. The evil being the radical scumbags that attacked us and brought us directly into a war on islamic terrorism and made the common American more aware of their existance and their evil aspirations. I think that we need to keep in mind and refresh each year the knowledge that we ARE in a war, which they started, and that if we don't continue to fight it- even though victory will NOT be as swift and as easy as some would prefer- they WILL kill us or change all of life as we know it. Read any quotes from Iran's president lately? They want to conquer western civilization completely. I think we need to constantly remember that in order to stay focused and motivated in the fight against those who would destroy us or support those who would. But we should also reflect and remember often the good which was brought about by those evil events. Americans united together in sorrow and in strength and for at least a while, seemed to care more about others than themselves. They sacrificed time and money for others and there was a newfound wave of patriotism and support for this nation that passed far too quickly. We need to remember that great American spirit and try to do all we can to keep it alive, especially during this great war which we are fighting and which I think will only become worse as both sides become bolder and more aggresive.
I've heard, and agree, that that was our generation's "defining moment." Our moment of infamy, our own Pearl Harbor. That for the rest of our lives, we will remember exactly where we were when we heard the tragic news and how we reacted to it. Going back to the first I remember of that morning- it was dark. As my mom, sister and I were pulling out of our cul-de-sac on Ft. Lewis, WA and began driving down the street, we were listening to the radio. WARM I think...106.9. The morning DJ was talking about how it was National 9-1-1 day or something...maybe National Safety Day...but something of that effect. Then, about 15 or 20 minutes later we were just pulling into the church's parking lot in Lakewood when I first realized they had interupted the music and began talking about a plane hitting the WTC in New York or something...I didn't know exactly what they were saying and the announcers were obviously confused as well. I think they mentioned that it was unsure whether it was an accident or an attack of some kind. But that is the first I heard anything about it. Then next thing I remember is being at school, out on the front sidewalk near the tree and I had heard everyone else talking about it and from that had more of an idea what was going on. That there were two planes and that it was most likely a terrorist attack. I remember trying to talk to my boyfriend Eric at the time and being extremely worried that with my dad still being in the Army he would be sent off somewhere to fight. Even before I had heard all of the president's speeches at the time I knew that America was going to fight back and get whoever was responsible. I was frusterated because I felt as though Eric was just brushing me off instead of (what I really wanted) just holding me and telling me it would be okay. The next few days are a blur. Personally, I remember trying to devour as much news as I possibly could. My history teacher hung newspaper clippings on a board in the classroom that I would get up and read when possible, I was still babysitting regularly after school for Lauren and remember watching the news in her apartment, taking notes of what I learned in a notebook and expressing my feelings. I remember her saying that if it weren't for her being a mother and having a young child to look after she would join the military immediately. What happened to those feelings of determination and american pride and being ready to stand up and defend our country and our freedoms at any cost? Oh, I guess reality set in and people realized that with all war, even one which was initiated unjustly by others that there were risks and that some people might die. I salute, support, honor and am grateful for those who are brave enough to still go and fight for this country and the life that we all seem to enjoy and love. In the Steilacoom High School choir, Mr. Brummond tried to find as many ways as possible to incorporate the newfound American spirit and pride into our performances. The shirts we had made for that year had small American flags on the right or left (I forgot which exactly) sleeve. Many of the songs were patriotic in nature- Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy, God Bless America, God Bless the USA, and Johnny has Gone for a Soldier are the ones I remember, but I'm sure there were more. Later that year the choirs (at least the one I was in- first level women's choir) shot a special Patriotic chorale program with patriotic songs at Clover Park Tec College which later aired on t.v. Local or national I don't remember. The best thing I remember the choir doing is that for our first football game of the year, Mr. Brummond got someone to bring in a few full size American flags and poles and they were set up at various points around the football field like on the sides or something (I'm pretty sure this happened. I remember us discussing it in choir at least but when writing a journal as serious as this I keep second guessing myself to make sure it's as accurate as can be). Then, at some point during the game, I think the choir started and that eventually everyone there joined in singing God Bless America. I just remember standing on the side of the bleachers and feeling an overwhelming pride and determination and power...belting out with the crowd, "God Bless America..." It was amazing. Over the next few weeks or months I remember trying to help and show my patriotism by buying a couple patriotic CD's, a black metal braclet enscribed with "Always Remember, Never Forget" as well as the areas all four planes hit and the date 9/11, a sweatshirt that I think said "God Bless America" (which I regrettably later lost in a hotel room on a band trip in Yakima WA) and a tee shirt at a vendor set up at a school football game that said "Proud to be an American." Other phrases I remember from shirts, hats, bumper stickers etc. that I saw on display at the PX include "These colors don't run" and "Support America or get the hell out!" Lastly, from that time, I remember the feeling of unity, support, and patriotism from all citizens. For the first few weeks it was common to see people on bridges and street corners holding signs saying "God Bless America" and the like. There were flowers there in memory of the lives lost and many if not most of the cars passing by would honk to show their support and pride. It was unlike anything I had ever known and it faded too quickly. I wish that Americans were not so easily distracted and forgetful and would remember how we felt then...how we all came together as Americans and would try to do so now as well.
As my last part of this entry...now is my time to reflect on a more personal note. I really haven't done much with myself or my life since 9/11. If I had asked myself then, at 14, where I wanted to be in 5 years I would have said something like weight lost, in shape, in college, graduated from HS and seminary, license...I'm not at all what I pictured I'd be...and I know most of that is my fault. I don't want to look back in another 5 years and still not have any of the goals I now envision for myself completed. Sure I've moved slightly forward since I was 14, GED, permit, spiritually, etc. but I'm definitely not where I WANTED to be. I need to change that. I need to ACT. I need to get myself back on track spiritually (nothing major...just go to church more...pray...have the spirit on a regular basis and truly FEEL it again and not just going through the motions) and get my life completely on track in more secular matters. I want to become who I want to be, do what I both need and want to do, and in some way contribute to the world at large and do my part to help in these troubled times- whether that is simply being a righteous mother and raising many kids as good, contributing citizens or something on a larger or more noticable scale...I want to help and do MY part. I believe that I can...I just need to do so. Anyway...that's my "tribute" if you will.
Well, as you all know, today is September 11. Five years have passed since the vile, horrific attacks by radical islam terrorists on American soil. In a way, I'm upset by the seemingly big deal that is being made of THIS particular anniversary yet in a way understand. Where were all these tributes, moments of silence, re-evaluations on what has changed since then...etc. on the first, second, third and fourth anniversaries? Why the fifth? But honestly I don't think many people are patient enough to so deeply remember those tragic events each year...and thus only make a big deal of it on the "big" years. That's just an opinion though. Personally I believe that we should all deeply reflect and remember the intensity and severity of that day at a very minimum, once a year, on the anniversary. I think that it is neccisary to keep in mind both the evil and the good of that time. The evil being the radical scumbags that attacked us and brought us directly into a war on islamic terrorism and made the common American more aware of their existance and their evil aspirations. I think that we need to keep in mind and refresh each year the knowledge that we ARE in a war, which they started, and that if we don't continue to fight it- even though victory will NOT be as swift and as easy as some would prefer- they WILL kill us or change all of life as we know it. Read any quotes from Iran's president lately? They want to conquer western civilization completely. I think we need to constantly remember that in order to stay focused and motivated in the fight against those who would destroy us or support those who would. But we should also reflect and remember often the good which was brought about by those evil events. Americans united together in sorrow and in strength and for at least a while, seemed to care more about others than themselves. They sacrificed time and money for others and there was a newfound wave of patriotism and support for this nation that passed far too quickly. We need to remember that great American spirit and try to do all we can to keep it alive, especially during this great war which we are fighting and which I think will only become worse as both sides become bolder and more aggresive.
I've heard, and agree, that that was our generation's "defining moment." Our moment of infamy, our own Pearl Harbor. That for the rest of our lives, we will remember exactly where we were when we heard the tragic news and how we reacted to it. Going back to the first I remember of that morning- it was dark. As my mom, sister and I were pulling out of our cul-de-sac on Ft. Lewis, WA and began driving down the street, we were listening to the radio. WARM I think...106.9. The morning DJ was talking about how it was National 9-1-1 day or something...maybe National Safety Day...but something of that effect. Then, about 15 or 20 minutes later we were just pulling into the church's parking lot in Lakewood when I first realized they had interupted the music and began talking about a plane hitting the WTC in New York or something...I didn't know exactly what they were saying and the announcers were obviously confused as well. I think they mentioned that it was unsure whether it was an accident or an attack of some kind. But that is the first I heard anything about it. Then next thing I remember is being at school, out on the front sidewalk near the tree and I had heard everyone else talking about it and from that had more of an idea what was going on. That there were two planes and that it was most likely a terrorist attack. I remember trying to talk to my boyfriend Eric at the time and being extremely worried that with my dad still being in the Army he would be sent off somewhere to fight. Even before I had heard all of the president's speeches at the time I knew that America was going to fight back and get whoever was responsible. I was frusterated because I felt as though Eric was just brushing me off instead of (what I really wanted) just holding me and telling me it would be okay. The next few days are a blur. Personally, I remember trying to devour as much news as I possibly could. My history teacher hung newspaper clippings on a board in the classroom that I would get up and read when possible, I was still babysitting regularly after school for Lauren and remember watching the news in her apartment, taking notes of what I learned in a notebook and expressing my feelings. I remember her saying that if it weren't for her being a mother and having a young child to look after she would join the military immediately. What happened to those feelings of determination and american pride and being ready to stand up and defend our country and our freedoms at any cost? Oh, I guess reality set in and people realized that with all war, even one which was initiated unjustly by others that there were risks and that some people might die. I salute, support, honor and am grateful for those who are brave enough to still go and fight for this country and the life that we all seem to enjoy and love. In the Steilacoom High School choir, Mr. Brummond tried to find as many ways as possible to incorporate the newfound American spirit and pride into our performances. The shirts we had made for that year had small American flags on the right or left (I forgot which exactly) sleeve. Many of the songs were patriotic in nature- Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy, God Bless America, God Bless the USA, and Johnny has Gone for a Soldier are the ones I remember, but I'm sure there were more. Later that year the choirs (at least the one I was in- first level women's choir) shot a special Patriotic chorale program with patriotic songs at Clover Park Tec College which later aired on t.v. Local or national I don't remember. The best thing I remember the choir doing is that for our first football game of the year, Mr. Brummond got someone to bring in a few full size American flags and poles and they were set up at various points around the football field like on the sides or something (I'm pretty sure this happened. I remember us discussing it in choir at least but when writing a journal as serious as this I keep second guessing myself to make sure it's as accurate as can be). Then, at some point during the game, I think the choir started and that eventually everyone there joined in singing God Bless America. I just remember standing on the side of the bleachers and feeling an overwhelming pride and determination and power...belting out with the crowd, "God Bless America..." It was amazing. Over the next few weeks or months I remember trying to help and show my patriotism by buying a couple patriotic CD's, a black metal braclet enscribed with "Always Remember, Never Forget" as well as the areas all four planes hit and the date 9/11, a sweatshirt that I think said "God Bless America" (which I regrettably later lost in a hotel room on a band trip in Yakima WA) and a tee shirt at a vendor set up at a school football game that said "Proud to be an American." Other phrases I remember from shirts, hats, bumper stickers etc. that I saw on display at the PX include "These colors don't run" and "Support America or get the hell out!" Lastly, from that time, I remember the feeling of unity, support, and patriotism from all citizens. For the first few weeks it was common to see people on bridges and street corners holding signs saying "God Bless America" and the like. There were flowers there in memory of the lives lost and many if not most of the cars passing by would honk to show their support and pride. It was unlike anything I had ever known and it faded too quickly. I wish that Americans were not so easily distracted and forgetful and would remember how we felt then...how we all came together as Americans and would try to do so now as well.
As my last part of this entry...now is my time to reflect on a more personal note. I really haven't done much with myself or my life since 9/11. If I had asked myself then, at 14, where I wanted to be in 5 years I would have said something like weight lost, in shape, in college, graduated from HS and seminary, license...I'm not at all what I pictured I'd be...and I know most of that is my fault. I don't want to look back in another 5 years and still not have any of the goals I now envision for myself completed. Sure I've moved slightly forward since I was 14, GED, permit, spiritually, etc. but I'm definitely not where I WANTED to be. I need to change that. I need to ACT. I need to get myself back on track spiritually (nothing major...just go to church more...pray...have the spirit on a regular basis and truly FEEL it again and not just going through the motions) and get my life completely on track in more secular matters. I want to become who I want to be, do what I both need and want to do, and in some way contribute to the world at large and do my part to help in these troubled times- whether that is simply being a righteous mother and raising many kids as good, contributing citizens or something on a larger or more noticable scale...I want to help and do MY part. I believe that I can...I just need to do so. Anyway...that's my "tribute" if you will.